Tick, Tock! Tick, Tock! Many unmarried women want children and find themselves well into their thirties. Biology tells them that the older they get, the less likely it is they will be able to get pregnant. A woman's fertility starts declining after age 25. Nowadays, beyond age 35, a pregnancy is considered "high risk." Although, up to this point in their lives, they have been extremely choosy with the men they date, now, all of a sudden, they're looking at men they would have formerly rejected.
There are several women in my acquaintance who have been in this situation. They have been fortunate to have had children within a year of their marriage. However, their marriages have not been happy.
Other women never found a man they wanted to marry. They seem at peace with their situations although they all report "pressure" from their mothers. As one mother of a forty-something lamented, "Yes, I'm very proud of her. She's had a wonderful career. But I won't be around forever. I wanted her to get married. I would like to know she has someone to take care of her."
This "Reason to Get Married" is similar to "Reason to Get Married, #3: Baby on the Way." Getting pregnant in hopes the man will marry you won't always work. And if you do get married, what will you both get: a spouse who doesn't have the morals of self-restraint who uses you for their own pleasure and doesn't care if sex will result in a child. Not an outstanding choice! This choice (I don't believe in 'accidental' pregnancies!) may result in an unwed mother either raising the child by herself, killing the child by abortion (what a disastrous option!!) or giving the child up for adoption.
If they can't find a suitable husband, some women want a child and opt to get pregnant by either a one-night-stand liason or by artificial insemination. I personally think this is extremely selfish. True, so many marriages end in divorce, but every child at least deserves a chance to have a father. Children aren't 'products' that everyone deserves just because they want them - they should be the result of the love between husband and wife!
Lord, your plan is best - ordered and blessed love in marriage may result in a new human, a baby! Help us do everything we can to promote loving families!
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Friday, May 30, 2014
Dampening Lessons
I have a new raspberry pink linen shirt I dearly love! But it's really hard to get it wrinkle-free. It's washable. If I machine-dry it, there's lots of small wrinkles and I have to iron it. If I hang it to dry, there are huge wrinkles that are harder to iron out. My steam iron is fairly new as is my Maytag washer and dryer. Please don't tell me to wear it with the wrinkles! Also, I hate to take things to the Dry Cleaners - they cost so much more that way. What to do. . . . .
All of you youngsters under age fifty probably don't remember the womanly ironing task years ago. In my house, mom and I would iron everything except towels and underwear. And each piece had to be dampened. That involved taking a glass soft drink bottle full of water with a device stuck in the top that resembled a cork with a metal cover full of holes. This way, everything could be quickly sprinkled, rolled up, stacked, covered with clean towels and set aside for several hours. Then the ironing (no steam iron) would be easier. We ironed for hours every week. It was hard to look neat with all natural fabrics but we managed it!
So today, I've dampened and ironed. I'm quite pleased with the results.
This brought to mind the movie, "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days," a real cute comedy. How does one DAMPEN relationships? Not answering the phone, not returning phone messages, declining invitations, being overly critical, sarcastic, or downright mean, looking like a bum when you shouldn't, the list could go on and on. Perhaps the better question would be: why would you want to dampen a relationship? Only if the other person is an absolute jerk!
It's a lot easier and quicker to dampen a friendship than it is to nurture it. It takes some thought, planning, and honest conversations to grow it. But it's SO WORTH IT! You won't regret going out of your way to help a friend!
Lord God, we thank you for all our happy, beautiful, loving family and friends!
All of you youngsters under age fifty probably don't remember the womanly ironing task years ago. In my house, mom and I would iron everything except towels and underwear. And each piece had to be dampened. That involved taking a glass soft drink bottle full of water with a device stuck in the top that resembled a cork with a metal cover full of holes. This way, everything could be quickly sprinkled, rolled up, stacked, covered with clean towels and set aside for several hours. Then the ironing (no steam iron) would be easier. We ironed for hours every week. It was hard to look neat with all natural fabrics but we managed it!
So today, I've dampened and ironed. I'm quite pleased with the results.
This brought to mind the movie, "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days," a real cute comedy. How does one DAMPEN relationships? Not answering the phone, not returning phone messages, declining invitations, being overly critical, sarcastic, or downright mean, looking like a bum when you shouldn't, the list could go on and on. Perhaps the better question would be: why would you want to dampen a relationship? Only if the other person is an absolute jerk!
It's a lot easier and quicker to dampen a friendship than it is to nurture it. It takes some thought, planning, and honest conversations to grow it. But it's SO WORTH IT! You won't regret going out of your way to help a friend!
Lord God, we thank you for all our happy, beautiful, loving family and friends!
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Of Tigers and Keys
Did you see on the news today that certain men are trying to attract women on the internet by getting into cages with wild animals such as tigers and having their photos taken!!? They post the photos on dating websites, thinking they will be perceived as 'very masculine.' No one knows exactly how effective this is yet. Personally, it seems like a desperation measure to me!
Something else is news to me this week: a friend told me about a game that her then-husband wanted her to play many years ago, in 'hippie times.' It was called "The Key Game." Here's how it went. My friend went with her husband to a neighborhood home for what she thought would be a dinner party. After a meal, the group relaxed in the living room. Then all the men threw their housekeys onto the floor in the center of the room!! Several men picked up housekeys and took someone else's wife with them! My friend's then-husband told her to go home with this other man. She was absolutely horrified! She had no idea this would happen. She ran home by herself, crying, afraid. Her then-husband laughed. He didn't see what was wrong with her.
These situations, especially the last one, are examples of the depravity in relationships of which I wish I had never heard. I know of plenty of solid, lasting, very fulfilling marriages but you never hear about wholesomeness. But then, in the end, it doesn't matter what 'everybody else' is doing; we must satisfy our own consciences that we're trying our best to do the 'right thing,' and never exploit another person.
FYI: my friend's marriage didn't last long. This was only one of his evil, hurtful behaviors.
Lord, again we ask your help. Point out the red-flag warning behaviors in those who will lie to us and otherwise hurt us. Help us associate with those who are good for us, we pray.
Something else is news to me this week: a friend told me about a game that her then-husband wanted her to play many years ago, in 'hippie times.' It was called "The Key Game." Here's how it went. My friend went with her husband to a neighborhood home for what she thought would be a dinner party. After a meal, the group relaxed in the living room. Then all the men threw their housekeys onto the floor in the center of the room!! Several men picked up housekeys and took someone else's wife with them! My friend's then-husband told her to go home with this other man. She was absolutely horrified! She had no idea this would happen. She ran home by herself, crying, afraid. Her then-husband laughed. He didn't see what was wrong with her.
These situations, especially the last one, are examples of the depravity in relationships of which I wish I had never heard. I know of plenty of solid, lasting, very fulfilling marriages but you never hear about wholesomeness. But then, in the end, it doesn't matter what 'everybody else' is doing; we must satisfy our own consciences that we're trying our best to do the 'right thing,' and never exploit another person.
FYI: my friend's marriage didn't last long. This was only one of his evil, hurtful behaviors.
Lord, again we ask your help. Point out the red-flag warning behaviors in those who will lie to us and otherwise hurt us. Help us associate with those who are good for us, we pray.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Games, #3: The Sick Card
Game: a way of behaving that is predictable and has a payoff for the person playing it.
Probably most of us have known the classic hypochondriac: the person who is always having surgery or recovering from surgery, the person with vague symptoms who has tried for years to get disability payments and finally gets them. These are the people who then go out and buy new cars, the people with 'back problems' who help their friends move every time they're needed, the ones whom we suspect are healthier than we are.
One time I had a neighbor who walked fine inside his home but put on his leg brace when he went outside "In case someone from the Welfare Office was spying." On our hospital nursing unit, we had several patients who wanted (or demanded) cab vouchers to go home because they couldn't climb up on a bus. We'd ask them, "How'd you get here?" If they said, "I took the bus," the social worker wouldn't give them the cab voucher.
Jack missed every single family gathering for many years because he didn't "feel well enough to come," according to his long-suffering wife, Emily. Funny thing was that Emily got cancer, it turned out to be inoperable, and she died several months later. At her funeral, Jack looked very well, strong actually, and cried how much he missed her. What was Jack's payoff? The disability check. He has had no more surgeries since the payments started.
Jenny is a young woman who is learning to play the 'sick card.' In her late twenties, she hasn't worked for 3 1/2 years. How does she live? She sponges off relatives who feel sorry for her. And she pretends to be depressed. Various family members have paid for many medical tests and many different kinds of medicines which Jenny never takes because she doesn't like the way they make her feel. Her payoff: she gets to sit around and play computer games all day, every day.
Lance was a different sort of sick person. He actually has asthma but has never fully followed the doctor's instructions. He hasn't worked in nearly fifteen years. If asked why he doesn't work, Lance says, "I have asthma." Now how many folks do you know that work, even are world-class athletes, with asthma? The inhalers these days are wonderfully effective. Lance's relatives also take pity on him. Lance's payoff: people wait on him hand and foot because he 'might have an attack.'
In "Behavioral Influences in Healthcare," a nursing psychology class, we were taught about the 'sick role.' A usually healthy person gets sick. He or she is expected to 1) do what the doctor says, 2) rest, then 3) get back to normal and take over usual responsibilities. Problems begin when the sick person likes being relieved of his/her responsibilities and decides to prolong time off by manipulating someone else. This is very hard on the person doing double-duty.
To really play a 'game,' it takes two people, minimum, the 'sick' person, and the 'rescuer.' This is really a strange game! Sometimes the sick person decides it would be better just to get up and work. But the rescuer likes being important and telling the sick person what to do. The newly recovered person needs to stand up and say, "I appreciate your doing all the house cleaning or balancing the checkbook or shopping (or whatever), now I'm able so I'll be doing it again.
Every one of us has had to take time off to recover from an illness. Then we improve and get back to Life without another thought. If you feel you are being 'played' by a person using the 'sick card,' get the perspective of several other persons. You may need to confront the player and set ground rules: "Your doctor says you are fully recovered. As of -----, I'll no longer be bringing you groceries." You may be doing the person a big favor by encouraging (or by insisting on) independence.
Other Games explored in this blog were Game #1: "Job Seeking," February 10, 2014, and Game #2, "Poor Little Me," March 11, 2014.
Lord, we pray, please give us compassion for all those who are sick, and please help them fully recover!
Probably most of us have known the classic hypochondriac: the person who is always having surgery or recovering from surgery, the person with vague symptoms who has tried for years to get disability payments and finally gets them. These are the people who then go out and buy new cars, the people with 'back problems' who help their friends move every time they're needed, the ones whom we suspect are healthier than we are.
One time I had a neighbor who walked fine inside his home but put on his leg brace when he went outside "In case someone from the Welfare Office was spying." On our hospital nursing unit, we had several patients who wanted (or demanded) cab vouchers to go home because they couldn't climb up on a bus. We'd ask them, "How'd you get here?" If they said, "I took the bus," the social worker wouldn't give them the cab voucher.
Jack missed every single family gathering for many years because he didn't "feel well enough to come," according to his long-suffering wife, Emily. Funny thing was that Emily got cancer, it turned out to be inoperable, and she died several months later. At her funeral, Jack looked very well, strong actually, and cried how much he missed her. What was Jack's payoff? The disability check. He has had no more surgeries since the payments started.
Jenny is a young woman who is learning to play the 'sick card.' In her late twenties, she hasn't worked for 3 1/2 years. How does she live? She sponges off relatives who feel sorry for her. And she pretends to be depressed. Various family members have paid for many medical tests and many different kinds of medicines which Jenny never takes because she doesn't like the way they make her feel. Her payoff: she gets to sit around and play computer games all day, every day.
Lance was a different sort of sick person. He actually has asthma but has never fully followed the doctor's instructions. He hasn't worked in nearly fifteen years. If asked why he doesn't work, Lance says, "I have asthma." Now how many folks do you know that work, even are world-class athletes, with asthma? The inhalers these days are wonderfully effective. Lance's relatives also take pity on him. Lance's payoff: people wait on him hand and foot because he 'might have an attack.'
In "Behavioral Influences in Healthcare," a nursing psychology class, we were taught about the 'sick role.' A usually healthy person gets sick. He or she is expected to 1) do what the doctor says, 2) rest, then 3) get back to normal and take over usual responsibilities. Problems begin when the sick person likes being relieved of his/her responsibilities and decides to prolong time off by manipulating someone else. This is very hard on the person doing double-duty.
To really play a 'game,' it takes two people, minimum, the 'sick' person, and the 'rescuer.' This is really a strange game! Sometimes the sick person decides it would be better just to get up and work. But the rescuer likes being important and telling the sick person what to do. The newly recovered person needs to stand up and say, "I appreciate your doing all the house cleaning or balancing the checkbook or shopping (or whatever), now I'm able so I'll be doing it again.
Every one of us has had to take time off to recover from an illness. Then we improve and get back to Life without another thought. If you feel you are being 'played' by a person using the 'sick card,' get the perspective of several other persons. You may need to confront the player and set ground rules: "Your doctor says you are fully recovered. As of -----, I'll no longer be bringing you groceries." You may be doing the person a big favor by encouraging (or by insisting on) independence.
Other Games explored in this blog were Game #1: "Job Seeking," February 10, 2014, and Game #2, "Poor Little Me," March 11, 2014.
Lord, we pray, please give us compassion for all those who are sick, and please help them fully recover!
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Two Work Enemies
Leah tells us about two different situations where she worked that greatly distressed her when they happened. First, there was Gabby, the new woman who only wanted to do the bare minimum. Everyone else was dedicated to serving the customers but Gabby just put in her time and watched the clock. Gabby comments, "We thought she was a bit arrogant and just a cold fish." Since Leah was the supervisor, she debated whether or not just to tell Gabby, "It's just not working out. Your last day will be .... ." But she decided that since Gabby was, in fact, very talented and reliable, she'd give her a few more weeks.
Gradually, Gabby blossomed into one of the most hard-working and faithful people Leah ever knew. Several years later, Gabby moved to a distant state and the two remain friends.
The other situation involves the time when Leah quit a job years ago and gave all her notes to the guy who replaced her, Len. Len was not Mr. Personality, but he was OK, except that the bosses paid Len much more than Leah earned there. Maybe it was that which bothered Leah but she came to dislike Len on the rare occasions she encountered him.
