There are quite a few folks who have good jobs and can spend, spend, spend! They have no trouble paying bills and some might even have enough to buy stocks, and save for the future. It would appear to all who know them that they really spoil themselves with all sorts of gadgets, clothes, trips, etc. A person in this situation may be totally devastated if he or she lost the great job and couldn't quickly (or ever) get another one.
Years ago, in one of my previous careers, I was a seamstress. One of my ladies, Evelyn, was extremely well-off. She was a single woman, in her fifties, and had worked as a sales rep for many years for the same company. Evelyn always enjoyed new cars and a fine, big home, enabled her grandson to stay unemployed because she supported him, and had lots of beautiful clothes, custom-made by me. All of a sudden, Evelyn was fired in a company down-size move. As an older woman who had experience in only one job, she couldn't find a similar job and had to work as a Wal-mart clerk. She ended up selling lots of her possessions and her large home. Her grandson didn't want to move into her house so he got a fast-food job and survived. The last time I saw her, her appearance had aged twenty years or more because of this loss.
Contrast this with the Americans who lived during the Great Depression of the 1930's. The ones that survived, like my grandparents, knew how to live cheaply. Grandpa's salary was cut 50% then, and Grandma had to go to work scrubbing floors for rich women. Neither had an education past the sixth grade yet they were wise and street-smart. When Grandma died in 1980 (after Grandpa died in 1974), they owned three small houses in the Germantown section of Louisville, Kentucky.
How did they - and all the successful folks of their era - accomplish this? 1) There were absolutely NO FRILLS in their lives. Eventually, they owned cars, but for years, Grandpa walked to work and saved the 10 cents he could have spent riding the trolley. I remember walking with Grandma to church and shopping as a little girl. 2) They raised their own vegetables and preserved them by canning. 3) Everything they bought was used fully. If one of Grandma's dresses or Grandpa's shirts were worn and shabby, Grandma saved them and used the scraps to make quilts for their beds. Nothing was wasted, NOTHING! 4) They managed to save a very small amount - the change from Grandpa's pay every week. In 20 or 30 years, they had enough to buy false teeth for both of them. 5) There were no thoughts about what was fashionable. The criteria for all purchases was quality.
Since virtually all Americans except the very few rich were living in the same circumstances, and doing the best they could, I don't think there was a feeling of "poverty." They could eat, they had a roof over their heads, they had each other, and appeared to be surviving well. They felt blessed.
I never thought about it until today, but I'm in a similar situation now. After I retired last year, my income was approximately 50% of what I earned when I was working. It definitely has been challenging to live with this, but I'm fairly sure I can do it. Since I had a large family, I have lots of skills in stretching income! And, you know what? It probably is healthier to 'cook from scratch!'
The bottom line is to think of low income, if you ever find yourself in that situation, as challenging, not negatively, as poverty! So, I don't get a new car every few years, so what! I plan on trying to get at least 600,000 miles out of my current 2007 Toyota! It might not be pretty by then, but it will run!
Dear God, we know without a doubt that You provide for us what we NEED, in abundance! We thank You sincerely!
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Ready for Anything, #3: Mental Illness
When I was a young mother with young children, I must have been feeling particularly vulnerable. I had no college degree and if I had to support the family, I couldn't. One day, I 'took stock' of all the bad things that could happen to our family, how we would handle each one, and the worst that could happen. I listed natural disasters such as tornado, fire, job loss of my husband, cancer or another incurable illness in any one of us, and major mental illness in either my husband or myself.
I decided that we could probably cope with just about anything except if my husband had a major mental illness. Later - years later - I could see, as a psychiatric nurse, that I was spot on! Fortunately, we were incredibly blessed in that no such disaster ever occurred.
On the behavioral medicine unit of the hospital, I could see that, if a child or teenager manifested a major mental illness such as illegal drug/alcohol use/overdoses or schizophrenia, it was very, very hard on the family, but they would pull together and do their best to help the affected one. If the mother had drug problems, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or major depression, most families would help each other and the mother, and survive. But, if the father suddenly was hospitalized with a major mental illness, it was much harder on the families and many of them split up. I don't remember ever seeing any statistics on this, it was just from personal recollection.
On our unit, I never saw a child or teenager diagnosed with bipolar disorder although it is more common now. There was plenty of patients with "oppositional-defiance disorders," but we came to believe that the children who ran away from home, argued non-stop with parents and teachers, were chiefly showing the results of an extremely dysfunctional parental relationship, that they really had no mental illness at all. I'm sure that a few young folks with this diagnosis came from 'good homes' in which the parents functioned well, but those were the exception.
