Tiny Sun

As long as I remember, science has fascinated me.  In high school, when we were studying and dissecting our little dead frogs, there happened to be a proliferation of jumping frogs on the school's lawn.  I easily captured a one, borrowed anesthetic from the biology teacher, slit its chest (the frog's!) to see its heart beating.  It was thrilling to see a pea-sized, white, tiny heart, beating.  (My classmates thought I was totally crazy; some even refused to look at the frog's beating heart!)

The elementary chemistry experiments in high school chem lab also were so absorbing.  I made a big decision to major in chemistry in college.  The first year college chemistry was challenging. I earned "A's" in both chemistry and chem lab.  Problem was, I was very weak in Math, getting a "D" in Algebra and "F" in Calculus I.  That almost sunk my college career, but I got "A's" in everything else so I survived - and learned the reality that I could not major in Chemistry.

After another year, another big decision was made: marriage and moving to a distant state.  My interest in all things scientific continued. Do you know that there's a lot of science in cooking? When my children were old enough, I found books on very elementary chemistry and biology experiments and we had fun together.

Fast-forward to my attending nursing school, 1990-1993.  I was in heaven!!  Nursing is 99% science, and it seemed more important to focus on human beings, for the first time, for me. My crowning experience in studying science came when I was working on my Certification in Nephrology Nursing.  Part of the course was learning how each and every chemical that was filtered by our kidneys is processed.  Exciting stuff!

There are approximately one million nephrons, the filtering units of our kidneys, in each of our kidneys.  Did you know that?  Each one, without our even knowing it, filters every substance in our blood, every molecule, the smallest part.  This is so complex, it is impossible that it was the product of "chance!"

In all reality, science is the study of God's universe, God's planet Earth, and God's most favorite creatures, WE human beings, created in God's image.  The Study of Science must result in a far greater appreciation of God and his immense work.  To deny God's part in science is to be a fool, pardon me, to deny yourself.  I fail to see how any scientist could truly believe there is no God and declare he or she is an atheist!

Another "peak experience" of mine in science came at the Kennedy Space Center in the summer of 2013.  With my brother, Don, sister-in-law, Kathleen, and traveling buddy, Peggy, I watched the I-max movie of exploration in deep space by the Hubble telescope.  Can you imagine what it looks like thousands of light years away in space?  The place they showed where planets were 'born' was just beautiful!  Praise You, God Almighty!  What a fabulous universe You have created!

The movement of the sun across the sky and the seasons with the tilt of our planet resulting in changing seasons has also interested me.  Many sunrises and sunsets are spectacular with brightly painted skies. I saw one "Moon Set," (this blog, November 6, 2014).

Some days, like today, are cloudy and overcast.  Yet sometimes the sun valiantly peeps through, presenting glowing clouds, for a short time.  I offer you this photo, 7:44 a.m. today, of the Tiny Sun.

Lord in Heaven, how could we fail to appreciate the wonderful creation you have made for us! We need to praise You and give You thanks all the days of our lives!  We need to sing Your praises in the churches and talk about You to each other!  You are truly the Lord of our lives!

Ready for Anything, #8: Holidays!

If you're a typical American, we have one Holiday under our belt, Thanksgiving Day.  Hope yours was very nice this year!  If you're not the typical American, you have other holidays to celebrate!

Tomorrow it is December 1st and the Big Christmas Preparation Rush begins!  Christmas is a day of wonder and amazement, with plenty of blessings, if we take the time to relish them.  Problem is, most of us simply want to do too much!

We have memories of our childhood Christmases which were fairytales.  We want the same for our children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and ourselves.  We feel that Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without many things happening.  All these things don't substitute for any events in our lives - they are extra!  It takes lots of planning and work to add more things to our already overburdened calendars.

My Happy Memory #1 is baking and eating lots of beautiful, yummy Christmas cookies with my mother and grandmother.  I did the same with my children.  For weeks, when they were in school, I baked and baked: chocolate chip, peanut butter chip, chocolate with peanut butter chips, colored cookies, oatmeal raisin cookies, coconut cookies, cherry cookies, and many more.  Then when the kids came home for vacation, we took a special day for cut-out cookies.  They chose their cookie cutters and, when they were cooled, they decorated them with different colors of icing.  They loved it, got to keep and eat their work.

The kitchen ended up with flour just about everywhere.  About the time it started to bother me, The Cook, Daughter #3, Cathy, age 12, declared that she would take charge of the day.  I didn't even peek in the kitchen, knowing what the results would be, but didn't mind cleaning up afterwards.

I tried to hide the cookies so there would be enough left to eat during Christmas and the week following.  It was hard!  My most successful year was when I gleefully wrapped them in freezer paper, labeled them "FISH," and put them in the freezer.

This tradition continued long after they were grown and had left home.  I baked hundreds of cookies, put them in round tin boxes, and gave them out to family, friends and neighbors.

One Christmas season I was seriously trying to lose weight.  I knew that I always gained several pounds over the holidays, mostly due to the cookies I could not resist.  I decided to BAKE NO COOKIES!  Guess what?  Not even one person asked, "Jan, didn't you bake cookies this year?"  And I haven't baked any since!  But I'm tempted to bake, this year, just for nostalgia.

Other traditions include giving presents to all family, all friends, folks like newspaper deliverer, mail person, and other helpers, plus those at work.  This can get really expensive!  It's very hard to stick to your budget - generosity gets in the way!

I used to sew an incredible, ambitious list of Christmas gifts for immediate family.  Despite my speedy expertise (back then), I ended up one Christmas Eve staying up till about 4 a.m. finishing up.  On another Christmas Day, I started sewing the last Christmas gift when the rest of my family left for church!

My dear mother used to scold me every year because I never could send Christmas cards until after Christmas, try as I might!  She told me, "Why bother?"  It was not until after her death that I actually sent them out before Christmas!  I hoped my mother in heaven saw how I had improved!

Then there's the house and tree decorating.  Add in concerts, parties, Christmas light viewing, and plays, we need lots of energy to even attempt to accomplish all our plans!

So, is it possible to be realistic and rational about holiday plans?  I'm trying to make a list of things to do, places to go, and try not to 'over-schedule.'  I've got the Christmas cards out ready to address; Christmas postage is already bought.

This year, I plan to make one batch of Christmas cookies, German Springerle.  I have mother and grandmother's recipe.  For years, I've had the special rolling pin it takes.  They are quite pretty and delicious - different, if I remember from my youth.  I just would like the family to taste them, for our German tradition.

As far as gifts, I must stick to my budget so I'll try not to go overboard and get into debt,

I have the list of Advent church services and Christmas services.  I'll have to choose so I don't miss any.  I really want to get into the 'spirit' of Christmas: celebrating Jesus' birthday!

Dear God, more than accomplish all our "to do" lists, please help us all capture the true meaning of this Holyday, Christmas! Please help us be ready in our hearts!

What a Joy it is to see my neighbor's Christmas lights finished tonight!  We who live nearby will get to enjoy this display for a whole month!

The King

Elvis would have been 80 years old soon (January 8, 2015).  He died an untimely death on August 16, 1977.  His next concert would have been in Lexington, Kentucky later that month.  Many of my friends had tickets, which they saved.  It was far too expensive for me.  I decided I could get a couple of his 'records' for the price of a ticket.

Elvis was a large cultural influence on all us teens and adults of the 1950's, '60's, and beyond.  They say he has made more money in death than he did in his lifetime.  I appreciate, all these years, that his music, concerts, and movies were 'clean,' in contrast of many entertainers who followed him and even imitated him.

One of Elvis' many hit songs was "There Goes My Only Possession, There Goes My Happiness."  Elvis had many songs devoted to lost love.

There really are people of all ages who cannot recover from being jilted, dumped, left, whatever you want to call it.  Sometimes it takes years; sometimes it never happens.  I know, and I believe it, too, that one's first love is always special. But I also believe that whatever love you receive stays a part of you forever.  And the same with the love you give: it stays with those you love, in some way, forever.

But, we cannot set up anyone, no matter how much we love him or her, as a god, worshipping, making the person to be perfect, expecting more than one human can deliver.  Our happiness should not depend on one person, our happiness is within ourselves!