She ran into Len one time and queried him about the notes: "Len, did my notes help you at all?" "Oh, no, not a bit. I just threw them out," he flippantly stated. Leah didn't say a word but boiled inside. Even though she probably could never again use them herself, they were such an important part of her life! She was mad at herself for not copying them first. No one knew how Leah felt about Len. She didn't want to undermine Len's relationships with her old friends at her old job.
As luck would have it, Leah accidentally ended up at a banquet beside Len. "Oh, ---," she thought, "Well, I'll just be cool and see what's going on."
As they all chatted at the table, between bites of the great dinner, Leah found herself liking Len. She couldn't believe that he was really a nice person! She forgave him, in her heart, for doing something he never knew offended her. And, to her surprise, Leah and Len became friends.
It's hard to give folks a second chance after a disastrous first impression. Looking back, Leah realized that the reason she didn't like Gabby and also Len was not due to any deficiency on their part. Gabby just had "new girl jitters" and perhaps was a little shy. Once Leah gave Len the notes, it was his property. She should have copied them first. Let's get mad at the right people - maybe even ourselves! (and let's not take out those bad feelings on anyone!)
Lord, please help us not be judgmental about anyone we meet. We know we shouldn't pre-judge, or be prejudiced about folks! Help us hold our tongues, like Granny admonished, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything!!"
Gradually, Gabby blossomed into one of the most hard-working and faithful people Leah ever knew. Several years later, Gabby moved to a distant state and the two remain friends.
The other situation involves the time when Leah quit a job years ago and gave all her notes to the guy who replaced her, Len. Len was not Mr. Personality, but he was OK, except that the bosses paid Len much more than Leah earned there. Maybe it was that which bothered Leah but she came to dislike Len on the rare occasions she encountered him.
She ran into Len one time and queried him about the notes: "Len, did my notes help you at all?" "Oh, no, not a bit. I just threw them out," he flippantly stated. Leah didn't say a word but boiled inside. Even though she probably could never again use them herself, they were such an important part of her life! She was mad at herself for not copying them first. No one knew how Leah felt about Len. She didn't want to undermine Len's relationships with her old friends at her old job.
As luck would have it, Leah accidentally ended up at a banquet beside Len. "Oh, ---," she thought, "Well, I'll just be cool and see what's going on."
As they all chatted at the table, between bites of the great dinner, Leah found herself liking Len. She couldn't believe that he was really a nice person! She forgave him, in her heart, for doing something he never knew offended her. And, to her surprise, Leah and Len became friends.
It's hard to give folks a second chance after a disastrous first impression. Looking back, Leah realized that the reason she didn't like Gabby and also Len was not due to any deficiency on their part. Gabby just had "new girl jitters" and perhaps was a little shy. Once Leah gave Len the notes, it was his property. She should have copied them first. Let's get mad at the right people - maybe even ourselves! (and let's not take out those bad feelings on anyone!)
Lord, please help us not be judgmental about anyone we meet. We know we shouldn't pre-judge, or be prejudiced about folks! Help us hold our tongues, like Granny admonished, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything!!"
Monday, May 26, 2014
She Made My Day
All of us adults have lived 'before' something was invented. Our children will always think we must have lived back in the days of Cave Men and Women and Cave Children! In my case, my family bought our first television when I was 8 years old.
Young people don't know how us old folks lived before there was air conditioning! And there's so many more things that were new. How did we live before computers? Or I-phones?
Today I was chatting with an 8-year-old who had never heard of a cassette tape recorder. Fast forward? What's that? It was so cute, it really made my day!
Another benefit of living 'before' is the togetherness with those of our contemporaries. Today I was talking with an older person of how we didn't know any different during the hottest part of the summers. In Kentucky, U.S.A., there was always a week or two in August during which the temperatures were over 100 degrees. What did we do? We sat around in a dark room and sipped icy drinks during those days. We had big 36-inch window fans which usually did a fairly good job of cooling the whole house. You had to keep the windows open a few inches on the non-sunny side of the house for circulation of cooler air. It worked! But those big fan motors were noisy! It sounded like a plane was landing in your house when you turned it up to 'high!'
I drove all over town today: at 10:00, I went to Church for the Memorial Day service. I was so thrilled to sing all the patriotic songs, ending with "America, the Beautiful!" At 11:00, I went to brunch with a friend. At 3:00, there was a cookout-birthday party for my favorite 14-year-old granddaughter. With all the friends, there were a lot of girl giggles!
There's our connection with the past, and we didn't even realize it: the Cave People 'grilled out' for all their meals!
Lord in Heaven, today we thank you for all our fun, being able to take a whole day to remember those who gave their lives so we could enjoy freedom, and think of new blessings.
Young people don't know how us old folks lived before there was air conditioning! And there's so many more things that were new. How did we live before computers? Or I-phones?
Today I was chatting with an 8-year-old who had never heard of a cassette tape recorder. Fast forward? What's that? It was so cute, it really made my day!
Another benefit of living 'before' is the togetherness with those of our contemporaries. Today I was talking with an older person of how we didn't know any different during the hottest part of the summers. In Kentucky, U.S.A., there was always a week or two in August during which the temperatures were over 100 degrees. What did we do? We sat around in a dark room and sipped icy drinks during those days. We had big 36-inch window fans which usually did a fairly good job of cooling the whole house. You had to keep the windows open a few inches on the non-sunny side of the house for circulation of cooler air. It worked! But those big fan motors were noisy! It sounded like a plane was landing in your house when you turned it up to 'high!'
I drove all over town today: at 10:00, I went to Church for the Memorial Day service. I was so thrilled to sing all the patriotic songs, ending with "America, the Beautiful!" At 11:00, I went to brunch with a friend. At 3:00, there was a cookout-birthday party for my favorite 14-year-old granddaughter. With all the friends, there were a lot of girl giggles!
There's our connection with the past, and we didn't even realize it: the Cave People 'grilled out' for all their meals!
Lord in Heaven, today we thank you for all our fun, being able to take a whole day to remember those who gave their lives so we could enjoy freedom, and think of new blessings.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Hardly Ever
Although I don't care to know the details of wars and battles and weapons, I love to study History, particularly American History. I like to know the people and forces that shaped the forming of our singularly greatest country the world has ever known. I think I should know about what caused the downfall of other prominent countries in the past. But I'll admit to hardly ever, mainly on holidays like Memorial Day, thinking about the men and women who serve us now and all our veterans.
So I'd just like to dedicate this blog today to a fallen hero who gave it all, his life, to the cause of freedom in Afghanistan, my nephew, Justin. Justin was the eldest of three, with one younger sister, Adrianna, and one younger brother, Cieran. He was well aware of military life growing up as my brother, Don, was a career Navy man. After Don retired from the Navy and worked internationally, the family lived in Ireland, the home of Justin's mother, Kathleen. That made Justin both an American citizen and an Irish citizen.
Justin served six years in the United States Navy, having duty in the Iraq zone. Returning to Ireland, Justin met and married a beautiful young woman from Lithuania, Vilma (their wedding in Vilnius, Lithuania, was nothing short of spectacular - lasting two days!). Thereby, Justin also became a citizen of Lithuania. Vilma was a language specialist and spoke five languages.
Justin wanted to help the children of Afghanistan and learned their language, "Pashto." He enlisted in the Irish Regiment of the Royal British Army. He was sent to Afghanistan. At that time, his brother, Cieran, was serving in the U.S. Army in Iraq. Justin was on a mission and was killed by an IED in September, 2008.
I cannot convey to you how devastating this has been to our family! Although we always worry and pray for those in our family on active duty, no one was ever killed! We have all coped; it has not been easy.
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE!
Lord God, help us remember all those who serve all countries in their military. We believe you "shed your grace" on the land of America. Guide our government to maintain our freedom. Comfort military families and help us support them. Somehow, we have to stop the killing! Especially watch over my son-in-law, Fielding, now serving in the U.S. Navy Submarine Service. We thank you!
So I'd just like to dedicate this blog today to a fallen hero who gave it all, his life, to the cause of freedom in Afghanistan, my nephew, Justin. Justin was the eldest of three, with one younger sister, Adrianna, and one younger brother, Cieran. He was well aware of military life growing up as my brother, Don, was a career Navy man. After Don retired from the Navy and worked internationally, the family lived in Ireland, the home of Justin's mother, Kathleen. That made Justin both an American citizen and an Irish citizen.
Justin served six years in the United States Navy, having duty in the Iraq zone. Returning to Ireland, Justin met and married a beautiful young woman from Lithuania, Vilma (their wedding in Vilnius, Lithuania, was nothing short of spectacular - lasting two days!). Thereby, Justin also became a citizen of Lithuania. Vilma was a language specialist and spoke five languages.
Justin wanted to help the children of Afghanistan and learned their language, "Pashto." He enlisted in the Irish Regiment of the Royal British Army. He was sent to Afghanistan. At that time, his brother, Cieran, was serving in the U.S. Army in Iraq. Justin was on a mission and was killed by an IED in September, 2008.
I cannot convey to you how devastating this has been to our family! Although we always worry and pray for those in our family on active duty, no one was ever killed! We have all coped; it has not been easy.
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE!
Lord God, help us remember all those who serve all countries in their military. We believe you "shed your grace" on the land of America. Guide our government to maintain our freedom. Comfort military families and help us support them. Somehow, we have to stop the killing! Especially watch over my son-in-law, Fielding, now serving in the U.S. Navy Submarine Service. We thank you!
Saturday, May 24, 2014
The Basement Children
There were two of them, a girl and a boy, from widely separated large urban areas of the United States, and they didn't know each other. They had something quite different in common, something different from all the other children they knew: they lived in a basement. And they came to hate it.
The girl was Amy. She was one of the "middle" children of a large family. Her father didn't believe in having any debt, not even for a car or for a house. When she was six years old, her father had saved enough money to buy a small lot and build a basement for the house they would someday have. The family lived in the basement. It was strange to have a house in the neighborhood that was not really a house, just a basement with a tar covering, but that's where the family lived. It was better than living in the basement of her grandparents' house.
The family lived in a part of the country that had a lot of snow in the winter. Most of the years, snow would cover the basement from October till May. Amy thought that they just lived underground, like a mole.
Amy would never bring a friend home, she was much too embarrassed. She soon decided that it was better to not have friends than to have them know where she lived. She grew to adulthood in the basement. She especially hated the little windows close to the ceiling where not much light would come into the dark rooms.
She was only 19 years old when she married a nice older man. She never had to live in a basement again. It was when her own children were small that Amy's father had saved enough to build the rest of his house. He never came to visit Amy and her family but Amy's mother visited them several times. Amy was my friend and I think she forgave her father for making her friendless in her growing-up years. She made her house the center of the neighborhood, a place where all her children's friends were welcome.
Bobby also lived in a basement but his history involved his parents getting divorced when he was a preschooler. Their dad never gave them any money. His mother worked hard as a waitress and the only thing she could afford for her three boys was a small basement apartment. The boys also were supremely embarrassed about where they lived. They also never brought anyone home to play.
Once Bobby's brother, Paul, brought home a high school girlfriend to visit. Paul waited till his landlady, who lived in the house upstairs, was gone. He brought the girl only to the upstairs and she thought that was where he lived.
Bobby was one of my high school boyfriends for a couple of months. He took me to meet his mother in the basement apartment once. I felt so sorry for him. It was so dark and so shabby. His mother looked so tiny and sickly. It's a small world. I found out much later that he married a girl from my school and was a quite successful businessman who died before he was fifty.
Amy is now also deceased. With the modern building codes, I doubt whether a situation like Amy's family living in a basement for many years could happen - fortunately! In Bobby's situation, the child support enforcement seems to be more effective; with more money, they could have lived in a more suitable house or apartment.
There are many other children who are so hurt by their family situations that they are afraid to bring anyone home with them. Many of my psychiatric patients had one or both parents who were alcoholics. The tragedy of this is immense. In this 21st century, there is a new threat: one or both of the parents could be drug addicts.
Everyone deserves a wonderful childhood. It is hard - but not impossible - to climb out of the pain of a difficult childhood. The wounds may heal but the scars remain.
We never know what burdens another may have endured; we never know what burdens another may be carrying now. Perhaps we need to be more gentle with one another.
Lord in heaven, we know that all the hard times we endure and all the good times we enjoy are meant to help us grow in wisdom so eventually we see that you are the Supreme Good who never changes, always loves us! Help us create a world where each and every one of your children and adults are cherished and nourished.
The girl was Amy. She was one of the "middle" children of a large family. Her father didn't believe in having any debt, not even for a car or for a house. When she was six years old, her father had saved enough money to buy a small lot and build a basement for the house they would someday have. The family lived in the basement. It was strange to have a house in the neighborhood that was not really a house, just a basement with a tar covering, but that's where the family lived. It was better than living in the basement of her grandparents' house.
The family lived in a part of the country that had a lot of snow in the winter. Most of the years, snow would cover the basement from October till May. Amy thought that they just lived underground, like a mole.
Amy would never bring a friend home, she was much too embarrassed. She soon decided that it was better to not have friends than to have them know where she lived. She grew to adulthood in the basement. She especially hated the little windows close to the ceiling where not much light would come into the dark rooms.
She was only 19 years old when she married a nice older man. She never had to live in a basement again. It was when her own children were small that Amy's father had saved enough to build the rest of his house. He never came to visit Amy and her family but Amy's mother visited them several times. Amy was my friend and I think she forgave her father for making her friendless in her growing-up years. She made her house the center of the neighborhood, a place where all her children's friends were welcome.
Bobby also lived in a basement but his history involved his parents getting divorced when he was a preschooler. Their dad never gave them any money. His mother worked hard as a waitress and the only thing she could afford for her three boys was a small basement apartment. The boys also were supremely embarrassed about where they lived. They also never brought anyone home to play.
Once Bobby's brother, Paul, brought home a high school girlfriend to visit. Paul waited till his landlady, who lived in the house upstairs, was gone. He brought the girl only to the upstairs and she thought that was where he lived.