If someone, either a child, teenager, or adult is hospitalized with clinical depression, the expected outcome is very good. The person will usually be helped with medication and counseling. We had many adult female patients with major depression but very few males. It was sad that most of them had attempted suicide. Don't forget: whatever happens to you, YOU ALWAYS HAVE OPTIONS!!
Schizophrenia is a relatively rare (compared with heart disease, etc.) but very serious brain disease that results in a mental disorder. Approximately 1% of the world's population live with this tragic disease. The patients actually may see and hear things that normal people won't see or hear. Medicine will usually eliminate this but the patient still may have disordered thoughts. Although some will recover completely, many will just have to try to manage their symptoms for the rest of their lives. A giant problem is that they think there is nothing wrong with them, but the problems are with the rest of the world! Therefore, they don't feel the need to continue to take the medicine that was prescribed for them once they leave the hospital.
Alzheimer's disease is another major mental illness a family may have to face, but not usually until later in life. It, also, is a tragic disease, one for which there is currently no cure, and one for which medications aren't much help at any stage. I personally judge this to be the most tragic of all diseases because it gradually robs a person of his or her entire personality and eventually life. Here, also, families generally help out so that the wife or husband of the afflicted one doesn't bear the entire burden. I have known plenty of caretakers, though, who have insisted on 'going it alone.' They almost always wear themselves out and may even die before the patient with Alzheimer's disease.
Dear Lord, the Bottom Line in having a family member with a serious mental illness is that we have to help each other as much as possible. Please help us do our best with our sick family members and friends!
I decided that we could probably cope with just about anything except if my husband had a major mental illness. Later - years later - I could see, as a psychiatric nurse, that I was spot on! Fortunately, we were incredibly blessed in that no such disaster ever occurred.
On the behavioral medicine unit of the hospital, I could see that, if a child or teenager manifested a major mental illness such as illegal drug/alcohol use/overdoses or schizophrenia, it was very, very hard on the family, but they would pull together and do their best to help the affected one. If the mother had drug problems, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or major depression, most families would help each other and the mother, and survive. But, if the father suddenly was hospitalized with a major mental illness, it was much harder on the families and many of them split up. I don't remember ever seeing any statistics on this, it was just from personal recollection.
On our unit, I never saw a child or teenager diagnosed with bipolar disorder although it is more common now. There was plenty of patients with "oppositional-defiance disorders," but we came to believe that the children who ran away from home, argued non-stop with parents and teachers, were chiefly showing the results of an extremely dysfunctional parental relationship, that they really had no mental illness at all. I'm sure that a few young folks with this diagnosis came from 'good homes' in which the parents functioned well, but those were the exception.
If someone, either a child, teenager, or adult is hospitalized with clinical depression, the expected outcome is very good. The person will usually be helped with medication and counseling. We had many adult female patients with major depression but very few males. It was sad that most of them had attempted suicide. Don't forget: whatever happens to you, YOU ALWAYS HAVE OPTIONS!!
Schizophrenia is a relatively rare (compared with heart disease, etc.) but very serious brain disease that results in a mental disorder. Approximately 1% of the world's population live with this tragic disease. The patients actually may see and hear things that normal people won't see or hear. Medicine will usually eliminate this but the patient still may have disordered thoughts. Although some will recover completely, many will just have to try to manage their symptoms for the rest of their lives. A giant problem is that they think there is nothing wrong with them, but the problems are with the rest of the world! Therefore, they don't feel the need to continue to take the medicine that was prescribed for them once they leave the hospital.
Alzheimer's disease is another major mental illness a family may have to face, but not usually until later in life. It, also, is a tragic disease, one for which there is currently no cure, and one for which medications aren't much help at any stage. I personally judge this to be the most tragic of all diseases because it gradually robs a person of his or her entire personality and eventually life. Here, also, families generally help out so that the wife or husband of the afflicted one doesn't bear the entire burden. I have known plenty of caretakers, though, who have insisted on 'going it alone.' They almost always wear themselves out and may even die before the patient with Alzheimer's disease.
Dear Lord, the Bottom Line in having a family member with a serious mental illness is that we have to help each other as much as possible. Please help us do our best with our sick family members and friends!
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Reunion!