Yes, we will be sad, even shocked, if the one we love does not love us in return, but we need to believe our grief will not last forever, that we will recover.  And that we will be happy, no matter what.  When we go through the hard times in life, we need to believe that they will not last forever.

I have been, more than once, nastily accused of "seeing the world through rose-colored glasses," in other words, of only seeing the good in all people, even in those who seemingly have no good in them.  I prefer to think of myself as a REALIST, someone who sees what is there.  There is good in every person.  Yet I choose to focus on the good.  I will never be overwhelmed by evil, never!  I know it is there, and I will try to overcome it, as I can.  What else can I do?

I'm also trying to forgive myself, when I have been wrong.  God knows I never tried to hurt anyone on purpose.  Forgiving oneself is harder than forgiving others, and that's not easy either!

So, in whatever circumstances you find yourself in, I wish you the happiness you deserve!

Lord, if we keep our eyes on You, our source and our ultimate destiny, we cannot go wrong!  Oh, back to Elvis:  we all loved him so much, God, we pray he's up there with You, waiting until it's our turn!

The Tale of Two Turkeys

What a pleasant surprise this morning: an early dusting of SNOW!

A touch of snow in the yards, on the roofs - a perfect snow! (NOT on the roads!!)

It is totally out of character for me to actually be grateful for SNOW!  As long as I can remember, I've always dreaded snow.  It's probably because, as a nurse working in a hospital, I had to be at work, no excuses.  It was so risky to drive in snow!  Once I slid into another car and once into a snowbank.  Even when going so slow you're barely moving, snow is dangerous.

As far as I was concerned, S-N-O-W was a four-letter word, not to be spoken out loud.  When daughter #8 was living at home, she would pray for snow.  I would groan and pray against snow.  We laughed that our prayers would collide on the way to heaven and cancel each other out!

Now daughter #8, Jeannie, just moved to Maine and got her wish this morning - inches of snow covering her world.

No longer will I fear snow!  Now that I'm retired, I can cancel my world if the roads are icy!  I can enjoy and appreciate snow.

This Thanksgiving, I was thrilled to host the Big Dinner yet again.  We had such a great time!  Before we ate, the family prayed for all those present, those who are no longer with us, those who could not be with us, and those who are yet to be part of our family.  I told them I thought we had the best family in the universe!

This is my newest and largest ceramic project - finished this morning!

This is the real Thanksgiving turkey, ready for carving - the juiciest we ever ate!

Now that the local grandchildren are no longer of elementary school age, we can sit at the table and chat for a long time.  Then we drifted into the family room and watched the mandatory Thanksgiving Day football game.  Next came a round of picture-taking which, as usual, deteriorated into rounds of silly faces and 'selfies!'  I offer you the funniest: Claire taking a photo of her own new teeth braces.

Seeing this on my camera was a pleasant surprise!  Claire has PINK braces!!

As it turns out, according to the news on TV this morning, being grateful is wonderful for one's health.  An attitude of gratitude is very good for our hearts and our brains, and also for our mental health and our spiritual health.

My gratitude is simple: every day, I thank God for:
*life
*my Catholic faith and education
*my wonderful family and circle of friends
*living in America, still the "Land of the Free"
*my health.
Do you consider yourself having an attitude of gratitude?

Let it snow!  Let it snow!  This winter, I hope to have just enough snow to build a snowman!

Lord, we can never thank You enough for daring to create us humans free to love You and each other, or not.  Help us always, with courage, choose the loving action!

The Calumniator

After our first two-year-old started using curse words, my husband and I cleaned up our act.  We wanted to give the little dear - and all those that followed - a good example.  One of the other children was a rebel, in nearly every way a pre-schooler could be a rebel.  But his child had heard no curse words  at home.

After attending First Grade for a few days, Little Rebel was quietly playing with the blocks, building away.  All of a sudden, I heard a, "hell."  A few minutes later, "hell."  It was obvious to me that Little Rebel didn't know how to use these words but did know they weren't supposed to be used.  I thought if I ignored the problem, it would go away.

For a few days, all the "hells" and "dams" were not acknowledged by me.  I had to take the next step: I told Little Rebel that "hell" and "dam" were bad words and they were not to be said, ever again.  Little Rebel just continued as if I had never forbade the "hells" and "dams."  Then I actually had to threaten and punish: "I told you not to use those words, if you use them again, I'll wash your mouth out with soap!!"

Of course, Little Rebel had to test me with continuing, gleefully, it seemed, with the forbidden words.  So I marched the offending little person to the bathroom sink and commanded, "Stick out your tongue."  I took a bar of soap and rubbed it on the protruding tongue. Then we went our separate ways in the house.

This action cut down the bad words but did not eliminate them entirely.  Looking back, it's a wonder the other children weren't 'infected' with this and I ended up with a bigger problem.  From time to time, the bad words would emerge from Little Rebel and we did our soap on tongue ritual.  When Little Rebel was older, a confession was made, "I came to like the taste of soap!"

I was reminded of these incidents today when I accidentally stumbled on a new word, "Calumniator," in the Bible.  I had to check with the dictionary: "one who makes false and malicious statements, malign, libel, slander.  Being a calumniator is far more serious than the childish use of curse words.  This is so evil that one of the Ten Commandments states, "Do not bear false witness."

Sometimes if we gossip (which is uncharitable) about another, it's so easy to slip into stretching the truth so far it is no longer true, it is bearing false witness, LYING!  We may think that little lies are acceptable, but they are not.  At times, we have to show real courage in telling the truth.  But we can always tell the truth with charity!  We don't need to hit a person over the head with truth!  Be gentle!

Lord, You know it is excruciatingly difficult to ALWAYS tell the truth, but we need to do so.  Please give us the courage we need!

My Love Won't Wait!

Remember the old popular Elvis song, "It's Now or Never, My Love Won't Wait"?  A recent acquaintance of mine, Rosara, is having an extremely difficult time forgiving herself these days.  She is a foreign-born, new American resident.  It is very important in her country that women 'save themselves (their virginity) for marriage.'

Rosara is beautiful, by any measure, and had plenty of young men interested in dating her.  She was shy but accepted dates from a man she trusted, Rick.  After a few months, Rick convinced Rosara that he loved her and wanted to marry her and it was OK to have sex.  Rosara believed him.  Then Rick dumped her!

She was and is thoroughly devastated. "How could he lie so?  How could he leave me, knowing I love him?  Why was I so stupid?"  She is tortured by these questions.  Now she feels worthless, 'used,' and vows she can never get married now that she's ruined.

Rosara has cried and cried, has lost weight, and has problems even going to work.  Friends suggest counseling to help her.  She may try this, she says.  I hope she does go through with it and regains a measure of her former happiness.

"My love won't wait" and "I'm going to marry you" are just two of the many phony 'lines' guys use (and some women, too, I'm sure) to get sex.  Men who use women for their own pleasure can't be called enough evil names: jerks, creeps, etc.  Women later find out what fools they were to believe their lies.  (And a few men, too, of course.)

True love will wait for marriage to have sex.  Rosara's culture is wise; I wish our American culture was that wise!  It certainly would prevent a lot of heartbreaks!  True love wants the best for the beloved.  An untimely pregnancy or S.T.D. is not 'the best.'  Pass this discussion on to the young people you know.  Maybe you will save someone's self-respect.

Dear Lord, You are the One who made all the rules for marriage and sex.  We can break them or ignore them but we will always suffer and cause suffering.  When will we learn?  Help us spread the joy of waiting for marriage and the joys of families!

What do you ask for?

In our ordinary busy day-to-day activities, most of us just plod along doing what we always do, happily or not.  In our younger days we had the opportunity to point the direction our lives would take.  Few considered whether or not they had a choice in this.  Many young folks had very high aspirations: pro football star, head of giant corporation, airline pilot, super model, etc.  And, why not!  It's good to reach for the best!  Why don't more of us try for the best?  What limits us?

Well, for one thing, LIFE limits us!  We realize we don't have what it takes or choose other things important to us instead.  The bottom line is, if we choose ONE thing, we give up other choices.   This is simpler than how it sounds.  When I married at age twenty, I quit college and (without hardly any thought at all!) gave up majoring in Chemistry and discovering something new and important.  But I wanted to raise a family of children; I have never regretted that choice.