Bobby was one of my high school boyfriends for a couple of months. He took me to meet his mother in the basement apartment once. I felt so sorry for him. It was so dark and so shabby. His mother looked so tiny and sickly. It's a small world. I found out much later that he married a girl from my school and was a quite successful businessman who died before he was fifty.
Amy is now also deceased. With the modern building codes, I doubt whether a situation like Amy's family living in a basement for many years could happen - fortunately! In Bobby's situation, the child support enforcement seems to be more effective; with more money, they could have lived in a more suitable house or apartment.
There are many other children who are so hurt by their family situations that they are afraid to bring anyone home with them. Many of my psychiatric patients had one or both parents who were alcoholics. The tragedy of this is immense. In this 21st century, there is a new threat: one or both of the parents could be drug addicts.
Everyone deserves a wonderful childhood. It is hard - but not impossible - to climb out of the pain of a difficult childhood. The wounds may heal but the scars remain.
We never know what burdens another may have endured; we never know what burdens another may be carrying now. Perhaps we need to be more gentle with one another.
Lord in heaven, we know that all the hard times we endure and all the good times we enjoy are meant to help us grow in wisdom so eventually we see that you are the Supreme Good who never changes, always loves us! Help us create a world where each and every one of your children and adults are cherished and nourished.
Friday, May 23, 2014
Cutting Corners
This afternoon, a car turning left in front of me nearly ran into me! It cut way into my lane and scared me severely! It started me thinking of the ways we can 'cut corners' on many things, not just car lanes.
Once I worked for a nursing home that 'cut corners,' trying to get cheaper supplies for their residents. They bought underpads for the beds that felt apart. The new pads were useless. As a result, the staff had to use two or three more pads to do the same job. Actually, the administration probably lost money as a result.
You've heard of building suppliers who 'cut corners' and use poor quality materials in their projects. There have been apartment buildings (in foreign countries) which collapse as a result of this shoddy practice.
Really, and let's get real, 'cutting corners' is cheating, pure and simple! Those who do it know they do it and hope they won't get caught. Cheating always hurts someone. I suppose we just need to be vigilant and make sure we're not victims.
Lord, if we're ever tempted to cheat, we ask you to let us know and give us the strength to resist!
Once I worked for a nursing home that 'cut corners,' trying to get cheaper supplies for their residents. They bought underpads for the beds that felt apart. The new pads were useless. As a result, the staff had to use two or three more pads to do the same job. Actually, the administration probably lost money as a result.
You've heard of building suppliers who 'cut corners' and use poor quality materials in their projects. There have been apartment buildings (in foreign countries) which collapse as a result of this shoddy practice.
Really, and let's get real, 'cutting corners' is cheating, pure and simple! Those who do it know they do it and hope they won't get caught. Cheating always hurts someone. I suppose we just need to be vigilant and make sure we're not victims.
Lord, if we're ever tempted to cheat, we ask you to let us know and give us the strength to resist!
Thursday, May 22, 2014
The Sour Old Woman
There's this short little, bent little, shriveled up little old lady with an unfriendly look on her face every time I've seen her. I see her here and there frequently. I never even got close enough to say, "Hi, how are you?" She just seemed to not notice me and I didn't want to bother her. She looked grumpy!
Today I ran into her again. I decided to take a chance and greet her, "Hi, are you doing OK?" Much to my surprise, she straightened up a little and smiled. She responded, "I'm doing OK, how about you?" We had a pleasant, short conversation and went our separate ways. Next time I'll have to ask her name!
I try to be friendly to everyone yet not intrusive. Sometime's it hard to walk that line. But I figure, all they can do is ignore me - so what? I know some folks are shy and would like to be approached.
My dear dad, Reuben, was my model for friendliness. He could strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere - and did! My mother was reserved and shy. She wouldn't think of talking with a stranger. But dad was like a warm glow everywhere he went. How I miss them!
I worry about young people. They seem to just stay with their own friends and put down the other kids. What else can we do except be good models? Perhaps parents with children at home could specifically talk with them about not forgetting the shy kid that's always alone. I think it must be some of those 'alone' kids that end up so hurt by rejection that reach their limits and start hurting others, sometimes fatally.
When I was in grade school there was an unwritten rule: if you have a birthday party, you invite each and every person in the class. My mom allowed me to have birthday parties both in the 7th and in the 8th grade. It was so fun - nothing fancy - but fun!
Shortly thereafter, one of the girls had a birthday party and didn't invite me. She was nasty enough to tell me, "I didn't invite you because I don't like you." It really didn't bother me all that much. The other girls heard that I wasn't invited and told her they wouldn't go either. So then she invited me! I had to consider: should I go when I obviously wasn't wanted? I decided I would go and ended up having a good time. Kids!!
As a young mother, I couldn't help but notice that there was one older lady in church that all the other ladies avoided (in church, yet!!). They tolerated her at church but would never invite her anywhere. I wondered what was wrong with her. Sue was from 'the north' and a bit rough looking and sometimes unkempt. She invited me to her house. I went, with my youngest child in tow, and we had a good time. Sue had a lovely home in a nice neighborhood in town. It was perfectly clean but she was sad. Her husband had left her and her other children were grown and living out-of-town. After several years of friendship, Sue confided in me that one of the 'fine' ladies at church wouldn't even look at her when they passed on the street. My heart went out to her!
What if you were one of those 'loners?' What if you were one of the sad ones, perhaps depressed over a recent loss? Wouldn't you like to see a smiling face? We need to be very careful that there's no one who feels left out!
And I need to be more aware that just because someone looks grumpy doesn't mean that he or she is grumpy! I need to be careful not to pre-judge.
Lord, guide us and help us spread your love to all we meet! Help us warm the lonely heart and lift a burden, if we can.
Today I ran into her again. I decided to take a chance and greet her, "Hi, are you doing OK?" Much to my surprise, she straightened up a little and smiled. She responded, "I'm doing OK, how about you?" We had a pleasant, short conversation and went our separate ways. Next time I'll have to ask her name!
I try to be friendly to everyone yet not intrusive. Sometime's it hard to walk that line. But I figure, all they can do is ignore me - so what? I know some folks are shy and would like to be approached.
My dear dad, Reuben, was my model for friendliness. He could strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere - and did! My mother was reserved and shy. She wouldn't think of talking with a stranger. But dad was like a warm glow everywhere he went. How I miss them!
I worry about young people. They seem to just stay with their own friends and put down the other kids. What else can we do except be good models? Perhaps parents with children at home could specifically talk with them about not forgetting the shy kid that's always alone. I think it must be some of those 'alone' kids that end up so hurt by rejection that reach their limits and start hurting others, sometimes fatally.
When I was in grade school there was an unwritten rule: if you have a birthday party, you invite each and every person in the class. My mom allowed me to have birthday parties both in the 7th and in the 8th grade. It was so fun - nothing fancy - but fun!
Shortly thereafter, one of the girls had a birthday party and didn't invite me. She was nasty enough to tell me, "I didn't invite you because I don't like you." It really didn't bother me all that much. The other girls heard that I wasn't invited and told her they wouldn't go either. So then she invited me! I had to consider: should I go when I obviously wasn't wanted? I decided I would go and ended up having a good time. Kids!!
As a young mother, I couldn't help but notice that there was one older lady in church that all the other ladies avoided (in church, yet!!). They tolerated her at church but would never invite her anywhere. I wondered what was wrong with her. Sue was from 'the north' and a bit rough looking and sometimes unkempt. She invited me to her house. I went, with my youngest child in tow, and we had a good time. Sue had a lovely home in a nice neighborhood in town. It was perfectly clean but she was sad. Her husband had left her and her other children were grown and living out-of-town. After several years of friendship, Sue confided in me that one of the 'fine' ladies at church wouldn't even look at her when they passed on the street. My heart went out to her!
What if you were one of those 'loners?' What if you were one of the sad ones, perhaps depressed over a recent loss? Wouldn't you like to see a smiling face? We need to be very careful that there's no one who feels left out!
And I need to be more aware that just because someone looks grumpy doesn't mean that he or she is grumpy! I need to be careful not to pre-judge.
Lord, guide us and help us spread your love to all we meet! Help us warm the lonely heart and lift a burden, if we can.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Behind the Scenes
Yesterday I had the privilege of working at one of our neighborhood polling places for the Kentucky Primary Election. Voter turnout was a disappointing 22% of those registered both at our county level and in the precinct where I worked. I'm mentioning this experience for several reasons.
1) Without a doubt, the voting process could not be fairer or more efficient. In my county, Fayette County in Kentucky, U. S. A., there are 292 precincts. No one has to go outside his or her neighborhood to vote. Polls are open from 6 a.m. till 6 p.m. Lines to wait, when there were lines, were very short. The last voter in line at 6 p.m. is guaranteed to vote, no matter how long it takes. In each precinct are four workers to help voters. There are two from each major political party. Electioneering (trying to influence voters) is not permitted within 300 feet of the voting place.
2) Working or volunteering for a political party or at the polls is a great way to meet some really nice people! Each and every person I encountered was extremely friendly and helpful. Our polling place was in a school gymnasium. Even the school employees were outstanding in going out of their way to help us. School in Kentucky is not in session on Election Days.
3) You may want to re-think your attitude about politics if you think all politicians are crooks. This was the first election in which I actually knew two of the folks running for office. They are the very best you could find, both successful lawyers who know the law well. Several of the voters were chatting and mentioned, "Those who don't bother to vote need to shut-up about the issues!"
4) This would be a great time to register to vote, if you're not registered already! Have your voice count! Call the County Clerk's office. Your taxes pay their salaries: make them work! Be patriotic! Keep America the land of the Free!
Lord, sometimes we need to remember the sacrifice of all those who created our free country, who died to keep us free. We are asked to do so little to keep democracy continuing in America - just see who's running for elections and choose among them. Please inspire patriotism in all of us!
1) Without a doubt, the voting process could not be fairer or more efficient. In my county, Fayette County in Kentucky, U. S. A., there are 292 precincts. No one has to go outside his or her neighborhood to vote. Polls are open from 6 a.m. till 6 p.m. Lines to wait, when there were lines, were very short. The last voter in line at 6 p.m. is guaranteed to vote, no matter how long it takes. In each precinct are four workers to help voters. There are two from each major political party. Electioneering (trying to influence voters) is not permitted within 300 feet of the voting place.
2) Working or volunteering for a political party or at the polls is a great way to meet some really nice people! Each and every person I encountered was extremely friendly and helpful. Our polling place was in a school gymnasium. Even the school employees were outstanding in going out of their way to help us. School in Kentucky is not in session on Election Days.
3) You may want to re-think your attitude about politics if you think all politicians are crooks. This was the first election in which I actually knew two of the folks running for office. They are the very best you could find, both successful lawyers who know the law well. Several of the voters were chatting and mentioned, "Those who don't bother to vote need to shut-up about the issues!"
4) This would be a great time to register to vote, if you're not registered already! Have your voice count! Call the County Clerk's office. Your taxes pay their salaries: make them work! Be patriotic! Keep America the land of the Free!
Lord, sometimes we need to remember the sacrifice of all those who created our free country, who died to keep us free. We are asked to do so little to keep democracy continuing in America - just see who's running for elections and choose among them. Please inspire patriotism in all of us!
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Picky?
As of this minute, I'm embarking on a personal campaign to try lots of new foods to eat. My incentive: I visited an old friend recently hospitalized. Due to a trip to the emergency room in the middle of the night, not eating for a whole day due to waiting for surgery, then another day for surgery and recovery, she had not eaten for more than two days. The hospital then brought her food she had ordered, but it was not cooked to her satisfaction, so she didn't eat. This happened for two more meals. Yes, she drank the protein shakes but that is not nearly enough for an older woman of slight build. I brought her the specific breakfast bars she craved. I'm no hero, just her old friend.
But seeing her debilitated condition and dislike of so many foods shocked me into making sure I would never become so 'picky.' I want to be able to survive on nearly anything.
We in America have nearly unlimited choices when it comes to everything, especially food. No wonder most of us are overweight (I include myself, for the moment). Of course, I didn't grow up during World War II rationing nor did I grow up in the lean years of the Great Depression. But I was made to eat whatever was put on my plate because the starving children in China would be glad to have it.
I see so many families with children and teen who have very poor eating habits that include only a few favorite foods. Thank McDonald's for their chicken nuggets! If it wasn't for them and peanut butter, I think many of our children would eat no protein at all.
Not all that long ago I experienced a year with four surgeries for kidney problems. I found myself so worn out physically and mentally, basically, I just pampered myself and withdrew into a cocoon of limited foods and activities - only what I really liked. A friend of mine saw where I was headed and gently told me, "You shouldn't pamper yourself so much. Push yourself." His kind advice jolted me into realize what I was doing and where I was headed: into even worse health. So I changed and slowly regained really good health. I wish I could inspire my newly hospitalized friend to that extent!
Lord, all I ask today is to help me get far, far away from being a picky eater and lazy exerciser!
But seeing her debilitated condition and dislike of so many foods shocked me into making sure I would never become so 'picky.' I want to be able to survive on nearly anything.
We in America have nearly unlimited choices when it comes to everything, especially food. No wonder most of us are overweight (I include myself, for the moment). Of course, I didn't grow up during World War II rationing nor did I grow up in the lean years of the Great Depression. But I was made to eat whatever was put on my plate because the starving children in China would be glad to have it.
I see so many families with children and teen who have very poor eating habits that include only a few favorite foods. Thank McDonald's for their chicken nuggets! If it wasn't for them and peanut butter, I think many of our children would eat no protein at all.
Not all that long ago I experienced a year with four surgeries for kidney problems. I found myself so worn out physically and mentally, basically, I just pampered myself and withdrew into a cocoon of limited foods and activities - only what I really liked. A friend of mine saw where I was headed and gently told me, "You shouldn't pamper yourself so much. Push yourself." His kind advice jolted me into realize what I was doing and where I was headed: into even worse health. So I changed and slowly regained really good health. I wish I could inspire my newly hospitalized friend to that extent!
Lord, all I ask today is to help me get far, far away from being a picky eater and lazy exerciser!