Yesterday my Lexington area family members came over for dinner to honor their visiting Uncle Don and Aunt Kathleen, on their way from a Canada vacation to home in South Florida. We had a fabulous time! The last time Don and Kathleen saw my granddaughter, Sarah, now 11, was when she was six weeks old at Don and my Father's death in 2003 (Sarah didn't remember that!). Everyone ate and chatted for hours.
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| Last night, Kathleen, Don, and I ate dinner at Coba restaurant. They are standing in front of the Moon Jellyfish tank. |
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| Gathered for a mini-reunion, as related to me, kneeling in front: Daughter #7, Marie, Carole's children Claire, Sarah, & Benjamin (Elizabeth had to go to work and left), in back, from left: Heather (who is daughter #4 Theresa's daughter (her son, John, was working, as was Theresa), my brother, Don & sister-in-law, Kathleen, me/Jan, and daughter #2, Carole. Marie's husband, Charles, was the photographer. 7/28/14.
What exactly are the benefits of any kind of a special reunion? First, it's so good to see folks you haven't seen for a long time. Next, it's important for children to know the relatives who live far away that they rarely, if ever, get to see. Then, it's fun and the food is great!
Most of the time, our 'reunions' have happened at either weddings or funerals. This one was just for fun!
You hear of lots of folks skipping their high school reunions. I don't understand why they don't want to go. Everyone has grown up! Of course, there might be a little of the juvenile 'cattiness,' so what! I was able to travel to Louisville, Kentucky, for all but one of my high school reunions and all of my elementary school reunions! I enjoyed each and every one! However, the older you get, it seems that some more of your old friends pass away. But there are bonds to be maintained!
The first elementary school reunion we held came 25 years after graduation. It was great to see our 'brothers and sisters!'
There were teachers at some of the reunions. That also was interesting. They couldn't have been much older than we were at the time!
Dear Lord, thank you very, very much for a very successful family reunion! Please watch over Kathleen and Don on their long drive back home to Florida!
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Sunday, July 27, 2014
Two Ladies' Stories
While sitting in a 100% full waiting room at a mammogram screening center earlier this week, we all got to chatting. Then one lady mentioned, "Annual mammograms saved my life!" She went on to say that six years ago, her routine mammogram showed a cancerous lump. As her doctor recommended, she went on to have surgery to remove the lump, radiation and chemotherapy. She correctly boasted, "I've been free of cancer for five years now!" What a wonderful success story for Lady Number One.
Both the Mayo Clinic and American Cancer Society recommend annual mammograms for women beginning at age 40 and every year thereafter. We can never neglect this! It would be a pity for the cancer to spread elsewhere in the body and, when it finally was so large it was painful, for the surgeon to tell us: "It is inoperable." In other words, it has spread so extensively that the surgery would kill you before the cancer did. I've had far too many patients dying of cancer. Don't let it be you!
Several years ago when I visited my brother and sister-in-law in Ireland, I accompanied Kathleen to her annual mammogram. We drove for at least a half hour out in the country to reach the screening van in one of the small towns. She asked me, "When do they stop doing mammograms in America?" I told her, "They don't. It's a danger all our lives. We get screened all our lives." Kathleen said, "In Ireland, they stop doing them after age 65." So much for socialized medicine! We don't want that in America! It always means LESS CARE!!
Lady Number Two had a different diagnosis and will soon have a different outcome - death! She has smoked heavily all her life. Now, in her early sixties, she's in the late stages of C.O.P.D. (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). 'Obstructive' means the air can't get into her body adequately due to hardening of the tiny passages. She's been on oxygen for many years. For years, she hasn't been able to walk more than several steps before she gets out of breath. She has smoked while she was on oxygen, a really dangerous practice.
She didn't do hardly a thing her doctor recommended, whether it was take particular medicine or eat a special diet. Right now she weighs 93 pounds. She's in the I.C.U., on the ventilator. I expect she will be dead before the end several more days - or maybe tonight.
The point of relaying these two stories to you is not to give you health incentive, although if you got that, it would be good. The point is to 1) follow your doctor's recommendations to be healthy and feel good, even if you have to give up something hard, like smoking, overeating, etc. and 2) if you love someone, encourage them to get their annual screenings! It saves lives - maybe yours! It prevents early deaths - maybe yours!
Lord God, sometimes we are afraid to get health check-ups (what if they find something?) and sometimes we're just too cheap! Help us take good care of these bodies You have given us so we may do the work You would like us to do!