It is somewhat disturbing to me that so many young people I know have no plans beyond "having fun," relationship hopping in the process.  If they can get a decent job, earn enough to support themselves in a lifestyle of parties and travel, that is their plan for the rest of their lives.  They really have no intention of doing anything important with their lives, just "party."

However, they are getting what they choose, what they ask for.  It seems that a life of sex and alcohol (I hope there's no drugs) is very empty to me but that is their choice.  Why aim low?  Life can be so much more exciting than endless parties!! I pray they find that out before it's too late to escape - or before they ruin their health.  Really, you get what you ask for!

Dear Lord, when it's the right time in our lives, please help us make wise choices, the choices You would have us make.  Help us guide our young people and inspire them with our choices!

A Different Kind of Sunday . . .

We've had such a wonderful, exciting, busy family visit in Jacksonville, Florida!  I hate to leave everyone but must go home to Lexington, Kentucky, for more family and commitments.  It's 70 degrees outside this morning as I leave.

Last baby Adi photo quickly snapped before departure this morning.  Awwwwwwwwwwww!!!

Today is Sunday but it is unusual because I'm driving all day.  Since my retirement as a weekend nurse, I've enjoyed the privilege of keeping holy the "Lord's Day."  I love to go to Mass at my church on Sundays but went to Holy Family church in Jacksonville with Mallory, Adi's big sister, yesterday evening.

Since I do a lot of driving everywhere from north to south, this side of the Mississippi River (mostly), I've been asked this question plenty of times, "How do you stay awake on such long trips?"  This is a good time to 'tell all.'

I've made a habit of saying The Rosary alternating with listening to music CDs, usually religious, if I'm driving alone. Along with drinking plenty of cokes and recording my experiences and thoughts on my small digital recorder, I'm more than stimulated!

One CD I listened to today, actually my favorite religious CD, is country music singer Colin Raye's "His Love Remains."  My favorite song is "Give Me Jesus," something I've sang so many times to myself that I have it memorized.  Colin Raye performed this in a concert in Lexington several years ago.  Another favorite religious CD is "Harmony," from The Priests.  My favorite selection from the three priests is "You'll Never Walk Alone."  Also today I listened to CDs by Johnny Mathis and Vince Gill.

My favorite "mysteries" of the rosary are the new "Mysteries of Light" (also called the "Luminous Mysteries") by the late Pope John Paul II.  To learn what are the prayers of the rosary, go to www.rosary-center.org.  You can also get a free ap on your iPhone, "Laudate."

The rosary presents various events in Jesus Christ's life for meditation.  When I pray the First Mystery, The Baptism of Jesus, I imagine I'm close to Jesus in the warm, muddy waters of the Jordan River.  I can see the dense reeds swaying in the breeze, as when daughter #4, Theresa, and I toured Israel last year.

At this moment I'm snuggly settled into a motel halfway between Jacksonville and Lexington.  Tomorrow I'll be ready to tackle driving through the mountains and then I'll be home!!

Yes, this Sunday, today, is different, but it was good and I felt that I had kept "The Lord's Day" properly.

Lord, thank You for reserving Sundays as Your Day, and for allowing me to observe it.  Lead others to the joys of keeping Your Day holy also!

FYI: for more photos of my driving trip today, you are invited to check out my travel blog, www.rockingthruworld.blogspot,com.  

Ready for Anything, #7: In-Laws Visit!

My mother-in-law, Sally, was a widow when I married, so she was the only Parent-in-law I had.  We were great friends for years. The second summer after my wedding, I was in the weddings of my two best friends.  I stayed at my grandmother's house in Louisville (Kentucky, U.S.A.) with my one-year-old baby girl for two weeks each time.  During the days, I mostly went over to my mother-in-law's house to sew with her.  We would pick the mint growing in her yard, put it in our iced tea, and pretend we were drunk!

I also learned from her how to cook practical things like her potato salad and meatloaf which I still cook.

Then I had a bunch of girls (8) and Sally didn't know what to do. With three boys, Sally couldn't relate to the girls at all.  She openly favored my older son, would give him presents and give nothing to the girls.  It apparently didn't bother the girls very much but I didn't appreciate the favoritism.

In her later years, before we knew she had dementia, Sally would visit and read her novels all day.  May you rest in peace, my friend!

This is definitely not the case with most of my daughters and most of my friends!  Mothers-in-law, it seems, most of them deserve their bad reputation.  Two of my daughters' mothers-in-law made Cruella de Ville, the Disney villian, look like an Angel!  Both of them didn't like my daughters and told their sons not to marry them.  It went downhill from there. But both 'ladies' behaved at the weddings; we were worried they wouldn't!  I think it 'bit' them, though, because both of their sons and my daughters severely limit their visits to them; this prohibits the mothers-in-law from enjoying the grandchildren they really want to enjoy.  You can't have it both ways, ladies!

Several of my children's mothers-in-law are obnoxiously controlling to the point of rearranging their daughters-in-law's kitchen cabinets, giving them marriage advice and child-care advice, etc.  This is extremely hurtful. The adult children, together with their children, had moved far, far away from these particular 'ladies.'  Again, visits from their children and the sweet grandchildren they'd particularly like to see are rare.  What a pity!

In my experience, I've never seen or heard of a nasty father-in-law; yet they let the 'battle-axes' hurt others and never say a word.  Interesting.

What can we parents of adult children, especially if we are mothers-in-law, do if we judge that our children are doing the 'wrong' thing in regards to this or that?  We should NEVER, EVER give advice unless it is asked of us, to our adult children!  NEVER, EVER!!  I'll be the first to admit that this is hard to accomplish.  But, consider: we have raised our children the very best we knew how to raise them.  Sure, they made mistakes, but so did we and do we.  Unless someone is about ready to fall off a cliff, leave them alone!  Love them, mightily.  Pray for them, earnestly.  But let them live their lives with their families.

If you're the younger person and your in-law(s) are coming to visit, be the mature adult, even if they're not, for the sake of your children.  Believe me, when the children are grown, they will see the nastiness of the grandparents - or the wonderfulness, if it's there.  This doesn't mean you have to stop parenting your children and let the in-laws run your lives.  Be firm, be nice, smile.  Treat the in-laws well - they won't be around forever.   It would be nice for your children to have happy memories of them, even if they don't deserve it!!

Dear Lord, each and every one of us, particularly the children, deserve mature, loving, parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, mothers-in-law, and fathers-in-law.  Help us be the best we can be, please, in whatever role we find ourselves!

FYI: for a few photos of my latest grandson, you're invited to check out my travel blog later, www.rockingthruworld.blogspot.com.  What an angel!

Cheaters, #8 : Local Nuclear Fallout!

If you're a reader of this blog, you know my opinions on those who cheat on their wives and husbands: they are low-lifes, more poisonous than the largest scorpions or most poisonous snake.  The harm from cheaters, these "lesions" on the landscape of humanity seems to be endless.  Recently I found out about a friend of mine from long ago who has greatly suffered due to the secret infidelity of her husband.  She was pregnant at the time, nearly lost their baby, and needed a hysterectomy as the result of the STD she didn't know she had been infected with by her idiot husband.

When writing on a topic, I sometimes return to what I've previously written so I don't duplicate material, especially since this one is #504, according to my records. Within the first week of starting the blog, the first "Cheaters" was offered, "Cheaters, Number One," 7/2/13.  This opined that 1) if you have sex with a person, in terms of diseases, you are having sex with everyone that person has ever had sex with and 2) if a person will cheat on his or her spouse, they will cheat on YOU.

"Cheaters, Number Two," the next day, 7/3/13, told of a very good friend of mine's experience at the emergency room with her husband: he almost died because he withheld information that he was taking Viagra to help him with his cheating affair.  One of the lessons learned: by any measure, adultery is not worth any thrill you may have.

"The See-Saws: Cheaters #3," was offered 9/22/13.  Another friend of mine, single, was approached by a married man several times and rejected by her.  The lessons were 1) know the marital status of a person before you date them, and don't believe a married person who tells you how horrible their marriage is, another "line" to get you to have sex with them, and 2) serial marry-cheat-divorce-marry-cheat-divorce people divorce sooner every time; beware and leave them in their misery.