Monday, May 19, 2014
Mud, #1: Wants
Switching TV channels this morning, I saw a short scene from a house-hunting show. The man said, "Well, we have to have that third bedroom. I want my own home office." Somehow, in the time of a generation or two, we have morphed into this nation - as have others of our kind - who never, hardly ever consider what we NEED. How did this happen? Are we so rich that we can collectively satisfy our every whim? Or are we so spoiled that we attempt to satisfy what we need at every moment? Can we afford to satisfy these desires? Do we ever "make do" with what we have?
Last night I watched a PBS show on how the real Mr. Harry Gordon Selfridge, an American who went to London, England, and created the most well-know department store in London, changed the culture by making SHOPPING a PASTTIME. This happened over a hundred years ago. He singlehandedly made the advertising industry an entity that created desires (mainly in women) to buy his products, in his store. Selfridge was wildly successful and also wildly self-indulgent.
Before Mr. Selfridge, women went shopping (with a chaperone, of course), to buy what they needed. After his store's promotions, women went shopping to see what was available and if they wanted it. The store became a destination where women could go by themselves and shop with other women.
FYI: Selfridge's Department Store was the first store to have Women's Restrooms. Before that, women had to go home!
Collectively, we are so beguiled by this culture of buy, buy, buy! we are no longer aware of it. This MUD of the 'wants' shopping atmosphere clings to us and influences our time, our choices, and puts us into debt before we're even aware of it. I remember learning in Psychology 101 how the advertisers know so much about how to display every kind of merchandise to target every kind of shopper, that we want to buy their products. This is our muddy 'want' shopping aura that we need to be aware of and resist, for our own financial health and peace of mind.
The ultimate consumers are the hoarders, pathological, diseased people who just buy and keep satisfy their anxieties for a short moment. They have very little knowledge of their problem, just that they are 'collectors.' Yet they create misery for the rest of us who have to, at times, clean up their messes in storage buildings, attics, etc.
This Mud of Wants is so pervasive that I don't see a 'system' fix on the horizon. In a free enterprise, it's up to each individual to choose wisely. We will just have to be responsible for ourselves and for electing officials who won't give away America!
Lord, you have blessed us with abundance in every way. Sometimes it's hard to avoid spoiling ourselves. Help us be wise in our shopping choices. After all, we want to save some and also have some to give to charity and church. Perhaps we should save, give to church and charity FIRST!
(p.s.: if you live in Kentucky, U.S.A., don't forget to VOTE tomorrow! And if my friends, Lavinia Spirito and Ray DeBolt are in your districts, know that they are the BEST people to be in government for us! Wouldn't it be fun to be a part of the best voter turnout we ever had in a primary election!
Last night I watched a PBS show on how the real Mr. Harry Gordon Selfridge, an American who went to London, England, and created the most well-know department store in London, changed the culture by making SHOPPING a PASTTIME. This happened over a hundred years ago. He singlehandedly made the advertising industry an entity that created desires (mainly in women) to buy his products, in his store. Selfridge was wildly successful and also wildly self-indulgent.
Before Mr. Selfridge, women went shopping (with a chaperone, of course), to buy what they needed. After his store's promotions, women went shopping to see what was available and if they wanted it. The store became a destination where women could go by themselves and shop with other women.
FYI: Selfridge's Department Store was the first store to have Women's Restrooms. Before that, women had to go home!
Collectively, we are so beguiled by this culture of buy, buy, buy! we are no longer aware of it. This MUD of the 'wants' shopping atmosphere clings to us and influences our time, our choices, and puts us into debt before we're even aware of it. I remember learning in Psychology 101 how the advertisers know so much about how to display every kind of merchandise to target every kind of shopper, that we want to buy their products. This is our muddy 'want' shopping aura that we need to be aware of and resist, for our own financial health and peace of mind.
The ultimate consumers are the hoarders, pathological, diseased people who just buy and keep satisfy their anxieties for a short moment. They have very little knowledge of their problem, just that they are 'collectors.' Yet they create misery for the rest of us who have to, at times, clean up their messes in storage buildings, attics, etc.
This Mud of Wants is so pervasive that I don't see a 'system' fix on the horizon. In a free enterprise, it's up to each individual to choose wisely. We will just have to be responsible for ourselves and for electing officials who won't give away America!
Lord, you have blessed us with abundance in every way. Sometimes it's hard to avoid spoiling ourselves. Help us be wise in our shopping choices. After all, we want to save some and also have some to give to charity and church. Perhaps we should save, give to church and charity FIRST!
(p.s.: if you live in Kentucky, U.S.A., don't forget to VOTE tomorrow! And if my friends, Lavinia Spirito and Ray DeBolt are in your districts, know that they are the BEST people to be in government for us! Wouldn't it be fun to be a part of the best voter turnout we ever had in a primary election!
Sunday, May 18, 2014
An Empty Nest
There were three active baby robins in the nest in the photo on this blog, Thursday, May 8, "Fresh!" Two days ago, the not-so-little ones jumped out of the nest and are gone - forever. It was time.
When grown-up humans leave the nest of their homes, it's usually a different situation. Preparations have been made: where will they live? Is there income enough to support them? Is there a job or school waiting for them? What will they take with them and what can they leave at home? Is this a solo life or will there be a roommate or spouse?
Whether we have one or a dozen children, there are plenty of mixed emotions when we parents are 'on our own,' too! If our whole lives have been dedicated to the upbringing of our precious children, the quietness of the house and lack of the usual activities will be something new. Wise parents will see this day coming and prepare for their own "new lives" by developing some of their own interests as the years unfold.
Since both my daughter and granddaughter, who each have their own homes, were feeling ill this morning, I went to church by myself, sort of. Once I got there, plenty of friends were there. But I came home, had lunch by myself, and am having a pleasant afternoon reading the newspaper, playing computer games, etc.
The older I get, the more I find myself, 'going with the flow,' just being prepared for whatever the day might bring. I used to make more specific plans with most of my time. It was a challenge to be wherever I or one of the children had to be every hour, every day. Jobs and school functions are so demanding! Now, I sort of plan what would be nice to accomplish in the following week. I never seem to complete everything on my 'list,' but am happy to help whoever I can when they need me, as they need me. It is time.
Praise you, Lord, for the different 'seasons' of our lives, for the busy years and for the quiet times!
 |
| No more little fuzzy robins! |
Whether we have one or a dozen children, there are plenty of mixed emotions when we parents are 'on our own,' too! If our whole lives have been dedicated to the upbringing of our precious children, the quietness of the house and lack of the usual activities will be something new. Wise parents will see this day coming and prepare for their own "new lives" by developing some of their own interests as the years unfold.
Since both my daughter and granddaughter, who each have their own homes, were feeling ill this morning, I went to church by myself, sort of. Once I got there, plenty of friends were there. But I came home, had lunch by myself, and am having a pleasant afternoon reading the newspaper, playing computer games, etc.
The older I get, the more I find myself, 'going with the flow,' just being prepared for whatever the day might bring. I used to make more specific plans with most of my time. It was a challenge to be wherever I or one of the children had to be every hour, every day. Jobs and school functions are so demanding! Now, I sort of plan what would be nice to accomplish in the following week. I never seem to complete everything on my 'list,' but am happy to help whoever I can when they need me, as they need me. It is time.
Praise you, Lord, for the different 'seasons' of our lives, for the busy years and for the quiet times!
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Free Choices
Do you think there's really democracy in a country like North Korea where recently their president was 're-elected,' even though he was the only 'choice' on the ballot? Is there democracy in India with their huge population that last week had their biggest voter turnout of 66.4%? What about democracy in America with widespread government disapproval? Are we going to be more careful about our voting choices? Are we going to vote at all?
So many of our citizens are jaded about government, feeling that all politicians are 'crooked.' Apathy is out there with not everybody registered to vote. Why wouldn't a person want to take just a few minutes to cast a ballot, even though none of the candidates are perfect although neither are we voters!
I'll tell you one thing about the American democratic system of voting that is about as perfect as a thing could be, this side of heaven, that's the voting process in Kentucky, U.S.A.! I spent several hours today getting training to be an election official Tuesday, at a Voting Precinct. I was an official at my last precinct (seven years ago) but was not asked at this new precinct until last week. I'm happy to serve!
This is the first time I personally know not one but two of the candidates on this primary's ballot (local candidates)! They both are two of the most outstanding people I know! I pray they will be elected, both next Tuesday, and in November.
At the grassroots level of voting, the individual precincts, no process could be fairer nor more thoroughly fail-safe. I'm very impressed with all the checks and balances to ensure that each person who is registered gets to cast their ballot secretly and all are properly counted.
I don't know about your opinion or interest in voting, but mine is this: our freedom in America was won at such a high cost in lives, we dare not be apathetic or flippant about it. Every single vote counts! Elections have been won or lost on less than one vote per precinct!
If you're not registered to vote - a quick and easy process - why don't you plan to do it next week while you're thinking about it? That way, for the next election, you'll be ready. Don't you want a say in how your (hard-earned!) tax money is spent!!!
Lord in heaven, you have truly shed your grace on our Land of the Free and Home of the Brave, America! Help us to be responsible citizens and never miss voting in an election!
So many of our citizens are jaded about government, feeling that all politicians are 'crooked.' Apathy is out there with not everybody registered to vote. Why wouldn't a person want to take just a few minutes to cast a ballot, even though none of the candidates are perfect although neither are we voters!
I'll tell you one thing about the American democratic system of voting that is about as perfect as a thing could be, this side of heaven, that's the voting process in Kentucky, U.S.A.! I spent several hours today getting training to be an election official Tuesday, at a Voting Precinct. I was an official at my last precinct (seven years ago) but was not asked at this new precinct until last week. I'm happy to serve!
This is the first time I personally know not one but two of the candidates on this primary's ballot (local candidates)! They both are two of the most outstanding people I know! I pray they will be elected, both next Tuesday, and in November.
At the grassroots level of voting, the individual precincts, no process could be fairer nor more thoroughly fail-safe. I'm very impressed with all the checks and balances to ensure that each person who is registered gets to cast their ballot secretly and all are properly counted.
I don't know about your opinion or interest in voting, but mine is this: our freedom in America was won at such a high cost in lives, we dare not be apathetic or flippant about it. Every single vote counts! Elections have been won or lost on less than one vote per precinct!
If you're not registered to vote - a quick and easy process - why don't you plan to do it next week while you're thinking about it? That way, for the next election, you'll be ready. Don't you want a say in how your (hard-earned!) tax money is spent!!!
Lord in heaven, you have truly shed your grace on our Land of the Free and Home of the Brave, America! Help us to be responsible citizens and never miss voting in an election!
Friday, May 16, 2014
Together!
In my days of teaching church songs to pre-school and elementary school age children at Sunday School, we had such fun! The young ones would sing with all their hearts! With all our gestures and movement, they actually praised God with their whole bodies. We even used Sign Language in a limited way because the State School for the Deaf was in our small town, Danville, Kentucky, U.S.A. Sign language was a part of our town's culture.
The children's attitudes seemed to change about the time they entered middle school, sixth grade. They were more conscious of how they sounded to others and were mostly shy; they didn't enjoy singing as much. So I required less singing and more paying attention to the meaning of the words of the songs. They were much more interested in this approach.
Writing the words of the songs large, on posterboards, and using a few contemporary songs they would recognize also helped with the middle schoolers. They did well with songs like "We Are The World" (Michael Jackson) and "Everything I Do, I Do It For You" (Bryan Williams). We could really relate Jesus' sacrifice for us to this last song.
The church sent me to a Children's Music Convention in Scranton, Pennsylvania. I learned so much and it was such a joy to participate in the services together! Imagine, everyone in church singing beautifully!
Playing the organ and piano for the whole congregation was more challenging. It was discouraging, at times, because everyone didn't sing. Our music group carefully chose songs which we thought were pertinent to each Sunday's Bible readings, songs that the folks knew. We decided to not overwhelm them with too many new songs.
I never had the guts to confront the assembly with a thought I had: Why, oh, why, when I know you can sing our National Anthem at ball games with all your hearts, can you not put a little gusto into singing here? Oh, well, I guess that God was happy they were giving witness to each other in church. Nevermind that some didn't even open either the songbooks or their mouths!
When we work or play together, we are so much stronger! And isn't it more fun!
Lord God, today we ask you to Open Our Eyes to recognize our sisters and brothers, and to Give Us Hearts to Love Them and to Work Together for all you have asked us.
The children's attitudes seemed to change about the time they entered middle school, sixth grade. They were more conscious of how they sounded to others and were mostly shy; they didn't enjoy singing as much. So I required less singing and more paying attention to the meaning of the words of the songs. They were much more interested in this approach.
Writing the words of the songs large, on posterboards, and using a few contemporary songs they would recognize also helped with the middle schoolers. They did well with songs like "We Are The World" (Michael Jackson) and "Everything I Do, I Do It For You" (Bryan Williams). We could really relate Jesus' sacrifice for us to this last song.
The church sent me to a Children's Music Convention in Scranton, Pennsylvania. I learned so much and it was such a joy to participate in the services together! Imagine, everyone in church singing beautifully!
Playing the organ and piano for the whole congregation was more challenging. It was discouraging, at times, because everyone didn't sing. Our music group carefully chose songs which we thought were pertinent to each Sunday's Bible readings, songs that the folks knew. We decided to not overwhelm them with too many new songs.
I never had the guts to confront the assembly with a thought I had: Why, oh, why, when I know you can sing our National Anthem at ball games with all your hearts, can you not put a little gusto into singing here? Oh, well, I guess that God was happy they were giving witness to each other in church. Nevermind that some didn't even open either the songbooks or their mouths!
When we work or play together, we are so much stronger! And isn't it more fun!
Lord God, today we ask you to Open Our Eyes to recognize our sisters and brothers, and to Give Us Hearts to Love Them and to Work Together for all you have asked us.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
High School Reunion: Going?
Sandy, a close friend, recently shared that she went to her high school reunion. The first one she ever attended! And she's retirement age. Sandy had a perfectly delightful time and was overjoyed to be with those of her classmates that had survived to their ages now.
But why do so many we know fear their high school reunions and never, ever go to them? What exactly do they fear? Appearance has got to be one fear: will I look older than everybody else? Sandy's experience was about the same as mine. Most of your old classmates look their ages, one or two look nearly the same as they did in high school, and several will look old enough to be your mothers.