P.S.: men get breast cancer, too, and need their annual screenings!
Both the Mayo Clinic and American Cancer Society recommend annual mammograms for women beginning at age 40 and every year thereafter. We can never neglect this! It would be a pity for the cancer to spread elsewhere in the body and, when it finally was so large it was painful, for the surgeon to tell us: "It is inoperable." In other words, it has spread so extensively that the surgery would kill you before the cancer did. I've had far too many patients dying of cancer. Don't let it be you!
Several years ago when I visited my brother and sister-in-law in Ireland, I accompanied Kathleen to her annual mammogram. We drove for at least a half hour out in the country to reach the screening van in one of the small towns. She asked me, "When do they stop doing mammograms in America?" I told her, "They don't. It's a danger all our lives. We get screened all our lives." Kathleen said, "In Ireland, they stop doing them after age 65." So much for socialized medicine! We don't want that in America! It always means LESS CARE!!
Lady Number Two had a different diagnosis and will soon have a different outcome - death! She has smoked heavily all her life. Now, in her early sixties, she's in the late stages of C.O.P.D. (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). 'Obstructive' means the air can't get into her body adequately due to hardening of the tiny passages. She's been on oxygen for many years. For years, she hasn't been able to walk more than several steps before she gets out of breath. She has smoked while she was on oxygen, a really dangerous practice.
She didn't do hardly a thing her doctor recommended, whether it was take particular medicine or eat a special diet. Right now she weighs 93 pounds. She's in the I.C.U., on the ventilator. I expect she will be dead before the end several more days - or maybe tonight.
The point of relaying these two stories to you is not to give you health incentive, although if you got that, it would be good. The point is to 1) follow your doctor's recommendations to be healthy and feel good, even if you have to give up something hard, like smoking, overeating, etc. and 2) if you love someone, encourage them to get their annual screenings! It saves lives - maybe yours! It prevents early deaths - maybe yours!
Lord God, sometimes we are afraid to get health check-ups (what if they find something?) and sometimes we're just too cheap! Help us take good care of these bodies You have given us so we may do the work You would like us to do!
P.S.: men get breast cancer, too, and need their annual screenings!
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Every Day, a New Challenge!
I'm really proud to say, that with the exceptions of having my dear son-in-law, Charles, install the new ceiling fan, and getting the carpets professionally cleaned, I have done all the work myself! In the past few years, I've always had at least one live-in son or daughter (with amazingly helpful boyfriends!) willing to pitch in when needed.
As far as putting in the hard, dirty, sweaty work, I don't mind. Even if I could afford it, I'm too cheap to pay anyone for something I could do myself. Why, then, has it been so difficult for me? One reason is that the devices I have to remove to paint don't come with re-installation directions. Also, I find it brain-stretching to figure out what should be simple installation instructions for new devices. And then, there were many times I just could have used another hand to hold something while I screw it in.
Yesterday, my challenge was installing a new curtain rod above the window. I've done this many times. The directions were horrible so I decided to dispense with them. With cordless drill/screwdriver in hand, it shouldn't have been a big job but - I couldn't find my level. I just used it a couple of days ago to level the bird bath in the back yard but it was nowhere to be found. Oh, I forgot to pray to St. Anthony, who always helps me find lost things. So I just measured from the top of the window opening. I guess it's level. It looks OK.
Today (actually I've tried to figure this out for the past week) my successful challenge was to re-install a door handle/lock on the bedroom door. My son had removed it but never got around to putting in the new fancy one. I wanted it to match the rest of the door handles in the house so I wanted to use the old one which was perfectly good. But I had never done it before now. How hard could this be? I found it very complicated! I looked at the other door handles to decide how it should look when installed. It was hard to connect the outer and inner handles. I had to try many different ways. Finally, today I grabbed a flashlight to try to visualize the inner workings. I got on the internet to try to learn how but the inner parts of the lock didn't look like the instructions I found. Finally, I got it put together!! If I would have thought of it at the time, I would have done a little dance!
Wouldn't you think it would be easy to put up a new shower curtain rod? Not for me! The darn thing slipped all over the wall and I had to give up at least four or five times to try again before I finally got it. I hope it stays up!!
What about installing a new ceiling heating/cooling vent? Shouldn't it be easy to put it up with two measly screws? No way - not for me! My hands just aren't big enough to hold the vent up, hold the screw in place to start it and hold the screwdriver and get it into the correct hole in the ceiling while balancing on a ladder. This was my worst instance for getting so frustrated I had to quit and come back to it another time. In the end, I decided to use the old screws from the rusted vent and they worked.