"The Tale of Two Cheating Women (Cheaters, #4)," came out soon thereafter, 9/4/13.  Both women were single, cheating with married men.  The first cheating woman was suicidal after finding out her lover's wife was pregnant. This woman subsequently married.  The second cheating woman is still cheating with the same married man.  Not mentioned in the blog entry: at one time the second cheating woman got pregnant by this man who had a number of children already with his wife.  He convinced her to get an abortion.  Lessons learned included: don't cross the line and engage in an adulterous relationship, you don't want it on your conscience that you have taken away time and resources from your married lover's family.

Next came "It Takes Two to Cheat But . . .," 9/9/13, Cheaters #5.  If one person of a potential cheating temptation says, "No!" the cheating event will not happen.  You WILL regret cheating; you don't want to know that YOU caused your marriage to break up.  You will NEVER regret staying faithful to your spouse.  Keep your vows!

"Cheaters #6: Waves," 5/7/14, explored "repercussions" from cheating: "extreme suffering on the part of the victims. . . Most (cheaters) were forgiven, although it took some nearly a lifetime to come to this forgiveness.  It shows that a cheating episode has 'waves' of pain which will hurt everyone in the family, friends, and community."

On 9/8/14, the blog topic was "Cheaters, #7: Nuclear Fallout."  This involved one of a long-term co-habiting relationship blatantly cheating.  He risked losing the woman he loved and then lost the woman he loved.

So then, this is blog #8 on the topic, "Cheaters."  If I had known the circumstances surrounding this family prior to "Cheaters, #7," I would have never called it "Nuclear Fallout."  The consequences of Cheaters #8 is far more tragic and could have been DEADLY!  I want to weep whenever I think of this family!

Situation:  Georgia and Aaron were expecting their second child.  Georgia thought they were very happily married.  Both adored their first child and were looking forward to the new baby.  Georgia was getting excellent prenatal care.  Towards the end of her pregnancy, Georgia started feeling sick.  Her doctor discovered that Georgia had several STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).  In addition to being very sick, Georgia was in extreme emotional SHOCK.  She knew she never, in her life, had sex with anyone except Aaron.  It was hard to believe that Aaron cheated on her.  How could he be so evil and irresponsible!  She didn't even want to know who was the skanky woman!

Georgia had to be hospitalized for several days.  The infections in her were abated but  the consequences to her baby were unknown. Several days later, Georgia had to have a Caesarian section to deliver the baby, due to the nature of one of the viruses with which Aaron had infected her.  The baby was fortunate and had not been infected.  Yet Georgia had to have a hysterectomy due to her infections.

Lessons learned:  Not everyone knows they're infected with an STD if they have sex with more than one person. Of those infected persons, not all will tell their sex partners about their infection.  The ONLY way to avoid STDs is to be monogamous!  These days, you may not only contract one STD, you probably will catch several, if you cheat around.  Giving an infection to your husband or wife is disastrously evil.  Passing an infection on to your unborn child is totally selfish and irresponsible!

Outcome:  I consider Georgia a living saint.  Georgia forgave Aaron of his infidelity, risking death to their unborn child, and causing her illness resulting in surgery and infertility.  Aaron seems to have 'sobered up' and stopped having affairs.  They are still married and appear to be a happy family.

The reason I mention this in this "relationship" blog is to present the reality of life to my children, grandchildren and readers.  Be careful, know what you're doing in your relationships.  I wish for you the BEST life has to offer!

Now: WHAT can we who oppose cheating relationships do to stop the culture of cheating in our beloved America?  We can never condone such liasons!  We have to get rid of the "boys will be boys" mentality.  It is never right for anyone to cheat!  We have to vote for wholesome morality in our TV programs and movies.  We can refuse to watch sit-coms that accept cheating as normal. We can refuse to buy products that sponsor immoral TV programs and movies!  If we patronize wholesome entertainment, we will do our part to promote wholesome relationships.  Don't forget how important ONE PERSON is!! Together, we are POWERFUL!!!

Dear Lord, thank you for giving me whatever energy, insights, and love for writing I have in these pages.  Help me to present everything I can to educate and to inspire TRUE LOVE in all!

Un-Re-Re

There seems to be a big disconnect in America between the nearly continuously employed and the chronically unemployed.  The workers feel a need to work so that they and their families can have a roof over their heads and eat, and many of those who would actually rather not work expect the rest of us to give them the means of support.  Not everyone fits into these nice, neat categories.  Some can't work and others shouldn't work, the handicapped, or, the 'other-abled.'  I bet you know plenty of people who have lost their jobs!

I just met a young single man who lost his temporary job, along with many others in his company.  He is currently obsessed with finding a job.  And, he is also studying for another certification in his field.  He's very intelligent, hard-working, clean, nice-looking, and friendly.  He certainly will be one of the first to find another job.  He also has his friends and former co-workers helping him look for jobs.  His wide network of friends is helping him live between jobs.  An important advantage this single man possesses: he is willing to re-locate anywhere there is a new job.

Then there is the husband of a friend who has been unemployed for FOUR YEARS!  He has a college degree that is now obsolete.  After he lost his job, he seriously looked for another for several months.  His wife is working very hard but is afraid they have reached the limit of their savings and will lose their house soon.  She wants him to get a job - any job - that will bring in any income.  But he insists he needs a job "in his own field."  Why won't this guy get additional training!!  In this time, he could have gotten another college degree!  The man and woman fight so much over his lack of any job, I fear their marriage won't last much longer.  In former years, before all this "women's liberation" idiocy, men had to much pride to let themselves be supported by a woman.  Now, we hear of men seeking alimony from their working wives!!

Another friend is a young single woman who, two years ago, was fresh out of college with a degree in a field she loved.  However, her field was highly specialized and there were NO jobs in her area.  She was unwilling to relocate. After a year of unemployment, she went back to school for certification in another field, totally unrelated to her first degree.  She was unemployed for yet another year.  Yet she never gave up looking for a job in her second field.  Two months ago she was hired.  The company is very careful to give most of their workers the number of hours just short of full-time work so they won't have to pay benefits.  She is doing very, very well in her new job and loves it.  She hopes that in time, she will be one of the few in the company who have full-time jobs with benefits.

Being employed does wonders for a person's frame of mind!  The formula to get a job these days seems to be:  Unemployed? = ReEducate yourself = ReEmployment.  Not easy, but effective!

Dear God in Heaven, our world seems to be turned upside down in so many ways!  Please help us help each other in any way we can!

Poor? Rich?

For economic resources, do you consider yourself POOR, or are you RICH? Do you have what you need to survive, to "get by?"  Are you able to provide yourself and your family, if you are blessed with live-in relatives, all of what you and they NEED and some of what you and they WANT?

Your attitude about your resources is critical to your happiness!  If you are fairly content with your income and how you're able to live, you are blessed!  You and your world are happy!

In my growing up years, my mother and grandmother lived like we were "poor."  There's a fine line between being thrifty and cautious financially, and between saving too much.  I now understand that when my dear, long-departed grandmother and grandfather suffered the horrible shock of the 1929 Stock Market Crash and resulting economic "Depression," their lives were forever changed. Grandpa's salary was immediately cut 50% and Grandma had to go to work so the family could eat.  With a 6th-grade education, no previous job experience, and a practically non-existant job market, she did the only thing she could do: scrub floors (on hands and knees!) for "rich" people.  She was bitter about this for the rest of her 82-year life.

Mother, dear mother, may you also rest in peace, caught this pervading atmosphere, "we're poor, we're barely scraping by," and kept it for many years.  Mother shopped for bakery items at the "day old store."  For years, she sewed clothes for me and my three younger brothers (even some underwear!) out of the free (and somewhat rough) printed feed bags my Uncle Robert gave her left from feeding cattle on his farm.

Mother had but one "good, Sunday best" outfit which she wore for years.  We children were dressed well but mother was not.  We ate simply; ice cream was a rare luxury.

Much later I found out that we lived in, for that time and even now, one of the "richest" areas in Louisville (in Kentucky, U.S.A.).  I also discovered that mother had been paying two or three house payments every month!