Another fear: if you were bullied or persecuted or not in the "in" crowd, will you be treated the same as you were in high school? No, I've never heard of that happening. Now there is no "in" crowd. Everyone is just happy to be alive!
My gradeschool has had several reunions. They were wonderful and even exciting - especially the first one, after 25 years. It was so comforting to see all my 'brothers and sisters.' It was nice that all of the shorter boys had grown, some very tall. It was nice to meet all the wives and husbands that came. The twins were there. (One has since passed away because of cancer).
One of my church pals went to her distant high school reunion several years ago. She was a widow and reconnected with one of her former boyfriends who also was recently windowed. Now they're very happily married.
It's amazing that some of our teachers came to several of the reunions. They must have been very young when they taught us!
If you get the opportunity to go to a school reunion, give it a try!
YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE A NICE DAY WHEN:
*you've just put your last dryer load in and it's still early. . .
*you dared to try on an old but barely used pair of pants on the mending pile and they're way too big . . . you'll have to take in at least 2 inches on each side. . .
*it rained over 2 inches yesterday and you won't have to water the outside flowers and tomatoes. . .
*you actually had a bit of time to spend on Facebook catching up with friends. . . and 99% of the comments were positive . . .
*when you got on the scale earlier, it was a whole pound less than yesterday. . .
*you tackled finishing cleaning out the stove oven and lower drawer and even cleaned out the microwave, too . . . how could that drawer collect so many crumbs!. . . now two items can be checked off the "Spring Cleaning" list . . .
*All is Well!
But why do so many we know fear their high school reunions and never, ever go to them? What exactly do they fear? Appearance has got to be one fear: will I look older than everybody else? Sandy's experience was about the same as mine. Most of your old classmates look their ages, one or two look nearly the same as they did in high school, and several will look old enough to be your mothers.
Another fear: if you were bullied or persecuted or not in the "in" crowd, will you be treated the same as you were in high school? No, I've never heard of that happening. Now there is no "in" crowd. Everyone is just happy to be alive!
My gradeschool has had several reunions. They were wonderful and even exciting - especially the first one, after 25 years. It was so comforting to see all my 'brothers and sisters.' It was nice that all of the shorter boys had grown, some very tall. It was nice to meet all the wives and husbands that came. The twins were there. (One has since passed away because of cancer).
One of my church pals went to her distant high school reunion several years ago. She was a widow and reconnected with one of her former boyfriends who also was recently windowed. Now they're very happily married.
It's amazing that some of our teachers came to several of the reunions. They must have been very young when they taught us!
If you get the opportunity to go to a school reunion, give it a try!
YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE A NICE DAY WHEN:
*you've just put your last dryer load in and it's still early. . .
*you dared to try on an old but barely used pair of pants on the mending pile and they're way too big . . . you'll have to take in at least 2 inches on each side. . .
*it rained over 2 inches yesterday and you won't have to water the outside flowers and tomatoes. . .
*you actually had a bit of time to spend on Facebook catching up with friends. . . and 99% of the comments were positive . . .
*when you got on the scale earlier, it was a whole pound less than yesterday. . .
*you tackled finishing cleaning out the stove oven and lower drawer and even cleaned out the microwave, too . . . how could that drawer collect so many crumbs!. . . now two items can be checked off the "Spring Cleaning" list . . .
*All is Well!
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Shooting Stars
When we're adolescents, we're magnetically attracted to the 'pretty' people: movie stars, rock stars, sports stars. That's a normal development. These people are all out of reach to teens but they can feel 'in love' without responsibility. When teens mature, they're attracted to real men or real women, and go on to form loving relationships, marry, etc. Except, some of them never mature.
Do you know any older men or women who seems to have a lifestyle of 'serial marriages' to losers? They know they're attracted to slick alcoholics or people in trouble with the law frequently or even musicians with local bands. Barbie was such a woman. She had an early pregnancy with a one-night stand local guitarist. She didn't even tell him she was expecting his child until after the child was born. Basically, she didn't want anything to do with him, gave her child up for adoption, but the agency wanted a family medical history from both parents. He sent the history and she never heard another word from him or about him. He was just a shooting star, flashing once then never seen again.
After that disaster, Barbie was married to a good-looking man who happened to have a serious illegal drug problem. She knew about the drug problem when she married him and thought marriage would change him. Wrong! After Barbie worried their children would get hurt from his 'friends,' she divorced the jerk but it cost her an enormous amount emotionally. Another shooting star, flashing by, even brighter, but more dangerous.
For the next several years, Barbie dated other exciting, dangerous men who took full advantage of her sexually and financially. With nothing left, Barbie has 'sworn off men.' She vows to never have another relationship, that all men are 'bad.' I told her she's just looking in the wrong places for the wrong kinds of men. Look in bars, what will you get? Drinkers, maybe drunks. Look in wild, drug-laced rock concerts, what will you find? Lots of pot-crazed idiots who think they're wonderful.
So where should one look to find decent men and women? Decent places: churches, jobs, political rallies, charity functions, etc. Barbie seems to be a really nice person. I pray that women and even men like her don't give up on finding a kind, responsible person with whom to have a fulfilling relationship. If you go for the Shooting Stars, you certainly get burned!
Lord, lead us, guide us, help us find wholesome friends and mates!
Do you know any older men or women who seems to have a lifestyle of 'serial marriages' to losers? They know they're attracted to slick alcoholics or people in trouble with the law frequently or even musicians with local bands. Barbie was such a woman. She had an early pregnancy with a one-night stand local guitarist. She didn't even tell him she was expecting his child until after the child was born. Basically, she didn't want anything to do with him, gave her child up for adoption, but the agency wanted a family medical history from both parents. He sent the history and she never heard another word from him or about him. He was just a shooting star, flashing once then never seen again.
After that disaster, Barbie was married to a good-looking man who happened to have a serious illegal drug problem. She knew about the drug problem when she married him and thought marriage would change him. Wrong! After Barbie worried their children would get hurt from his 'friends,' she divorced the jerk but it cost her an enormous amount emotionally. Another shooting star, flashing by, even brighter, but more dangerous.
For the next several years, Barbie dated other exciting, dangerous men who took full advantage of her sexually and financially. With nothing left, Barbie has 'sworn off men.' She vows to never have another relationship, that all men are 'bad.' I told her she's just looking in the wrong places for the wrong kinds of men. Look in bars, what will you get? Drinkers, maybe drunks. Look in wild, drug-laced rock concerts, what will you find? Lots of pot-crazed idiots who think they're wonderful.
So where should one look to find decent men and women? Decent places: churches, jobs, political rallies, charity functions, etc. Barbie seems to be a really nice person. I pray that women and even men like her don't give up on finding a kind, responsible person with whom to have a fulfilling relationship. If you go for the Shooting Stars, you certainly get burned!
Lord, lead us, guide us, help us find wholesome friends and mates!
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Honest Engagements Work!
This is not a report of two young lovers jumping into a relationship or marriage quickly. Jason and Marianne had both been married and divorced once, both had children from their first marriages, and both worked very hard at their jobs. They were in their late thirties and were determined that their next marriage would last for the rest of their lives.
Although the couple were powerfully attracted to each other from their first meeting, they were mature enough to take any thoughts of a lasting commitment slowly. For over a year, they dated casually, then exclusively, forming a deep friendship. Marianne was very active in her church; she told Jason it was very important to her. Jason joined her in working with the church's youth group. It soon also became his church, too. After marriage, they continued this work together and enjoyed it even more.
Jason traveled abroad quite a bit as part of his job. After marriage, Marianne joined him, as she could. By then, all of their children were grown and living on their own. Jason had always wanted to work in Germany, where his company had a factory. Before marriage, Jason asked Marianne, " If I were to get promoted and be sent to Germany, would you move with me?" She loved Jason with all her heart and readily answered, "Yes. I would move with you if that happens."
Now, after eleven years of a very happy marriage, Jason has actually been promoted to the job of his dreams - in Germany! The minimum time he will be there will be four years. Marianne is making plans to sell their home, quit her job, and move to Germany. At first she mentioned how very much she will miss their children, grandchildren, church, and friends. But then she added, "We'll be able to come home (to the States) twice a year. This will just be different. And everybody says they'll come visit us in Germany, too."
I was thrilled when Marianne asked me, "Would you come visit me?" I did not hesitate, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!"
Lessons learned: Honesty is critical in all levels of friendship! Don't hold anything back; you must discuss issues, hopes, and plans that figure large in your life.
Dear Lord in Heaven, what you commanded us was, "Do not bear false witness." This doesn't mean only saying true statements. It could also mean, "Make sure you discuss important issues that may affect your relationships honestly." Please bless all our relationships, especially our relationship with You!
Although the couple were powerfully attracted to each other from their first meeting, they were mature enough to take any thoughts of a lasting commitment slowly. For over a year, they dated casually, then exclusively, forming a deep friendship. Marianne was very active in her church; she told Jason it was very important to her. Jason joined her in working with the church's youth group. It soon also became his church, too. After marriage, they continued this work together and enjoyed it even more.
Jason traveled abroad quite a bit as part of his job. After marriage, Marianne joined him, as she could. By then, all of their children were grown and living on their own. Jason had always wanted to work in Germany, where his company had a factory. Before marriage, Jason asked Marianne, " If I were to get promoted and be sent to Germany, would you move with me?" She loved Jason with all her heart and readily answered, "Yes. I would move with you if that happens."
Now, after eleven years of a very happy marriage, Jason has actually been promoted to the job of his dreams - in Germany! The minimum time he will be there will be four years. Marianne is making plans to sell their home, quit her job, and move to Germany. At first she mentioned how very much she will miss their children, grandchildren, church, and friends. But then she added, "We'll be able to come home (to the States) twice a year. This will just be different. And everybody says they'll come visit us in Germany, too."
I was thrilled when Marianne asked me, "Would you come visit me?" I did not hesitate, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!"
Lessons learned: Honesty is critical in all levels of friendship! Don't hold anything back; you must discuss issues, hopes, and plans that figure large in your life.
Dear Lord in Heaven, what you commanded us was, "Do not bear false witness." This doesn't mean only saying true statements. It could also mean, "Make sure you discuss important issues that may affect your relationships honestly." Please bless all our relationships, especially our relationship with You!
Monday, May 12, 2014
The 'Amish' Woman
One time I met a middle-aged woman with a large bunch of children, some her own physical children, some her adopted children. Laura was friendly and we got to talking. She claimed to be Amish, and went to the Amish church but drove a van. Laura explained, "They (the Amish) want us to drive a horse and buggy like they do but some of our children are handicapped and we need to drive them to doctors a lot. The Amish don't say anything to us." OK, good. Laura wore a cloth bonnet in the Amish style, no make-up, and a simple, mid-thigh length dress. The children were dressed like everyone else's children. Laura's husband sported a long, scraggly beard.
Later in the conversation, Laura mentioned, "I used to be a Catholic, but I didn't like the Catholic lifestyle." I didn't have an answer for that. This comment has stayed with me, a life-long happy Catholic, for many years. What exactly is a "Catholic lifestyle?" We Catholic Christians are so diverse, so world-wide, so city and country, rich, poor and in-between, very educated, totally uneducated and in-between, there is no and can be no "Catholic lifestyle."
No one in our small church would have minded that Laura wanted to live in the country and have a lot of children. We had plenty of farm families in our congregation. My big bunch of children at that time, my husband and I lived in the city. We didn't have a van but had a big old station wagon. Some of the ladies wore make-up, some used a lot, some never used any.
After mulling this over for about thirty years, I've concluded that it was not the "Catholic lifestyle" that induced Laura to seek another church, it was her choice to not follow the Catholic teachings. OK, good, this is between Laura and God. I never saw her again but know she is deceased. I know that somehow, she and God worked this out.
Lord, the older we get, the more most of us count on you. We want everyone to know about how much you love us. Help us face reality in every aspect of our lives. Please help us know the true church in which you would like us to give public worship to you!
Later in the conversation, Laura mentioned, "I used to be a Catholic, but I didn't like the Catholic lifestyle." I didn't have an answer for that. This comment has stayed with me, a life-long happy Catholic, for many years. What exactly is a "Catholic lifestyle?" We Catholic Christians are so diverse, so world-wide, so city and country, rich, poor and in-between, very educated, totally uneducated and in-between, there is no and can be no "Catholic lifestyle."
No one in our small church would have minded that Laura wanted to live in the country and have a lot of children. We had plenty of farm families in our congregation. My big bunch of children at that time, my husband and I lived in the city. We didn't have a van but had a big old station wagon. Some of the ladies wore make-up, some used a lot, some never used any.
After mulling this over for about thirty years, I've concluded that it was not the "Catholic lifestyle" that induced Laura to seek another church, it was her choice to not follow the Catholic teachings. OK, good, this is between Laura and God. I never saw her again but know she is deceased. I know that somehow, she and God worked this out.
Lord, the older we get, the more most of us count on you. We want everyone to know about how much you love us. Help us face reality in every aspect of our lives. Please help us know the true church in which you would like us to give public worship to you!
Sunday, May 11, 2014
In Praise of Mother
Today, Mother's Day, seemed like a fine day to remember my own dear mother, Adeline, who left this world in 2002, and her many fine qualities. The first thing this morning, I sat down and wrote out a list of 15 major qualities in her for which I am extremely grateful. I'd be writing this for many hours if I described them all. Thus, I have chosen and will mention the one most important characteristic Mother inspired in me.
In the era before the 1960's, women's choices in life were extremely limited. We all looked forward, happily, to marriage and children, the sooner, the better. Our 'job' choices before marriage were generally limited to secretary, teacher, clerk, or nurse. Yet Mother let me know, unfailingly and unflinchingly, that I could accomplish anything I set out to do. She never knew she had this influence on me. Sure, I knew that any task worth attempting would entail a great deal of thought and hard work, but that was to be expected. Also: no matter what the odds against me attaining what I thought important, I would never know if it could be done unless I tried it and gave it my best, my very best.
I should have told mother about this when, as a newlywed, I needed curtains for our apartment. Although mother had given me a basic sewing machine for a wedding present, I didn't have a clue about where to start to sew curtains. (I didn't like the cheap stuff in the stores.) I remember thinking, "If mother can make curtains, I can make curtains!" Too bad we lived so far apart, she in Dayton, Ohio, and I in Hazard, Kentucky; I could have consulted her.