I wished I had counted all the rolls of blue painter's tape I used. At least I'm halfway good at blocking off walls and woodwork to be painted. And I'm getting better at painting all the time. This time I painted the inside-facing doors to freshen them. Didn't take any time at all! (Note: I don't take doors off hinges or closet tracks to paint; they're too heavy - I just block off the hinges with the handy blue tape!)
I SO ADMIRE MEN! All of them seem to be able to install anything so easily! - mostly without even looking at the directions! Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's handed down, father to son, to have this wonderful mechanical inclination. Anyway, I don't have it but I muddle along as best I can.
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| The drapery just finished today matches the pillows made from leftover fabric from the draperies in my last house. I always buy a little extra fabric from decorating projects. This drapery fabric had been saved for 14 years! |
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| Daughter #7's brass bed. I couldn't resist putting several Sea Birds on the bedside tables! |
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| Don't you think everybody NEEDS a red bathroom! |
Praise You, Sweet Jesus, my Lord, for helping me stay with this challenging project until completion! I thank You and I love You!
Friday, July 25, 2014
Leadership and Followership
It is said that an ideal leader has to be a follower first. That makes sense, right? I'm privileged to be a member of an ideal group, one in which each and every person actually could be the only leader, if it was necessary. We have two co-leaders which divide up the 'organizing' work and the business of the meetings perfectly. And the rest of us trust each other and our two leaders so that we can be great, dynamic, 100% contributing followers.
What is this amazing group: it is a faith-sharing women's group. At our first meeting, early in the year, we decided if we wanted to meet. Actually, I didn't want to meet at all because I already have quite enough activity in my life. I knew some of the ladies and knew that they also had no intention of adding yet another committee to their already jam-packed lives.
We started with a guide book that suggested an equitable way to divide the tasks according to each one's gifts/abilities/desires. With all of the strong personalities, I knew there might be a lot of controversy, especially concerning leadership. There were many different 'jobs,' each requiring a big commitment.
Wisely, very wisely, we started the first - and each subsequent meeting - with prayers and Bible readings. We feel the work is important and ask Almighty God for guidance. I consider the first meeting absolutely miraculous! Each of us had prayerfully considered which job we felt 'called' to take on. We were encouraged to help each other and suggest a good fit for person to job.
In the end of the first meeting, every single job had been taken, commitments were made by all. I have never seen any group function so well, right from the first! This promises to be a valuable (spiritually!) enterprise!
Praise You, O Lord, for the sheer Joy of being a member of a wonderful group! Praise You for uplifting, hard-working leaders and followers! Please continue to bless our work and continue to make this group a priority in our lives!
What is this amazing group: it is a faith-sharing women's group. At our first meeting, early in the year, we decided if we wanted to meet. Actually, I didn't want to meet at all because I already have quite enough activity in my life. I knew some of the ladies and knew that they also had no intention of adding yet another committee to their already jam-packed lives.
We started with a guide book that suggested an equitable way to divide the tasks according to each one's gifts/abilities/desires. With all of the strong personalities, I knew there might be a lot of controversy, especially concerning leadership. There were many different 'jobs,' each requiring a big commitment.
Wisely, very wisely, we started the first - and each subsequent meeting - with prayers and Bible readings. We feel the work is important and ask Almighty God for guidance. I consider the first meeting absolutely miraculous! Each of us had prayerfully considered which job we felt 'called' to take on. We were encouraged to help each other and suggest a good fit for person to job.
In the end of the first meeting, every single job had been taken, commitments were made by all. I have never seen any group function so well, right from the first! This promises to be a valuable (spiritually!) enterprise!
Praise You, O Lord, for the sheer Joy of being a member of a wonderful group! Praise You for uplifting, hard-working leaders and followers! Please continue to bless our work and continue to make this group a priority in our lives!
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Ready for Anything! #2: War!
Of course, you see in the news all the war zones in the world, Israel and the Middle East, Africa, and the Ukraine. Such a waste of people and resources! Such death and pain! I'm sure it's too simple, but what if we had a really strong, really united, United Nations organization which forbade war and invasion. If two leaders of their countries tried aggression, they would be immediately stopped. Somehow, someday, this insanity will end!