Mother's attitude markedly morphed into one of feeling "well-off" financially after our family moved with Dad to Dayton, Ohio, U.S.A., after I graduated from high school.  What was the difference?  She was far enough geographically away from Grandma and then with Dad.  Growing up without much money in rural Tennessee, Dad's family never had much money but they were considered "rich" because Dad's father owned a grocery store and taught school.  Dad always felt "rich."

After my brothers and I married and Dad learned how to succeed in the Stock Market, Mother's attitude further changed into one of truly feeling "rich."  Mom and Dad took dozens of cruises all over the world.  My brothers called the building in San Antonio (Texas, U.S.A.) where Mom and Dad last lived "The Taj Mahal."  They were successful, financially, beyond Mother's wildest expectations.

What was my own feeling about wealth or lack of it while raising my own children?  I never knew what my husband earned, I just knew that if I needed anything for myself or the children, it would be provided.  And that's how we lived.  We told the children we could provide for what they needed,  but if they wanted anything beyond that, "Get a job!"  We never felt we should compete with some of their friends' families who bought only fancy, expensive brand-name athletic shoes, and everything else.

Feelings of being "rich" or "poor" are based on comparisons and expectations.  What do you expect to own?  How do you expect to live?  You may work hard, very hard, earn a lot of money, or not.  You may get a high-paying job, invent something terrific that earns millions of dollars, or not.  You may get more education to try to get a better job, or not.  You may be in dire circumstances and have to go on the public dole (welfare) or not.  We are indeed fortunate in 2014 if we or the primary wage-earner in the family has a decent job and our needs are met.

In my opinion, one of the worst of our government proclamations was the May, 1978, "directive" by the IRS (Internal Revenue Service) Office of Management and Budget, "Definition of Poverty for Statistical Purposes."  It is a very complicated formula, based on "family size, sex of family head, number of children under 18 years of age, and non-farm residences."  It's purpose was noble, I'm sure, to enable the government to keep American families from starving and homeless conditions.  Yet it may have very well been the start of American expectations: if we don't earn what the government says a family our size needs to earn, then we are in POVERTY and can get more income from the government in the form of subsidies, food stamps, etc.  This document, in effect, by creating numbers for comparison, created ENTITLEMENT!

There were plenty of years when my husband, who earned a decent salary and could provide for all our needs, along with me and the children, could have qualified for government aid due to the size of our family.  But we knew we didn't need it and also knew we were too proud to accept government aid!  We didn't turn down, however, a hefty tax refund every year.  We made ends meet by careful budgeting.

This week, I'm visiting Patty, daughter #6, child 8 of 10.  I told her what topic I was blogging on today and asked her if she ever felt "poor" while growing up.  She thought for a few minutes, then answered, "I knew that we didn't have some of the things - like vacations to Disney and other places - that some of my classmates had, but I never felt poor."

Now that I'm retired and receiving Social Security income (which is insurance I've paid into for many years, NOT wefare!!!), I'm having to return to more strict budgeting, as I knew I would have to.  But I am truly blessed, beyond my very wildest expectations, in the things that matter - family, friends, health, church community, even living in America.  I am RICH!!!

Dear Lord, I thank you for all my worldly material blessings, all my life, and that I can look back with good feelings of always having what I needed.  Help all people in this beautiful world of Yours enjoy the same level of care and happiness!

Ready for Anything, #6: Sickness

We nurses are quite used to being asked by our friends, neighbors, co-workers, and acquaintances who are poor, lazy, or cheap about their various medical maladies.  I don't mind at all - sometimes I ask them about household repairs, legal matters, car problems, etc.

The question I am asked the most concerns food: "I've had this or that in the refrigerator for X number of days.  Should I eat it?"  I always have the same response: "Throw it out.  It's a lot cheaper than having to go to the emergency room for dehydration if you get severe diarrhea!"  In other words, never take a chance and get food poisoning.

Long ago I knew a woman who fed her husband spaghetti that had been in her refrigerator for two weeks.  He developed such severe food poisoning he was hospitalized for two weeks!  Never take a chance on food; throw it out after 3 or 4 days.  When in doubt, throw it out!!

It's a good idea to keep medicines you can buy over the counter at home for minor illnesses.  For diarrhea, keep immodium tablets.  Follow the directions on the box exactly.  NEVER take more than it calls for.  Never give adult medicine to children.

It's good planning to be ready for other small medical problems you can handle on your own.  Everyone catches a common cold at one time or another.  Keep a nasal decongestant and lots of facial tissues on hand so you won't have to go out in the cold if you have a runny nose.  Best PREVENTION FOR COLDS:  wash your hands before eating. NEVER put food or anything in your mouth unless you have thoroughly washed your hands!!!  Cold viruses are tough!  They may live for two weeks on hard surfaces.  You spread cold germs to yourself by touching them on hard surfaces and them putting your hands in your mouth or objects your hands have touched.  Don't bite on your pens, etc.  Watch out for 'shared' things like computer keyboards at work, public phones, TV remotes, door handles and light switches.

If a cold continues for several days, unchanged, despite your over-the-counter medicine, IF you develop chest pain when you breathe or a fever, go visit your doctor or nurse practitioner.  People are so cheap when it comes to visiting a professional!!  Always remember: the charges are cheaper than the emergency room charges!  Don't wait too long!!

Another area that's neglected concerns Dental Care. If you have pain in your mouth, you NEED to see a dentist!  Don't forget: a simple infection can quickly spread to your whole body.  Then you have a very serious problem!  Take care of small problems before they grown into big problems!!

Folks hate to seek medical advice and many wait too long.  This is brash, but: funerals - yours - cost even more!  Take care of yourselves, please!!  People love you and need you!  Don't let them down!!

Dear Lord, please help us develop good health habits so we can PREVENT most minor illnesses.

Peeping Behind Columns

Before nursing school (in the early 1990's), I had a bad case of cyberphobia, or fear of computers.  They looked so complicated that I didn't even want to touch one.  My daughter #1, Anna, had already graduated from college with a degree in Computer Science so they certainly were beyond my capability.

At nursing school, there were many of us who shared this fear.  We wanted to take care of people, not machines.  Our instructors told us, "You WILL learn to use computers."  So we did!  At my last job, I was given "Super-user" status on computer so I could help my colleagues with the newest updates!  What a long way I came!

Several of my family members suffered with aviophobia, or fear of flying in airplanes.  One man, now in his forties, so avoided flying that he drove long distances.  He finally decided to conquer this fear due to really bad traffic in large cities!

I'll also admit to mild cases of dentophobia, fear of dentists, glossophobia, fear of speaking in public, and arachnophobia, fear of spiders.  These seem to be general, universal fears of many people.  Over the years, I've just talked myself into accepting these things as 'good.'  After all, I tell myself, spiders eat a lot of insects for us!

If you'd like to see an interesting list of many great fears, go to www.phobialist.com.  There are some very unusual fears!: cataptro: fear of mirrors, arimophobia: fear of numbers, and to me, the most interesting: arachibutyro: fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.

Several family members have acrophobia, fear of heights and also entomophobia,  fear of insects, and have no interest in possibly conquering their phobias.  One daughter had cynophobia, fear of dogs, when she was a pre-schooler; now she owns two active dogs.

A "phobia" is an unnatural fear of what might happen, way out of proportion to reality.  Do you have any fears that are holding you back from wholeheartedly participating in and enjoying life?  It's almost like hiding behind a big, tall, dark column in the back of a concert or sports event you'd really like to watch, or sitting on the side, afraid to learn how to dance.  The phobia itself causes bad feelings in you.  This is NOT a happy way to live!

Is it "Get a Grip" time for you?  Don't let anything hold you back!  Face your every fear, one by one, try to gradually talk yourself out of having an unnatural fear.  Caution is one thing: we near to fear stepping out in heavy traffic, etc.  But we shouldn't let a fear which we could conquer hold us back and cause us pain.  If you need to do so, please get counseling to help you.  YOU CAN DO IT!!!

It's an entirely good thing I learned to be proficient on computers!  Tatooed in our little nursing student brains was, "If it's not documented, it's not done!!"  So, we started out writing our vital signs and assessments then gradually progressed, as medical institutions embraced technology, putting into computers our statistics and evaluations.  I personally don't know if it save us time, but it most assuredly made our information readily available to everyone on the healthcare team.  I'm told that soon my last hospital will have vital signs automatically entered into a patient's record.