As it happened, I went to the library and borrowed a book on Sewing Window Coverings. It was fairly technical but very well illustrated, and I slowly accomplished a reasonable set of curtains. Wow, I was so proud of them! I could do it!
Another challenge, one of an infinite number of challenges, actually, happened in the mid-1970's. I was a member of the Right to Life group in Danville, Kentucky. We were brainstorming ideas of how to publicize our chapter's goals: legal 'personhood' for one and all. I saw where other chapters had the mayor of their cities declare January 23 as "Right to Life Day." All my colleagues agreed, our mayor would never do this. I accepted this but then the idea started gnawing on me. I hadn't tried it; how would I know what would happen?
I made an appointment to see our mayor and presented my idea. Much to my surprise, he thought it was a fine idea and approved it! Another 'Wow' feeling!
Oh, Mother, I still miss you! I suggest to my readers to make a list of all the qualities your mother has or had that has inspired you. And if she is still alive: thank her, sincerely. I promise she'll never forget and treasure this in her heart!
Lord, thank you for the best mother a person could ever have! Keep her close to you forever!
In the era before the 1960's, women's choices in life were extremely limited. We all looked forward, happily, to marriage and children, the sooner, the better. Our 'job' choices before marriage were generally limited to secretary, teacher, clerk, or nurse. Yet Mother let me know, unfailingly and unflinchingly, that I could accomplish anything I set out to do. She never knew she had this influence on me. Sure, I knew that any task worth attempting would entail a great deal of thought and hard work, but that was to be expected. Also: no matter what the odds against me attaining what I thought important, I would never know if it could be done unless I tried it and gave it my best, my very best.
I should have told mother about this when, as a newlywed, I needed curtains for our apartment. Although mother had given me a basic sewing machine for a wedding present, I didn't have a clue about where to start to sew curtains. (I didn't like the cheap stuff in the stores.) I remember thinking, "If mother can make curtains, I can make curtains!" Too bad we lived so far apart, she in Dayton, Ohio, and I in Hazard, Kentucky; I could have consulted her.
As it happened, I went to the library and borrowed a book on Sewing Window Coverings. It was fairly technical but very well illustrated, and I slowly accomplished a reasonable set of curtains. Wow, I was so proud of them! I could do it!
Another challenge, one of an infinite number of challenges, actually, happened in the mid-1970's. I was a member of the Right to Life group in Danville, Kentucky. We were brainstorming ideas of how to publicize our chapter's goals: legal 'personhood' for one and all. I saw where other chapters had the mayor of their cities declare January 23 as "Right to Life Day." All my colleagues agreed, our mayor would never do this. I accepted this but then the idea started gnawing on me. I hadn't tried it; how would I know what would happen?
I made an appointment to see our mayor and presented my idea. Much to my surprise, he thought it was a fine idea and approved it! Another 'Wow' feeling!
Oh, Mother, I still miss you! I suggest to my readers to make a list of all the qualities your mother has or had that has inspired you. And if she is still alive: thank her, sincerely. I promise she'll never forget and treasure this in her heart!
Lord, thank you for the best mother a person could ever have! Keep her close to you forever!
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Blogs' Update - And Success!
It has been one year (on May 13) since my first post on my travel blog, www.rockingthroughworld.blogspot.com. One year! I can hardly believe it!! I started it for two reasons: 1) to motivate myself to start organizing and reading my collection of National Geographic Magazines, which date back to 1926, and which I promised myself I would read them ALL once I retired, and 2) to discipline myself to write every day about relationships, hopefully to learn from others reading a blog I then first posted on May 20, 2013, www.stoptwistedlove.blogspot.com, in preparation to resume writing the book I had previously started in the year 2000.
Super-great news: last week the total number of readers on the Relationship Blog surpassed those on the Travel Blog for the first time! - even though there are more posts on the Travel Blog. Yes, indeed, super-great news!! Thank you, dear readers! And thank you, son-in-law, Dave, who encouraged me, showed me how to start and, at times, corrected me, thank you! Thanks also to the originators and maintainers of this blog site, whom I've never met in person, but deeply appreciate.
Please pass on to your family and friends these sites! Thank you, again!!
(Don't forget to read the first post on this blog today, "The Dark (?) Days.")
Super-great news: last week the total number of readers on the Relationship Blog surpassed those on the Travel Blog for the first time! - even though there are more posts on the Travel Blog. Yes, indeed, super-great news!! Thank you, dear readers! And thank you, son-in-law, Dave, who encouraged me, showed me how to start and, at times, corrected me, thank you! Thanks also to the originators and maintainers of this blog site, whom I've never met in person, but deeply appreciate.
Please pass on to your family and friends these sites! Thank you, again!!
(Don't forget to read the first post on this blog today, "The Dark (?) Days.")
The Dark (?) Days
I was young and in love and was with the one I loved! What could be better? We were shopping in town and talked non-stop. The summer day started out sunny but the clouds came and I had no umbrella. Of course, guys generally, hardly ever, at least when they're young, don't carry umbrellas. What was I to do? We had to get to the car. Carefree, without a second thought, I declared, "Oh well, I won't melt!" And we both ran and ran till we reached the car, slightly drenched. We laughed at the sight of each other. Funny how the dark, rainy morning today brought back this memory!
Now, somewhat older, I'm thinking more practical thoughts: Thank you for the rain, Lord, now I won't have to drag out the hose to sprinkle the flowers and the tomatoes. It's cool; I'd better take advantage and sew for a while - the house is clean enough! I should also write those thank-you notes I've been putting off - the mulch will wait in the garage.
The pitter-patter of raindrops on the roof and windows also brought back the vision of sad little ones, with their noses on the window panes, knowing they couldn't go outside to play, softly whining, "Mommy, what can we do today?" (As if there were not a toy in the house!)
A day in the morning, now that I'm retired and don't have to get my uniform on, drive to the parking garage, work full-speed all day, drive home and collapse, is highly motivating! I say this not to make you jealous if you're not retired, but to give you something to look forward to. You'll get there, too! Hang in there!
We praise you, Oh, Lord, for your bountiful blessing of rain today, watering our plants, cleaning our world, refreshing our air!
Now, somewhat older, I'm thinking more practical thoughts: Thank you for the rain, Lord, now I won't have to drag out the hose to sprinkle the flowers and the tomatoes. It's cool; I'd better take advantage and sew for a while - the house is clean enough! I should also write those thank-you notes I've been putting off - the mulch will wait in the garage.
The pitter-patter of raindrops on the roof and windows also brought back the vision of sad little ones, with their noses on the window panes, knowing they couldn't go outside to play, softly whining, "Mommy, what can we do today?" (As if there were not a toy in the house!)
A day in the morning, now that I'm retired and don't have to get my uniform on, drive to the parking garage, work full-speed all day, drive home and collapse, is highly motivating! I say this not to make you jealous if you're not retired, but to give you something to look forward to. You'll get there, too! Hang in there!
We praise you, Oh, Lord, for your bountiful blessing of rain today, watering our plants, cleaning our world, refreshing our air!
Friday, May 9, 2014
Call the Ragman!
Along with one vague memory of a large chunk of square ice being delivered by the Ice Man to my Grandma for her "icebox," before she acquired an electric refrigerator, I have a memory of Tinkers. These were the men who would repair a hole in one of your metal kitchen pans. No kidding! I never actually saw a Tinker but Granny had several aluminum pans with small circular pieces of metal screwed into the sides. There was also a Ragman. He would come around periodically, in the alley, and collect anything you didn't want if he thought he could use it.
In these days of high unemployment, we all know that, if we can't use something that someone else may repair, we just put it on the curb beside our garbage cans the night before collection and it will be taken even before morning. I've seen people in pickup trucks roaming around to see what is new and picking up odd items. Other people will snatch something off the street if they think they can use it. This kind of collecting is done out of necessity. Perhaps something can be repaired and sold for a little extra income.
Have you had to help clean out an attic after someone's death? It is usually an incredibly difficult task. Even my parents, who had downsized to a small, two-bedroom apartment in their later years, and who were extremely neat and organized, had a lot of things to divide up. Very little had to be thrown out; some clothes were given away and the rest of their things divided up among my three brothers and myself.
I've promised myself that I never, ever want to move to another house again! It is such a huge task! My biggest move was downsizing from a 6-bedroom house into a 2-bedroom townhouse. It took me 9 months to clean out the attic of many years of storage of things that 'might' be fixed or needed. Then I did what my mother did when she and dad made the big move from Dayton to Sacramento in 1970. She informed my brothers and me, "I've separated your stuff into piles. If you want it, come and get it, I'm not moving it." And we did!
Then there are stories on the news once in a while about a house condemned by the health department due to someone keeping 100 cats and not cleaning up or a person never throwing out their garbage, etc. The 'organizing' shows on TV show the 'before' photos of rooms so crowded with possessions, floor to ceiling, that it is impossible to crowd in even air!
These are the truly mentally ill folks, the Hoarders. They buy, buy, buy, never enjoying any of what they have, they just have a compulsive need to acquire. Nothing will satisfy them. When there's absolutely no room where they live for more of anything, they rent storage buildings. If they can't pay the rent on storage, there are blind auctions at which the highest bidder takes a chance that what's inside the storage room will be more valuable than what was paid for it.
The Hoarders think they are collecting, but they are not! The difference between a hoarder and a collector is that a collector will look for a specific item needed for the collection, enjoy it quit a bit when it is found and bought. On the other hand, once the hoarder gets more of his/her special category, it will be stored and forgotten.
It would be very unhappy to be married to a hoarder, unless a hoarder married another hoarder and they had quite a bit of money to satisfy their cravings. I'm not sure there would be a way to discover these hoarding tendencies before marriage. I'm not sure that if you discover your spouse is a hoarder (assuming you're not!) it would do any good to try to prevent your home becoming ridiculously crowded with junk. What could you do? Make sure he/she didn't bring anything not needed into the house? Usually, the hoarder is not at all aware that it is mentally ill to accumulate so many unused, unneeded objects!
Has anyone dealt successfully with the problem of hoarding, either in yourself or in a loved one?
Dear Lord, perhaps if we remembered who it will be who will have to divide up our possessions when we die, we will accumulate possessions more wisely. We ask you today to help us be careful when we buy anything and ask ourselves, "Do I really NEED this?" We don't want to burden our relatives with the task of either calling the Ragman or renting a dumpster!!
In these days of high unemployment, we all know that, if we can't use something that someone else may repair, we just put it on the curb beside our garbage cans the night before collection and it will be taken even before morning. I've seen people in pickup trucks roaming around to see what is new and picking up odd items. Other people will snatch something off the street if they think they can use it. This kind of collecting is done out of necessity. Perhaps something can be repaired and sold for a little extra income.
Have you had to help clean out an attic after someone's death? It is usually an incredibly difficult task. Even my parents, who had downsized to a small, two-bedroom apartment in their later years, and who were extremely neat and organized, had a lot of things to divide up. Very little had to be thrown out; some clothes were given away and the rest of their things divided up among my three brothers and myself.
I've promised myself that I never, ever want to move to another house again! It is such a huge task! My biggest move was downsizing from a 6-bedroom house into a 2-bedroom townhouse. It took me 9 months to clean out the attic of many years of storage of things that 'might' be fixed or needed. Then I did what my mother did when she and dad made the big move from Dayton to Sacramento in 1970. She informed my brothers and me, "I've separated your stuff into piles. If you want it, come and get it, I'm not moving it." And we did!
Then there are stories on the news once in a while about a house condemned by the health department due to someone keeping 100 cats and not cleaning up or a person never throwing out their garbage, etc. The 'organizing' shows on TV show the 'before' photos of rooms so crowded with possessions, floor to ceiling, that it is impossible to crowd in even air!
These are the truly mentally ill folks, the Hoarders. They buy, buy, buy, never enjoying any of what they have, they just have a compulsive need to acquire. Nothing will satisfy them. When there's absolutely no room where they live for more of anything, they rent storage buildings. If they can't pay the rent on storage, there are blind auctions at which the highest bidder takes a chance that what's inside the storage room will be more valuable than what was paid for it.
The Hoarders think they are collecting, but they are not! The difference between a hoarder and a collector is that a collector will look for a specific item needed for the collection, enjoy it quit a bit when it is found and bought. On the other hand, once the hoarder gets more of his/her special category, it will be stored and forgotten.
It would be very unhappy to be married to a hoarder, unless a hoarder married another hoarder and they had quite a bit of money to satisfy their cravings. I'm not sure there would be a way to discover these hoarding tendencies before marriage. I'm not sure that if you discover your spouse is a hoarder (assuming you're not!) it would do any good to try to prevent your home becoming ridiculously crowded with junk. What could you do? Make sure he/she didn't bring anything not needed into the house? Usually, the hoarder is not at all aware that it is mentally ill to accumulate so many unused, unneeded objects!
Has anyone dealt successfully with the problem of hoarding, either in yourself or in a loved one?
Dear Lord, perhaps if we remembered who it will be who will have to divide up our possessions when we die, we will accumulate possessions more wisely. We ask you today to help us be careful when we buy anything and ask ourselves, "Do I really NEED this?" We don't want to burden our relatives with the task of either calling the Ragman or renting a dumpster!!
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Fresh!
Yesterday I opened up all the windows in my house and let in the fresh air! I breathed in deeply the soft spring air. There is such a difference between the old winter recycled air and air blowing in the open windows. It was time to do this.
The windows stayed open all night. I'm not sure this made a difference but I slept so much better and felt more refreshed. It was comforting to view the orange-pink beginning of a sunrise at 6:15 a.m.
My furnace hasn't come on but once in 5 weeks. I'll turn it off. It is time.
All my heavy winter clothes, the sweaters, the corduroy pants, and the turtleneck shirts, went into storage yesterday and out came the light-weight cottons, linens and my favorite plaid seersucker pants which I've patched over and over. It was time.
I'm in a new routine after breakfast: water the pots of pink petunias on the front porch with the watering can, go out in the back yard, grab the hose and water the pots of flowers, the two tomato plants, the daisies and the basil, then put fresh water in the bird bath. It's also time for this.