Is there any way a person could be 'ready' for war? I seriously don't think so. Perhaps the only preparation would be to be aware of the political situation, and if war seemed imminent, just leave as soon as possible and travel as far as you could afford. How many of our American citizens have left war-torn countries with scarcely more than the clothes on their backs!
When I was in college the first time (1961-1963), I tutored a guy from the new Communist nation of Cuba. I helped him with English and he helped me with Spanish. I also learned that his family left quickly, unable to bring anything with them. They were afraid of being killed because his parents were teachers.
One of my church friends was five years old when her family fled Yugoslavia. The Communist rulers there were so against Christians she mentioned that it was many years before she overcame her fear of going into churches in America.
Since my Army dad was stationed in Germany after World War II, I lived there with my family for two years. I remember the areas that were bombed: streets were cleared of rubble but there was block after block with just piles of bricks where the buildings had fallen.
When my daughter, Theresa, and I visited Israel last fall, we felt very safe due to the presence of Israeli soldiers in many places, all armed with machine guns. How dreadful that the holy sites may be bombed now!
I hope and pray we all value our democracy and our freedoms!
Lord in heaven, You must be as tired as we are of all the senseless violence in our world, Your world. Help us help those who are victims. Help us keep the will to keep America strong!
Is there any way a person could be 'ready' for war? I seriously don't think so. Perhaps the only preparation would be to be aware of the political situation, and if war seemed imminent, just leave as soon as possible and travel as far as you could afford. How many of our American citizens have left war-torn countries with scarcely more than the clothes on their backs!
When I was in college the first time (1961-1963), I tutored a guy from the new Communist nation of Cuba. I helped him with English and he helped me with Spanish. I also learned that his family left quickly, unable to bring anything with them. They were afraid of being killed because his parents were teachers.
One of my church friends was five years old when her family fled Yugoslavia. The Communist rulers there were so against Christians she mentioned that it was many years before she overcame her fear of going into churches in America.
Since my Army dad was stationed in Germany after World War II, I lived there with my family for two years. I remember the areas that were bombed: streets were cleared of rubble but there was block after block with just piles of bricks where the buildings had fallen.
When my daughter, Theresa, and I visited Israel last fall, we felt very safe due to the presence of Israeli soldiers in many places, all armed with machine guns. How dreadful that the holy sites may be bombed now!
I hope and pray we all value our democracy and our freedoms!
Lord in heaven, You must be as tired as we are of all the senseless violence in our world, Your world. Help us help those who are victims. Help us keep the will to keep America strong!
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Hard Work!
Mother and Grandma told me countless times during my growing-up years, "Hard work never hurt anybody!" I live to say, "Yes!" to that today.
In my small back yard here in Lexington, Kentucky, I have a problem, a good problem: everything grows too well, especially the weeds. In two mornings, I have filled a whole big yard waste recycle bin with weeds and a few clippings from my overgrown bushes.
Something left behind from when my son moved out last fall proved to be a tremendous help: thick knee pads I could put on both knees. It made moving around on my knees very easy.
Minor "restructuring" or "re-defining" has also been accomplished. The area on one side of the patio was overgrown with a variety of nasty weeds. I clipped the big bush (mainly so I could see out my kitchen window!) and put mulch around it. Then I covered up a large area with black "weed mat" and laid down a covering of pebbles. On it now is a large flat rock and two terra cotta angels. I'm quite pleased with the results.
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| The Patio Angels. |
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| Bird bath and herbs, seen from the patio. |
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| Bird bath, seen from the yard, waiting for birds - and for me to fill it with water! |
Summer is grand! The yard and neighborhood is peaceful. If I sit quietly on a patio chair, I'll start to notice all the birds and squirrels. I haven't seen many chipmunks this year. I wonder: have the suddenly more numerous (and larger) squirrels chased away the chipmunks?
Oh, I know that by the time October gets here, I'll be ready again for fall and colder weather just to have a rest from the hard, sweaty work in the yard. But for now, it's wonderful!
Praise you, my Lord, for your beautiful plants and praise You for my strength and energy enough to push a full, heavy wheelbarrow everywhere, and for all the kneeling to pull nice plants which grew where I didn't want them!
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
A Wake-Up!
I'd like to think of myself as a mostly mellow person. Yet, a phone call yesterday showed me a new side of myself, one of which I'm not very proud. The occasion was the umteenth unsolicited call from the same phone number, telling me, "This is your last chance to take care of your credit problems. Stay on the line for a representative."