I thank you, Anna, for giving me my first computer which was a glorified Word Processor.  I have enjoyed working with the various computers tremendously!  Computers have given me the world!  Especially enjoyable to me has been working on my blogs.  Thanks also to Dave, my son-in-law, for teaching me to "blog."  This is, by my count, Blog #500 on this topic!!!

Lord, sometimes You take away my breath by allowing me to do things I never thought was possible!  Thank you many more times!  Help all my fellow friends and would-be friends to soar beyond what they think is possible and enjoy the fullness of LIFE, the life You have given us!

FYI: I'll also be working on my travel blog later today.  I hope to reach my final destination, if the fog ever clears!! (www.rockingthruworld.blogspot.com)

The Basic Basics

FAITH: Here's a primer of what will ultimately be critically important to each and every one of us, believer in God and non-believer alike. First, it is utter folly to believe that we intelligent beings, so wonderfully complex and free, were created by chance meeting of raw matter.  We were directly created by God, the whole of humanity and each of us individually, because He loves us. 

I've been asked by plenty of people, "Well, do you believe in evolution?"  Of course, I do, the archeological evidence is abundantly present.  God could have created humans directly out of "the dust of the earth," literally, or God could have evolved us from apes, also "the dust of the earth."  That doesn't matter.  What does matter is that somewhere along the line, God made intelligent beings, human beings, US, people who innately know that there is SOMEONE bigger than us, SOMEONE who made us and the whole of creation.

We can run from God's love, if we so choose, by ignoring it. We can purposely defy God's love by defiling ourselves with all the evil actions we can accomplish; God will still love us.

At the end of our lives, God will be just and judge us. God will then send us to heaven or hell, forever, FOREVER: what a sobering thought.

How do we want to LIVE, FOREVER?  In God's love?  In eternal damnation because of our purposeful evil choices?

We dare not put off "getting our act together" in this important matter!  We know the fragility of human life - here today, gone tomorrow - accidents, strokes, heart attacks - young, old - we do not know when we will die and need to render an account for our lives.  The wise person will get a grip, and start or continue on a quest to know God, and know him well, while still able to do so.

If we went to church as a child because our parents made us - or not - is of little consequence.  What is important now is what we choose now and for the rest of our lives.

WE need a way to know God better and better each day, and to worship God.  Everything else, in the end, is secondary to this.

Belonging to an organized religion is the easiest way to accomplish this.  Studying your faith and living your faith is the sure way to heaven.

You have heard about God now, even if only in your heart.  Do you want a childish, adolescent faith?  Man up, or Woman up!  Claim what you deserve: the FULLNESS of the faith!

My Lord, I love You with all my heart and thank you for making me in Your image and likeness.  Help me spread Your love for us all to everyone I know and everyone who reads this.  Joy!  Joy!

Saying "NO!" #2: Blackmail

In our day-to-day living, we never purposely think about the times we automatically say, "No," or "Yes."  It's just our habits.  Some of us have a problem saying, "No" to anything and, consequently, find ourselves much too busy and fatigued.  I had this problem years ago.  I figured that, if I was not scheduled at a particular thing, I should agree to do this or that worthy volunteer project.  It was hard to keep up with all my commitments.  I found out, the hard way, time does not equal energy!  At one point, I actually had to write "NO!!" on a piece of paper and tape it to my phone.

Finding out that the P.T.A. at my children's elementary school was spending money - which I had worked hard to help raise - on worthless projects, I was finally cured of my inability to say "No."  Why should I waste my time!  All kinds of leaders concoct all kinds of projects, some of which are, frankly, stupid.

If I blog on the same topic several times, I like to number the blog entries.  I also like to look back and see what I've written on previous blogs in a series.  I had to look a long time on this one.  "Saying "NO!" #1: The First Time" was written clear back on January 11th of this year.

Saying "NO!" is sometimes a tricky business, especially if someone has said "NO!" to us.  One of the worst times happens if someone we dearly loves wants to leave us - permanently.  This could be a lover or a spouse.  Once in a while the offended party will resort to the desperate attempt to keep the lover or spouse and say, "If you leave, I'll kill myself!"   What a horrible, manipulative, evil threat!  It is BLACKMAIL, pure and simple!

What's in the mind of a person making such a threat?  Maybe they're thinking they'll never have another lover, that they're so worthless and ugly, no one else could possibly love them.  Maybe they've made grand and glorious plans for the future and see nothing but misery if they're alone.  They are, in effect, inflexible and unstable.

Can you imagine what could kill any love you have for someone faster than the statement, "If you leave, I'll kill myself?"  What should you do?  Now, you HAVE TO LEAVE.   There is NO RETURN to any of the good parts of the relationship.

"If you leave, I'll kill myself!" is no expression of a great, powerful love.  It is the statement that this person is incredibly NEEDY.  He or she is nothing by themselves, and must have another to reaffirm them, constantly.  This is smothering another person.  It has nothing to do with the wholesome feelings of love.

The person doing the leaving is usually caught off guard when told this.  They may be momentarily paralyzed.  They are a good enough person to worry, "What if she (or he) actually follows through with this threat?"  They don't, of course, want to feel responsible for someone's death.  Yet, even more than previously, they cannot stay in the relationship.

The 'leaving' person needs to immediately tell others about their former lover or spouse's threat, to immediately get them to counseling.  With others present, hopefully with counselor(s) present, they need to make it perfectly clear that their decision is permanent and irrevocable.  It would be very wrong to give the rejected person the slightest particle of hope for a return to being together.  It would certainly prolong his or her pain.  Day? Night? Weekend? This cannot wait!  If all the counselors are not available, take the person making the threat immediately to a hospital emergency room.

This situation is rare, I think, but it helps to know what you would do if every emergency.

Dear Lord, in sorting out the ONE you want us to love, for life, we ask you to lead us, guide us, and give us the strength to do what we must in difficult circumstances.  Thank You!

FYI: Tomorrow I'm going on another BIG trip!  Check out my travel blog, www.rockingthruworld.blogspot.com, starting today with "Hard Freeze at Home, Heading South Again!"

Having to Ask

My old friend, Betsy, now deceased, suffered for most of her adult life with mental illness. She worked hard at a low-paying job and was hospitalized now and then due to her illness.  I met her at work and we became friends.  It was years before I knew about her struggles.  I was promoted, moved on to another job but didn't lose touch with Betsy and several other friends I met there.

A mutual friend, JoAnn, or so I thought, and I were chatting one day.  I asked her, "Have you seen Betsy lately?"  She angrily replied, "Oh, I avoid her.  Talking to her is like being an unpaid psychiatrist." This hurt me to hear JoAnn talk of Betsy in such a superior, condescending manner.

I never thought of being with Betsy like that.  We just shared what was going on in our lives, always at lunch, always at the same sandwich shop.  I enjoyed her company.

I'm a 'huggy-type' person.  I love to touch and be touched.  With friends, at family gatherings of any size and at church, hugs, hugs, hugs!  I'm in heaven!

Yet professionally, at work in the hospital, hugs were incredibly few.  Due to privacy laws, threat of sexual harassment lawsuits, and, I can't forget, infection control issues, skin-to-skin touching was practically non-existant.  If there was a family member I had connected with, especially if their loved one was very sick or dying (or had died), I would ask, "Could I give you a hug?"  I was never refused.

By and large, much of our society longs for the friendly touch, the smile, the word of encouragement.  We all need a cheerful, encouraging word, a shadow of recognition.  Years ago at my church, the piano tuner came to Mass. He was not a Catholic and didn't know about the part, "The Sign of Peace."  He was enchanted!  "Two little boys shook my hand!"

Sometimes we're given the cold shoulder.  Sometimes if we wave at someone we know, we are ignored.  So???  Does that hurt?  Brush off the feeling and don't stop waving and smiling and hugging!  Pass along your joy in life!

Lord, I can imagine Betsy in heaven, no longer being ignored, no longer being misunderstood.  I can see all the people alive today, with a smile in their hearts and a smile on their faces.  We ask you to help us do our small part to make it happen!

