In the progression from dating to, hopefully, marriage, there are different, distinct periods of new life and adjustment. There is the first meeting when both of you recognize that there is a definite attraction between you. One-sided won't do! This is a mutual recognition. Someone has to be bold here! Someone has to start the exchange of names and phone numbers.
Then someone has to make the first call. When my friend, Peggy, and I had brunch the morning after meeting my new love - who had already arranged to take me out to dinner soon, Peggy advised me, "Well, if he doesn't call you, then you need to call him." I told her, point-blank, "If he's not man enough to call me, I won't call him!" That first phone call was exciting, to be sure!
The first few weeks - months? - of dating are thrilling. Everything is new. Given the mutual attraction, both people are really at their best, trying to "sell" themselves to the other. This is fun!
What follows is a very comfortable time between the sparkling realization that there is real love present, and the mutual decision for further commitment. This is a time to get to know each other, a time for reality, a time to allow true friendship to blossom. It is wonderful, easy, purely delightful!
It is in this time that many young modern couples make a giant mistake: moving in together! I've heard it said by so many, "I want to know what I'm getting." "I want to know if he throws dirty underwear everywhere and leaves toothpaste tubes uncapped." "It's just like getting married but I can leave with no regrets if I need to," This is a sure way to kill love, if there is any love. It is pure selfishness by both of the couple. Call it what it is: USING EACH OTHER FOR SEX. It is juvenile. Cohabitation is not marriage but likely will prevent marriage.
Yes, it requires a bit of logistics to manage a relationship from two homes, but it's worth it. If you decide not to have sex until marriage, what is left?: talk, talk, talk! You have lots and lots of time to discuss everything you are, everything you know, and all your hopes. This is building a life. There is no substitute for this. It promotes "togetherness" beyond anything you can imagine. Why would anyone want to settle for less?
Perhaps this friendship and love will progress to wanting to marry and live a common life "till death do us part." The time of engagement is another, more exciting time. Couples also make mistakes by rushing into marriage. You have to take the time to get used to being engaged and plan for your new life. The younger you are, the longer your engagement should last. Bottom line: you want to make sure you are IN LOVE WITH THE PERSON OF YOUR BELOVED, NOT just in love with love. And, you want to put more of your energies into planning a MARRIAGE, not just into planning the wedding.
They say that THOSE WHO LOVE, TOUCH THE FACE OF GOD! Praise You and thank You for this, Oh God!
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