Yesterday I also finished and printed out a list I started, "2014 Spring Cleaning." It's morphed into three typed pages! I never finish all the various projects in one spring and summer but manage to do quite a lot every year. It's past time for this to begin.
The three new robins in the nest in the holly busy beside my front sidewalk are tiny. The mother protests when anyone passes by. The bunnies have multiplied. I've got to refill the bird feeders again. Yes, it's time for this, too.
Spring activities and thoughts always include a wall painting project. This year it will be the guest bedroom and bath that's overdue for a makeover. I'm almost ready to go buy the paint (but haven't decided on a color yet). It's time!
Now that the house is well on its way to feeling "fresh" and new, what about "me?" What can I do to renew? This is definitely a more difficult project! For one thing, yesterday, I signed up for a "retreat," "Women's One-Day spiritual Exercises." It's offered by my church's diocesan office in June.
In high school, it was suggested to us that when we have major 'life changes,' such as graduation into the work world, marriage, etc., we set aside some time to meditate on what is coming, more specifically, where God is leading us and what he wants us to do. Last June, I just jumped into retirement from working for money and haven't stopped since! I am needing some 'discernment,' I feel. The brochure I printed out states, "Based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, Meditations given by a priest of the Legionaries of Christ, Opportunities for Confession, spiritual Direction, Rosary, Eucharistic Celebration. A reflective,silent retreat enriching one's personal relationship with Jesus Christ." Looks like just what I need!
Lord God, you told us there is a time for everything. We thank you for the beautiful, refreshing season of spring that gives us new energy, a happy outlook on your world! We can always count on you to lead us and guide us.
The windows stayed open all night. I'm not sure this made a difference but I slept so much better and felt more refreshed. It was comforting to view the orange-pink beginning of a sunrise at 6:15 a.m.
My furnace hasn't come on but once in 5 weeks. I'll turn it off. It is time.
All my heavy winter clothes, the sweaters, the corduroy pants, and the turtleneck shirts, went into storage yesterday and out came the light-weight cottons, linens and my favorite plaid seersucker pants which I've patched over and over. It was time.
I'm in a new routine after breakfast: water the pots of pink petunias on the front porch with the watering can, go out in the back yard, grab the hose and water the pots of flowers, the two tomato plants, the daisies and the basil, then put fresh water in the bird bath. It's also time for this.
Yesterday I also finished and printed out a list I started, "2014 Spring Cleaning." It's morphed into three typed pages! I never finish all the various projects in one spring and summer but manage to do quite a lot every year. It's past time for this to begin.
The three new robins in the nest in the holly busy beside my front sidewalk are tiny. The mother protests when anyone passes by. The bunnies have multiplied. I've got to refill the bird feeders again. Yes, it's time for this, too.
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| Can you see the three pointy beaks waiting for food? They grow so fast! In a day or two, their eyes will be fully open and they might be able to sit up! (5/8/14) |
Spring activities and thoughts always include a wall painting project. This year it will be the guest bedroom and bath that's overdue for a makeover. I'm almost ready to go buy the paint (but haven't decided on a color yet). It's time!
Now that the house is well on its way to feeling "fresh" and new, what about "me?" What can I do to renew? This is definitely a more difficult project! For one thing, yesterday, I signed up for a "retreat," "Women's One-Day spiritual Exercises." It's offered by my church's diocesan office in June.
In high school, it was suggested to us that when we have major 'life changes,' such as graduation into the work world, marriage, etc., we set aside some time to meditate on what is coming, more specifically, where God is leading us and what he wants us to do. Last June, I just jumped into retirement from working for money and haven't stopped since! I am needing some 'discernment,' I feel. The brochure I printed out states, "Based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, Meditations given by a priest of the Legionaries of Christ, Opportunities for Confession, spiritual Direction, Rosary, Eucharistic Celebration. A reflective,silent retreat enriching one's personal relationship with Jesus Christ." Looks like just what I need!
Lord God, you told us there is a time for everything. We thank you for the beautiful, refreshing season of spring that gives us new energy, a happy outlook on your world! We can always count on you to lead us and guide us.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Cheaters, #6: Waves
Recently I watched a movie that had been highly recommended to me, "How to Make an American Quilt." The movie was very absorbing (chick flick!) but its every character either cheated on his/her wife or husband or was cheated on. Even the heroine, a young, unmarried woman, cheated on her fiance. All the cheating arrangements consisted in physical intimacy.
The repercussions from all this cheating were extreme suffering on the part of the victims. Most were forgiven, although it took some nearly a lifetime to come to this forgiveness. It shows that a cheating episode has 'waves' of pain which hurt everyone in the family, friends, and community.
Could it be that any one of us has not personally known a cheater, witnessed a neighbor or co-worker in the act of cheating? It would be good if every one of us had a clear conscience, that we had never cheated on our own spouses! Surely, the aftermath of all cheating episodes is so painful, that any amount of pleasure with a non-spouse could never compensate!
In order to number this blog on a series, I had to look back through past blogs. It had been a long time I blogged about this sort of relationship. For other cheating situations, you may check out these past blogs: #1: Cheaters, Number One, July 2, 2013; #2: Cheaters, Number Two, July 3, 2013; #3: The See-Saws: Cheaters, September 2, 2013; #4: The Tale of Two Cheating Women, September 4, 2013; and #5: It Takes Two to Cheat but. . ., September 9, 2013.
Lord, we know in our brains that cheating is wrong, wrong, wrong! You told us that even 'coveting' another's spouse or goods is wrong. Yet you also promised that you would give us the strength to resist every temptation. Help us always do this, Lord!
The repercussions from all this cheating were extreme suffering on the part of the victims. Most were forgiven, although it took some nearly a lifetime to come to this forgiveness. It shows that a cheating episode has 'waves' of pain which hurt everyone in the family, friends, and community.
Could it be that any one of us has not personally known a cheater, witnessed a neighbor or co-worker in the act of cheating? It would be good if every one of us had a clear conscience, that we had never cheated on our own spouses! Surely, the aftermath of all cheating episodes is so painful, that any amount of pleasure with a non-spouse could never compensate!
In order to number this blog on a series, I had to look back through past blogs. It had been a long time I blogged about this sort of relationship. For other cheating situations, you may check out these past blogs: #1: Cheaters, Number One, July 2, 2013; #2: Cheaters, Number Two, July 3, 2013; #3: The See-Saws: Cheaters, September 2, 2013; #4: The Tale of Two Cheating Women, September 4, 2013; and #5: It Takes Two to Cheat but. . ., September 9, 2013.
Lord, we know in our brains that cheating is wrong, wrong, wrong! You told us that even 'coveting' another's spouse or goods is wrong. Yet you also promised that you would give us the strength to resist every temptation. Help us always do this, Lord!
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
The Pearl in a Field
My mother maintained an old, gray Cookbook Journal for many years. I inherited this and it is one of my greatest treasures. It holds all the old family recipes. Yet several years ago, I lost it - somewhere in my house! I searched every nook and cranny, turning over nearly everything I own, trying to find the Cookbook. No luck until several days ago. I found the Cookbook, right in front of me, in a storage cube/footrest I hardly ever open!
In the Cookbook were the same old recipes I remembered, Cherry Winks (cookies), Nellie's Orange Cake (from Courier-Journal food editor, Cissy Gregg) and Topping, Lebkuchen (German Christmas Cookies), Kitchen Dough (a German Kuchen Dough) with Cinnamon Topping, German Potato Salad, Rum Balls, etc. One of the first dated recipes is Oatmeal Cookies from Marie Kubistal, Bremerhaven, Germany, 1948. This book is really irreplaceable!
What I didn't recall was a section, p. 44, Family Records. I don't ever remember seeing these pages. Starting with Mom and Dad's marriage in 1941 are listed all family engagements, marriages, births, deaths, and divorces, along with the cities, churches or hospitals where these occurred. With some babies, their birth weight and length is noted (example: Adrianna Mary, 9# 8 1/2 oz, born Oct. 8, 1981, Italy). This is an invaluable source for my search into family history!
There are several blank pages. I will have to consider which recipes my own family loved the most, write them in and date them - and leave some pages blank for the next generation!
Along with scanning old family photographs, I plan to scan the pages of this Cookbook Journal, and create a DVD for all interested family members. Meanwhile, into my Family Tree on ancestry.com will go all the names, places, and dates.
In my mind this 'find' is similar to Jesus' parable in the Bible of The Pearl of Great Price (Matthew 13: 44). "The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field, which a person finds and hides again, and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."
Lord, we thank you for all our 'treasures,' especially when we find lost ones! We ask you for the wisdom and energy to use all our treasures to accomplish the most good in our lives.
FYI: lest you or I think I'm 'super granny,' you need to know that my cold had progressed to the point I needed to take medicine, I am taking the decongestants and actually feel better now. Nursy advice: please, please, please! don't let your minor illnesses go on too long before seeking medical attention. I have seen too many people in the hospital ICUs that let their illnesses progress into pneumonia, blood poisoning, total kidney failure, etc. I have seen too many people die of this! I'd much rather have a doctor tell me, "you really don't need antibiotics for this," than have to go through bags and bags of IV antibiotics in the hospital in an attempt to rescue me from block-headedness.
In the Cookbook were the same old recipes I remembered, Cherry Winks (cookies), Nellie's Orange Cake (from Courier-Journal food editor, Cissy Gregg) and Topping, Lebkuchen (German Christmas Cookies), Kitchen Dough (a German Kuchen Dough) with Cinnamon Topping, German Potato Salad, Rum Balls, etc. One of the first dated recipes is Oatmeal Cookies from Marie Kubistal, Bremerhaven, Germany, 1948. This book is really irreplaceable!
What I didn't recall was a section, p. 44, Family Records. I don't ever remember seeing these pages. Starting with Mom and Dad's marriage in 1941 are listed all family engagements, marriages, births, deaths, and divorces, along with the cities, churches or hospitals where these occurred. With some babies, their birth weight and length is noted (example: Adrianna Mary, 9# 8 1/2 oz, born Oct. 8, 1981, Italy). This is an invaluable source for my search into family history!
There are several blank pages. I will have to consider which recipes my own family loved the most, write them in and date them - and leave some pages blank for the next generation!
Along with scanning old family photographs, I plan to scan the pages of this Cookbook Journal, and create a DVD for all interested family members. Meanwhile, into my Family Tree on ancestry.com will go all the names, places, and dates.
In my mind this 'find' is similar to Jesus' parable in the Bible of The Pearl of Great Price (Matthew 13: 44). "The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field, which a person finds and hides again, and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."
Lord, we thank you for all our 'treasures,' especially when we find lost ones! We ask you for the wisdom and energy to use all our treasures to accomplish the most good in our lives.
FYI: lest you or I think I'm 'super granny,' you need to know that my cold had progressed to the point I needed to take medicine, I am taking the decongestants and actually feel better now. Nursy advice: please, please, please! don't let your minor illnesses go on too long before seeking medical attention. I have seen too many people in the hospital ICUs that let their illnesses progress into pneumonia, blood poisoning, total kidney failure, etc. I have seen too many people die of this! I'd much rather have a doctor tell me, "you really don't need antibiotics for this," than have to go through bags and bags of IV antibiotics in the hospital in an attempt to rescue me from block-headedness.
Monday, May 5, 2014
A New, Uncommon Luxury
When my children were school-age and asked to stay home because they didn't feel good enough to go to school, I had two criteria: was a fever present? or were they spitting up? Otherwise, they had to get themselves out the door to the bus on time. After several stay-at-home illnesses, I quickly found out that there also had to be another 'sick rule:' if you were sick enough to be home, you surely had to stay in bed, in your room; NO TV! This worked out well (there was only one TV in the house - in the living room). Fortunately, they were very healthy and had the common childhood illnesses before they were in kindergarten (now there's vaccines for them!).
During my working-at-a-paying-nursing-job years, my friends marveled that I was never sick. "How do you keep from catching everything when you're around all those sick people all day?" I was asked time and time again. One secret was hand-washing. All the nurses I knew and I had strict hand-washing habits. Another secret was that we had to be at work, unless we were recovering from surgery or childbirth or a car accident, in other words, something major. For a generic cold or cough, we'd take medicine and wear the face masks all day if we could possibly function.
Late yesterday evening, my nose started running slightly and I started sneezing. It has been so many years that I've even had a little cold! I decided to not take any decongestant meds and just see what happened. This morning I still had a little 'nose' problem but, in addition, I felt weak as a dripping wet dishrag!
I determined that I would just sit around and read or watch TV today - all day - and drink lots more liquids. And that's what I've done, for the first time in my life! If you're a parent or have a regular job, you have to take care of someone or be somewhere, duties that don't allow 'days off.'
Sure, I have plenty of tasks I would like to do and need to do, but they are all waiting at least one more day. Living through this cold without medicine has the added benefit of no side effects.
The nurse in me must mention to you that you don't catch colds (upper respiratory illnesses) mainly by being sneezed on, you catch them by picking up a cold-type virus from a hard surface and putting your hand into your mouth. I obviously lapsed recently! I try to not be a germ-o-phobe but try to not touch public restroom doors on the way out after I've washed my hands. Train yourself to never touch your mouth or eyes with your hands and you'll avoid many aggravating illnesses.
By tomorrow, I hope to be energetic and fully recovered.
Dear Lord, you know how often I prayed over and with my patients and their families, and for my family when they've been sick! I remember all those you cured of their illnesses when you walked this earth. Please give extra hope to all those who are suffering with minor and major illnesses, both curable and incurable. Strengthen their families and those hard-working health care workers who try to help them. Thank you for my health and energy; help me to use this to do your work!
During my working-at-a-paying-nursing-job years, my friends marveled that I was never sick. "How do you keep from catching everything when you're around all those sick people all day?" I was asked time and time again. One secret was hand-washing. All the nurses I knew and I had strict hand-washing habits. Another secret was that we had to be at work, unless we were recovering from surgery or childbirth or a car accident, in other words, something major. For a generic cold or cough, we'd take medicine and wear the face masks all day if we could possibly function.