My Matchmaker

My dear friend, Rosemary, is my matchmaker.  She is very happily married and wishes the whole world would be as happily married as she is.  Thus, she frequently encourages me to join the online dating services to meet eligible men.  Wellllllllllllllll. . . for one thing, I don't have time!  I've got a lot of projects in the works and enjoy working on all of them.

For another thing, I do meet a lot of men.  In my age bracket, there are very few men eligible to marry, that I would consider dating.  Most of them are far too aggressive for me!

A very nice looking gentleman came up to me at our church mission one year and introduced himself,  "Hi, I'm ----- , I'm a widower and interested in getting married again. I'm new to this church.  Could you show me where to sit?"  No kidding!  If he would have left off the bit about "getting married again," I may have been more helpful.  I directed him to a suitable seat and told him I had to help out in the kitchen which was true.

Several years ago, I met a single man from my church who was living abroad, visiting relatives here.  I don't believe in love at first sight, but this was definitely love at first sight. Even after knowing him just a short time, I was yearning to return with him to where he was living.  Yet, at the time, I had other family and job responsibilities I could not/would not give up to move on the other side of the world.  In a way, I still mourn and regret refusing him.

Lord, I praise and thank You for all the loving people in my life - those who are in my life now and those who have passed through my life at one time.

Blurring the Lines

Today the New York City Police Department was pleased to announce that it will no longer arrest citizens found with possession of 24 grams of marijuana or less; it will give them a "ticket," like a parking ticket.  Oh, well, here we go again!  What's the next step: legalizing pot in the State of New York, to follow other states?  I researched this and was shocked to find out the extent of this growing menace:

"Twenty-three states and the District of Columbia currently have laws legalizing marijuana in some form.  Four states have legalized marijuana for RECREATIONAL USE.  Alaska and Oregon will become the next states where recreational marijuana is legal after voters approved cannabis ballot measures set to become effective in 2015," (www.governing.com, 11-12-14).

Right from the start of nursing school, when we learned about the effects of drugs, we knew that marijuana is a "gateway drug," one that not only addicts a certain percentage of users, but leads them to use other, more potent and more addictive drugs, to their ultimate destruction.  After Colorado legalized pot, I asked my two favorite doctors if marijuana was, indeed, still a "gateway drug."  Both simply said, "Yes."

FYI: 24 grams of marijuana is the amount that would 'roll' 60 joints.

It is inconceivable to me that any person would want to get 'high.'  I don't want to pollute my body with an unknown, illegal substance.  Now that's it's legal in places, the mixing of pot with unknown substances such as LSD probably can be controlled.  Yet: the addictive properties are unchanged.

If you want to know more about this, check out www.drugfreeworld.org.  The most disturbing fact I found is, "One study found that youth (12 to 17 years old) who use marijuana are 85 times more likely to use cocaine than kids who do not use pot, and that 60% of the kids who smoke pot before the age of 15 move on to cocaine," (11-12-14).

My point is: we must not accept that things that were considered 'wrong' and now magically 'right.'  This is like calling 'cancer' 'health.'  We not only must not 'accept,' we ought to fight this! 

Lord, the challenges in our times seem to be unceasing!  They are multiplying!  Yet we know You will give us the grace to always know right from wrong and also the strength to do what we can to uphold Your truth.  Thank You! 

Celebrate Today!

In the United States today, we celebrate Veteran's Day.  We honor all those who are presently serving in the military, and those who had previously served.  There is no way we could adequately thank them for their sacrifice, and also thank the families for their sacrifice.  FREEDOM IS NOT FREE!

My son-in-law, Fielding, currently serving in the United States Submarines, in the State of Washington.  I'm so very proud of you, dear!!  And I'm also proud of my Daughter #8, Jeannie, for her unfailing support with their son, Xavier.

Jeanne and Fielding with little Xavier, August, 2012, Port Orchard, Washington.

Early this morning, as I ate my breakfast, on TV I watched Guy Gruters, a former P.O.W. (Prisoner of War) in Vietnam, tell of his capture and subsequent starvation and torture.  It had been a long time since I heard of such things, the atrocities.  Yet I could not stop tears from streaming down my face as he told of how his faith in God was the key to his survival.

One incident Guy related was the time the Viet Cong ordered him to climb inside a small metal box as punishment for not telling them what they wanted to know.  In the sun, in the jungle, the box was very hot.  As he was climbing in the box, one of the Viet Cong soldiers, slipped him a small piece of cardboard.  He was grateful to God; now, at least, he had a small fan.  He climbed in.  They locked the box.  He was on his knees.  Then he heard thunder in the distance.  In two hours it started to pour rain.  This cooled the metal box.  He survived.  Guy's homecoming was glorious!

FYI: visit www.guygruters.net for more info about Guy.  Visit www.catholicmil.org for prayers for our military and other resources.

One who did not come home, in the war in Afghanistan, was my nephew, Justin, killed in Afghanistan in September, 2008.  This was a severe shock for our whole family!  I cried for most of the day.  Then the next day I had an appointment to get photographed for our church's pictorial directory.  Should I cancel?  I decided to keep the date but told the photographer, "Be as quick as you can, my nephew was killed in Afghanistan yesterday and I'm on the edge of crying."  He was incredibly quick!

Westminster Abbey, London, England, November, 2008. Every year on November, the names of every British soldier killed in EVERY WAR are listed on boards.  Crosses with red poppies are placed in the lawn at Westminster Abbey.  Everyone in the entire country wears a poppy in remembrance.

England and the entire British Commonwealth also celebrates November 11 as "Remembrance Day."  Daughter #7, Marie, and I went to Remembrance Day in 2008 to the Army base and nearby town, Market Drayton, to honor Justin.  He had previously served in the U.S. Navy, then because his mother, Kathleen, was Irish, he enlisted in the Irish Regiment of the Royal Army.  Justin learned the Afghan language, Pashtu, in order to help the Afghan children; then he was killed by an I.E.D.

Justin and his bride, Vilma, before their wedding in her parents' home in Vilnius, Lithuania, July, 2006.  Justin is buried there.

What more can we do to celebrate Veterans Day?  Look at your TV schedule.  There's a concert tonight on HBO.  Perhaps your town has a parade.  There's a service at my church later which I'll attend.  Just thank God for these, Our TRUE HEROES!

And let's never forget: FREEDOM IS NOT FREE!

Boosting Up! #1: The "D" Word

There are many ways we can all help promote positive, not "twisted" relationships, and family values.  We don't have to look far!

One important value is the permanence of marriage.  While there may be a few couples in whom one or both of them think, before marriage, "Well, if it doesn't work out the way I expect, I'll get divorced," probably most couples getting married truly feel, "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, till death do us part, etc."  If there is talk between a couple of a pre-nuptial financial agreement, this signals that at least one of them is ready to bail out if the going gets tough.

Yet there is conflict is every marriage, sooner or later.  It must be dealt with honestly and lovingly.  There can be no accusations, no bringing up of past hurts or failed expectations.  But, most of all, it is disastrous to even mention the dreaded "D" word, divorce!  This changes the whole relationship.  Every husband and wife would do well to never, ever say the word in a heated argument.

IF one person brings up the topic of divorce, the other would do well do defuse the situation and get clarification.  "I really never want to even think of us not being married.  I love you!  Are you serious?  Just because I'm mad doesn't mean I don't love you with my whole heart!  Please never, never say "divorce" to me. We can always work out our problems."

Young couples in their first marriage could not know the devastating results of divorce on themselves, their children, and even on the community.  They may think that all their problems would be solved if they got divorced and could find someone more "compatible."  What they actually are looking for is a person who will let them continue to be an adolescent who wants someone to worship himself or herself and give in on everything.  This 'ain't' gonna happen!  Sooner or later (but not in all cases), the person will have to grow up and realize the necessity of giving of themselves,  not needing to "win" arguments.  Divorce doesn't solve personal immaturity problems: divorce creates other problems!

A couple seriously considering divorcing should also consider: what if my spouse has a girlfriend or boyfriend?  Would I trust them with my children?  What if my spouse remarries and the children have to spend weekends with someone I disapprove of or positively despise?  What if my spouse withholds child support?  What bills would I choose not to pay in order to buy groceries?  What if my spouse reneges on an agreement to care for the children when I work?  Could I get a sitter at the last moment?  Questions, questions!  The list of problems for divorced couples seems to be infinite!  Avoid it before the process begins!

Engaged couples would be wise to contemplate the words of St. Paul in the Bible, 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13: "Love is patient, love is kind.  It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.  It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails." Married couples would be wise to also contemplate these words.  Was there ever a more beautiful definition of love?

Dear Lord, we know there are and have been many enduring marriages, those that last "till death do us part."  We ask You to give husbands and wives the love and the courage to get through the difficult times so they can enjoy the wonderful times!

True Hope

This bright and early Sunday morning, I am Full of Hope!  For one thing, yesterday I consulted my gardening expert/friend, Florence, about how I could possibly get my tall, healthy poinsettia to bloom. She advised, "Well, I've never had one live past March.  You're supposed to put it in the dark from the first of November on, and maybe it will bloom by Christmas.  Water it once in a while."  That's exactly what I've done: put it in a closet.  I've always killed the beautiful, red-blooming plants by overwatering, as my brother, Don, analyzed.  He lives in Florida, has a poinsettia as big as a bush, and, basically, neglects it.  He says not to water it until it is dry, at least one inch down in the soil around it.  And I have - and it has lived for one whole year!

If my poinsettia blooms before or around Christmas, you will know!

On another level, I'm even full of more hope - hope that, as a nation, AMERICA WILL SURVIVE!  Let me explain.  This morning I saw on the news a brief story about a teacher from the State of California, U.S.A.  Rebecca Fredericks spoke about the activities of the California teachers' union, which include advancing their ultra-liberal agenda and having nothing to do with helping either the children or teachers of California.  I greatly admire her for having the guts to speak out against injustice.  Many people would be too afraid or too lazy or too apathetic to stand up and expose anything which is evil.

The Republican victories in the national election last week has my hope for America confirmed and soaring!  Several years ago, I heard former Republican presidential primary (1996) candidate, Pat Buchanan pronounce that there is a "tipping point" in the immorality of a civilization, a cultural atmosphere in which the nation will implode from within, due to the blatant immorality of its citizens.  The election of Obama proved his point, that too many Americans just want handouts and don't care what anyone else deserves, for good or evil.

In 2008, when I heard Obama, as a presidential candidate, say that he supported abortion-on-demand, I knew I could never vote for him.  He was the only Illinois legislator in favor of late-term abortions. When asked on the TV News show "60 Minutes" concerning how the nation would pay for all his grandiose plans, he replied (after ignoring the question twice), "That's not important."  I knew that was another reason to vote for anyone else, even Mickey Mouse!!

So disturbed was I about the possibility that such a candidate as Obama could be elected, I prayed and fasted for six weeks before the election.  And then Obama was elected president of these United States.  I was in shock!  I prayed to God, "How could this possibly happen?  What good could ever come from such a man?"

For over two years, I prayed.  Then I received, in my heart, an answer: "This will bring out all the evil in the country."  And, indeed, it has.  You know how our country has been rocked with news of scandal after scandal in the Obama administration!

But I never gave up hope.  I didn't believe that America would go the way of Greece, Rome, Persia, and other 'failed' civilizations.  The last election confirmed this hope: we are going to take back the 'goodness' of America!  There will not be blatant corruption!

Several days before the election, I received a piece of mail from the Republican Party of Kentucky.

Please look at this from the side.  If the blog permits photo editing, I haven't discovered it (sorry!).  Candidate Obama gave wonderful speeches about hope.  Few people have discovered what that means as our economy has faltered and our country is the laughing stock of the world!

The same photo, turned to the side, this is the newly-defeated Kentucky Democratic Senatorial candidate, Alison Lundergan Grimes, who lost by a landslide to Senator Mitch McConnell, whose name was not even mentioned in this piece of mail.

The very, very Democratic State of Kentucky voted in the Republican nominee, McConnell, by a landslide, in a giant rejection of liberalism, the pro-death agenda, and pro-government spending us into an unmanageable debt from Obama!  Yes, I am brimming over with hope now!!

Several months following Obama's first election, I heard from several different news sources that the FBI was targeting "Right to Life" groups in Wisconsin for investigation, calling them "subversive."  Then, in another Obama administration scandal, we found out our phone records were kept, conversations were recorded, and internet communication was monitored.  I will admit to being afraid.  I made doubly sure that "Obama" or "government" was not in any of my conversations or e-mails.

So what's changed?:  Me!  I've given up being afraid and will say my piece.  I doubt if a "small fish" like me would be noticed. But if I'm wrong, I will still speak up against injustice, wherever I can.

What is a priority?:  Pro-Life and Pro-Family issues.  The American family is being torn apart from every section.  We have to work together to support families and children.  I'm not exactly sure what that will involve, but I'm starting by working full-steam on my relationship book.

What about you?  Are you a "fence-sitter?"  Do you hope the problems will go away on their own?  What might you do to be a part of the solution?

Lord, thank You abundantly for shedding Your grace on America, the Land of the Free, the Hope of the World!  Thank You for energizing me!  I know you will send me where I need to go to help bring about a Country of Hope for all our families!

What Might Have Been

My dear Grandpa was in his living room watching the Miss America Pageant on TV.  He was enjoying it very much (Grandpa passed away in 1974, so you know how long ago this happened!).  I was sitting there with him, twenty years old, in college, newly engaged to marry, visiting Grandpa and Grandma.

Then Grandpa commented, "Janice, I've always wished that was you up there on the stage.  I can see you tickling the keys (playing the piano)!"  Then he chuckled.

That sent my brain spinning!  Grandpa, I thought, you are way too late!  I'm going to get married next summer, we want to have a family.  I wish you would have told me this when I was fifteen or sixteen years old, when I could have actually worked toward it.

I have not thought of that moment until now.  I wonder if Grandpa had actually suggested to me when I was younger that I might be talented enough to enter the Miss America competition, I would have worked toward it.

As for the musical ability, I probably had enough talent to improve and be capable of the competition.  It was suggested that I try for a music scholarship to St. Mary-of-the-Woods College in Indiana.  By my senior year in high school, I had been deeply immersed in playing the organ for various churches.  I enjoyed it, and it provided a source of extra income beside babysitting.  I had won a piano competition, state-wide, my junior year and had played on stage (with 39 other pianists!) with the popular pianist and TV star, Liberace (if you remember this, you are no spring chicken!!) at the Kentucky State Fair.  I knew who won the scholarship the previous year and, true or not, I thought I was a much better organist!  But I didn't even bother applying to St. Mary-of-the-Woods for the scholarship.

Had I known then that St. Mary-of-the-Woods College, a women-only school, was in very close proximity to the all-male school, Notre Dame, there's not a doubt in my mind that I would have applied!  My life definitely would have taken a different path than staying at home with my parents till I was married.  Can't go back, though.

As for the other part of the Miss America competition, a perfect body, I think I had the discipline for exercise.  But I didn't (and still don't) feel that women should display their bodies in bathing suits, now extremely skimpy, for any kind of an audience.  That kind of "uncoveredness" is appropriate only while swimming or with one's spouse in the privacy of one's home.  Call me straight-laced, old-fashioned, or whatever you like, I felt that way then and I still do!

So, really, I conclude, even if Grandpa had encouraged me to enter the Miss America pageant when I was fifteen or sixteen, I would not have done it.

Looking back in our lives, I'm sure there are many 'paths' we could have taken.  Yet God has been and is in charge.  I feel - and I've personally seen this in evidence, as it has happened a few times - that God puts people in our life to help us and keeps people away from us that would hurt us.  Does this mean that if we have hard times or experience tragedies, that God is wrong?  No!  Whatever that happens to us is for our greater good, that we learn from our poor choices, but God brings good from them.

As for me, looking back, I am quite content with my life.  It has taken me many places I never could have predicted, nursing school for one.  My crowning achievement are my children, each and every one.  I could not be prouder of them and the fine persons that have become!  When I was a teenager, there was one thing I wanted more than anything: a large and happy family.  That happened! Had I been Miss America, my life would have been quite different!

Praise you, Lord, for allowing me to achieve my real dreams!  Please lead everyone else to know what they want, truly, for their good, and help them attain it!