Late yesterday evening, my nose started running slightly and I started sneezing. It has been so many years that I've even had a little cold! I decided to not take any decongestant meds and just see what happened. This morning I still had a little 'nose' problem but, in addition, I felt weak as a dripping wet dishrag!
I determined that I would just sit around and read or watch TV today - all day - and drink lots more liquids. And that's what I've done, for the first time in my life! If you're a parent or have a regular job, you have to take care of someone or be somewhere, duties that don't allow 'days off.'
Sure, I have plenty of tasks I would like to do and need to do, but they are all waiting at least one more day. Living through this cold without medicine has the added benefit of no side effects.
The nurse in me must mention to you that you don't catch colds (upper respiratory illnesses) mainly by being sneezed on, you catch them by picking up a cold-type virus from a hard surface and putting your hand into your mouth. I obviously lapsed recently! I try to not be a germ-o-phobe but try to not touch public restroom doors on the way out after I've washed my hands. Train yourself to never touch your mouth or eyes with your hands and you'll avoid many aggravating illnesses.
By tomorrow, I hope to be energetic and fully recovered.
Dear Lord, you know how often I prayed over and with my patients and their families, and for my family when they've been sick! I remember all those you cured of their illnesses when you walked this earth. Please give extra hope to all those who are suffering with minor and major illnesses, both curable and incurable. Strengthen their families and those hard-working health care workers who try to help them. Thank you for my health and energy; help me to use this to do your work!
Sunday, May 4, 2014
The Infrequent Visitor
Today an older gentleman of my acquaintance asked to join our family at church this morning. On the way, we had a spirited discussion of God, church, God's plans, and other religious topics. James admitted that it had been so long he had gone to any church, he didn't even remember it. But he felt he needed to thank God that he was recovering from a recent life-threatening episode.
James reported that he had always felt close to God, tried to live a good life, had not killed anyone or cheated on his wife, and tried to raise his children with good values. He said that he was able to talk to God (pray!) anywhere, especially out-of-doors when he was able. In these basic beliefs, James is part of the millions of people who believe in God but feel no particular need for regular church participation.
I responded to James that I, also, had wrestled with those ideas for years: what value is church when you can 'talk to God' anytime, anyplace? The main answers, in my opinion, is that 1) God deserves our PUBLIC WORSHIP and 2) it is important that we give WITNESS to others. Minor reasons to go to church regularly are 1) friends and fellowship, support from a caring community and 2) it is psychologically healthy to be a part of a worshiping community.
James said that he didn't know how long he had to live but didn't think it would be very long. I encouraged him to have a positive attitude and to continue to engage in healthy habits.
What does God want of us? He wants us to love him, wholeheartedly, for Himself, not for his gifts to us, although he accepts that kind of love also. God makes knowing what he wants us to do quite easy: His written directions for a clear road to heaven are in the BIBLE.
James said that the older he got, the more he thought about his death. He said that the last two funerals he attended, there were big mistakes (flowers were not delivered and a video was not shown) and he has instructed his children to not let anyone make mistakes for his funeral. I thought, "You won't care what goes on at your funeral, you will be in another place!" but held my tongue. I told him that I sung in the "Resurrection Choir" (only for funerals) at church and this reminded me (wholesomely) of my own death. You gotta be ready!! I told him of the 10-day period two weeks ago when we had 5 funerals in one week, then, in two days, had two more funerals. He was not impressed.
He never told us what he thought of the service or the church. He didn't think he had ever been there before. But he was extremely attentive. James seemed to appreciate the friendly folks who shook his hand and who smiled at him. I was pleased that there were many involved in various jobs and the children's choir sounded like angels. Please pray that James continues to improve physically, and continues to think of God and perhaps starts attending church regularly. I told James we would be happy to have him join us anytime.
Lord, Sundays are always so inspiring and interesting! Help us all give good witness when we worship you, the source of our lives and love!
James reported that he had always felt close to God, tried to live a good life, had not killed anyone or cheated on his wife, and tried to raise his children with good values. He said that he was able to talk to God (pray!) anywhere, especially out-of-doors when he was able. In these basic beliefs, James is part of the millions of people who believe in God but feel no particular need for regular church participation.
I responded to James that I, also, had wrestled with those ideas for years: what value is church when you can 'talk to God' anytime, anyplace? The main answers, in my opinion, is that 1) God deserves our PUBLIC WORSHIP and 2) it is important that we give WITNESS to others. Minor reasons to go to church regularly are 1) friends and fellowship, support from a caring community and 2) it is psychologically healthy to be a part of a worshiping community.
James said that he didn't know how long he had to live but didn't think it would be very long. I encouraged him to have a positive attitude and to continue to engage in healthy habits.
What does God want of us? He wants us to love him, wholeheartedly, for Himself, not for his gifts to us, although he accepts that kind of love also. God makes knowing what he wants us to do quite easy: His written directions for a clear road to heaven are in the BIBLE.
James said that the older he got, the more he thought about his death. He said that the last two funerals he attended, there were big mistakes (flowers were not delivered and a video was not shown) and he has instructed his children to not let anyone make mistakes for his funeral. I thought, "You won't care what goes on at your funeral, you will be in another place!" but held my tongue. I told him that I sung in the "Resurrection Choir" (only for funerals) at church and this reminded me (wholesomely) of my own death. You gotta be ready!! I told him of the 10-day period two weeks ago when we had 5 funerals in one week, then, in two days, had two more funerals. He was not impressed.
He never told us what he thought of the service or the church. He didn't think he had ever been there before. But he was extremely attentive. James seemed to appreciate the friendly folks who shook his hand and who smiled at him. I was pleased that there were many involved in various jobs and the children's choir sounded like angels. Please pray that James continues to improve physically, and continues to think of God and perhaps starts attending church regularly. I told James we would be happy to have him join us anytime.
Lord, Sundays are always so inspiring and interesting! Help us all give good witness when we worship you, the source of our lives and love!
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Digging Today
What does the word, 'digging,' suggest to you? Turning over piles of clothes in yard sales? Sorting through mounds of books at flea markets? Planting flowers or vegetables? Creating a new irrigation ditch? Searching through documents in hopes of finding more ancestors? Or all of the above?
Today was the Derby Day in Louisville, Kentucky, U.S.A., the day our area is statistically past all threat of frosty, freezing weather. It was warm and dry, perfect for working in the yard planting tomatoes and flowers. So, that's what I did, happily, dig places for two tomato plants and lots of flowers, a good start to beautify my yard with color.
Today was the Derby Day in Louisville, Kentucky, U.S.A., the day our area is statistically past all threat of frosty, freezing weather. It was warm and dry, perfect for working in the yard planting tomatoes and flowers. So, that's what I did, happily, dig places for two tomato plants and lots of flowers, a good start to beautify my yard with color.
Thought I'd try putting my tomato plants in pots instead of in the ground. Perhaps they'll produce more. And I could easily wrap netting around them to keep out the critters. The two cages fit in the pots easily. The rest have flowers.
Just flowers - I liked the colors. I've heard that red flowers attract hummingbirds.
I also reassembled the bird feeder and filled it with water for the first time this year. I have a lot of weeds already. So what! I've got the whole summer to get rid of them!
Be sure and spend some time, take the time, just to do something fun for yourself!
Friday, May 2, 2014
The Cadillac
Growing up, our family always had 'sensible' cars, Fords or Chevys. One time my brothers and I saw a big Cadillac and went on and on about how beautiful it was. We had absolutely no idea of cost comparison between cars, we just knew that 'rich' people owned Cadillacs. Daddy told us, "I could afford a Cadillac. I just can't afford the things that go with it."
Daddy was a man of few words but they always seemed wise. That comment of his has stayed with me all these years. He was correct, if you consider that living up to the 'wealthy' image consists of more than a particular brand of car. A rich person should (in our childhood opinions) dress the part (women must wear long fur coats!) and patronize expensive stores and restaurants, take vacations to far-away places, etc. So, while Daddy may have afforded the Cadillac car payment, which now I seriously doubt he could have, at the time, he couldn't afford all the other expectations for a wealthy appearance.
I wonder how many of us over-budgeted and maxed-out credit card carrying Americans have ever realized what we're doing? We buy this luxury and that luxury on credit, hoping there's not a rainy day coming our way, and then work too hard to pay them off (I'm not pointing fingers, I've been there before). Do we think we're 'rich?' Are we acting like we're 'rich?' Why do we always have to own the latest of any new gadget? What was wrong with the old one?
Definitely I don't fit in with the Consumer Culture of America - buy, buy, buy!!! Sometimes it's hard to be good stewards of our resources, but you sleep better at night if you're not juggling bills to pay credit cards!
Lord, we ought to realize that each and every object we possess, and also our good character qualities come from you! We hope to do our best to be good caretakers of all our blessings!
Daddy was a man of few words but they always seemed wise. That comment of his has stayed with me all these years. He was correct, if you consider that living up to the 'wealthy' image consists of more than a particular brand of car. A rich person should (in our childhood opinions) dress the part (women must wear long fur coats!) and patronize expensive stores and restaurants, take vacations to far-away places, etc. So, while Daddy may have afforded the Cadillac car payment, which now I seriously doubt he could have, at the time, he couldn't afford all the other expectations for a wealthy appearance.
I wonder how many of us over-budgeted and maxed-out credit card carrying Americans have ever realized what we're doing? We buy this luxury and that luxury on credit, hoping there's not a rainy day coming our way, and then work too hard to pay them off (I'm not pointing fingers, I've been there before). Do we think we're 'rich?' Are we acting like we're 'rich?' Why do we always have to own the latest of any new gadget? What was wrong with the old one?
Definitely I don't fit in with the Consumer Culture of America - buy, buy, buy!!! Sometimes it's hard to be good stewards of our resources, but you sleep better at night if you're not juggling bills to pay credit cards!
Lord, we ought to realize that each and every object we possess, and also our good character qualities come from you! We hope to do our best to be good caretakers of all our blessings!
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Rocks, Baggage #7
Some years ago at church, I was going down the stairs and a strange man came over to me. He pointed to the purse hanging on my shoulder and remarked, "You know, they do have smaller ones." Perhaps my shoulder looked 'weighed down' or something. I didn't know what to say, shrugged, and went on.
When I got home, I thought, "Well, it's been a long time since I cleaned out my (very large) purse so I will." After all items were on the table, I was amazed; I had been carrying two medium-sized rocks I had collected for a souvenir when my brothers and I met and visited Lake Erie in Cleveland. Those rocks had been in my purse for months! No wonder I looked weighed down, I was.
This morning I remembered that episode, I guess, because I really felt 'weighed down.' I try to maintain a positive, upbeat attitude but will admit that it is difficult 100% of the time. In addition to several sad family events, there are the usual political intrigues, weather disasters, etc. Then there are the thoughts, "If only I had done this . . . maybe that wouldn't have happened. . ." and the run-of-the-mill motherly guilt, "I should have been a better mother. . ." All this added up to make me have a restless night, oversleep and almost be late this morning for the last Bible Study meeting of spring. My friendly sisters there helped more than they know with their cheerfulness, support, and hugs.
Returning home, I "got a grip," poured myself a fresh cup of coffee, sat down and took stock. I shouldn't be ruminating about all these events over which I have absolutely no control. Instead, I need to count all my wonderful blessings! And a few prayers and a short nap helped, too. Now I'm back to my usual, energetic, productive and happy self.
Remembering past hurts and present disasters are just like those rocks I was carrying: too heavy! We need to leave the past in the past, not carrying extra rocks or 'baggage.' If we ever, ever get discouraged, we need to just lay our troubles at the feet of Our Lord, Jesus. He doesn't want us to keep suffering for what we have suffered for, time and time again.
If you're a chronic worrier, you may want to check out the other blogs I've posted on this topic: "#1: Work Ethic (Sept. 10, 2013), #2: Expectations (Sept. 13, 2013), #3: Chronic or Current Illness (Sept. 22, 2013), #4: Parent Love (Sept. 23, 2013), #5: Past Memories of Cruelties (Oct. 14, 2013), and #6: Past Decisions (Feb. 6, 2014). Unload your burdens!!
Lord, I thank you once again, for helping me put down my 'baggage.' Please help us all realize when we may be burdening ourselves unnecessarily.
When I got home, I thought, "Well, it's been a long time since I cleaned out my (very large) purse so I will." After all items were on the table, I was amazed; I had been carrying two medium-sized rocks I had collected for a souvenir when my brothers and I met and visited Lake Erie in Cleveland. Those rocks had been in my purse for months! No wonder I looked weighed down, I was.
This morning I remembered that episode, I guess, because I really felt 'weighed down.' I try to maintain a positive, upbeat attitude but will admit that it is difficult 100% of the time. In addition to several sad family events, there are the usual political intrigues, weather disasters, etc. Then there are the thoughts, "If only I had done this . . . maybe that wouldn't have happened. . ." and the run-of-the-mill motherly guilt, "I should have been a better mother. . ." All this added up to make me have a restless night, oversleep and almost be late this morning for the last Bible Study meeting of spring. My friendly sisters there helped more than they know with their cheerfulness, support, and hugs.
Returning home, I "got a grip," poured myself a fresh cup of coffee, sat down and took stock. I shouldn't be ruminating about all these events over which I have absolutely no control. Instead, I need to count all my wonderful blessings! And a few prayers and a short nap helped, too. Now I'm back to my usual, energetic, productive and happy self.
Remembering past hurts and present disasters are just like those rocks I was carrying: too heavy! We need to leave the past in the past, not carrying extra rocks or 'baggage.' If we ever, ever get discouraged, we need to just lay our troubles at the feet of Our Lord, Jesus. He doesn't want us to keep suffering for what we have suffered for, time and time again.
If you're a chronic worrier, you may want to check out the other blogs I've posted on this topic: "#1: Work Ethic (Sept. 10, 2013), #2: Expectations (Sept. 13, 2013), #3: Chronic or Current Illness (Sept. 22, 2013), #4: Parent Love (Sept. 23, 2013), #5: Past Memories of Cruelties (Oct. 14, 2013), and #6: Past Decisions (Feb. 6, 2014). Unload your burdens!!
Lord, I thank you once again, for helping me put down my 'baggage.' Please help us all realize when we may be burdening ourselves unnecessarily.
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