I haven't counted how many calls received in one day from the same phone number, but it probably varied from four to eight, minimum! Usually I'll ignore calls from an unfamiliar number. Then once I answered and found out what they were 'pitching,' I again let the phone ring. They never left a message.
After I called their number, there was a message: "This number is no longer in service." Go figure!
All these calls at random times throughout the day, every day, got aggravating so I planned on talking to a representative. I answered the next one, stayed on the line and waited. "You're the 32nd caller in line. . . you're the 20th caller in line . . . you're the. . ." I was determined! So I politely told the lady I had NO credit problems and to please take me off the calling list.
Then I received another phone call from the same company. I'll admit, that made me mad! I waited to talk with someone again and told her I absolutely wanted to be off the calling list. She told me, in an equally 'mad' voice, "You don't have to be HOSTILE!"
That word, "hostile," shook me up! I don't want to be nasty, no matter what the circumstances. She ended the call with, "Tell the next representative to take your name off the list."
I know phone solicitors have to earn a living and probably don't care if I take their services or not. But that's no reason to treat them badly.
Years ago, when there was only one phone company, on two separate occasions, I received harassing phone calls. When I could take no more, I called the phone company which put a tracer on the phone numbers involved. They informed me, "If you continue to receive calls from this number, we will discontinue their service." Quick end of problem!
Checking the Caller I.D., today I only had one call from that number.
Presently, I have phone service through the cable. Guess I'll have to call them and see what can be done.
But I'll definitely be 'nice,' not hostile about it!
Lord, please help me forgive myself for being sharp with people. Please help me be friendly, even if the other party is aggravating!
I haven't counted how many calls received in one day from the same phone number, but it probably varied from four to eight, minimum! Usually I'll ignore calls from an unfamiliar number. Then once I answered and found out what they were 'pitching,' I again let the phone ring. They never left a message.
After I called their number, there was a message: "This number is no longer in service." Go figure!
All these calls at random times throughout the day, every day, got aggravating so I planned on talking to a representative. I answered the next one, stayed on the line and waited. "You're the 32nd caller in line. . . you're the 20th caller in line . . . you're the. . ." I was determined! So I politely told the lady I had NO credit problems and to please take me off the calling list.
Then I received another phone call from the same company. I'll admit, that made me mad! I waited to talk with someone again and told her I absolutely wanted to be off the calling list. She told me, in an equally 'mad' voice, "You don't have to be HOSTILE!"
That word, "hostile," shook me up! I don't want to be nasty, no matter what the circumstances. She ended the call with, "Tell the next representative to take your name off the list."
I know phone solicitors have to earn a living and probably don't care if I take their services or not. But that's no reason to treat them badly.
Years ago, when there was only one phone company, on two separate occasions, I received harassing phone calls. When I could take no more, I called the phone company which put a tracer on the phone numbers involved. They informed me, "If you continue to receive calls from this number, we will discontinue their service." Quick end of problem!
Checking the Caller I.D., today I only had one call from that number.
Presently, I have phone service through the cable. Guess I'll have to call them and see what can be done.
But I'll definitely be 'nice,' not hostile about it!
Lord, please help me forgive myself for being sharp with people. Please help me be friendly, even if the other party is aggravating!
Monday, July 21, 2014
Pruning Mercilessly!
Today I'm pruning my rose bushes, cutting out the dead branches.They have not done very well this summer, with few roses blooming. In previous years the bushes were covered with beautiful red blooms. Perhaps they have not done well because I failed to prune them last fall. Pruning in the fall is supposed to result in new growth in the spring. I have to be careful and avoid being stuck by the bushes' sharp thorns.
This reminded me of the times I've heard about 'pruning' in the Bible. It seems that 'pruning,' if it is cutting out the 'dead wood,' or bad habits of our lives, is very good for us. We won't have to turn our brains inside out to discover what are our destructive habits, either self-destructive or harmful to others.
Probably at the top of every list of bad habits of Americans is watching internet pornography. This can not be mentioned too many times! It is destroying families! In pre-internet times, stores were encouraged to not stock magazines that featured attractive young women scantily clad. In some stores, they had to be covered with a brown paper 'wrapper.' At least back then (in the 70's or 80's?) this was considered 'trashy' and 'downgrading' to women.
Now worse filthy images can be easily brought into our homes or brought up on I-phones at any time. For a few years, questionable websites would come to my junkmail. I deleted them because the very topics offended me. I wondered why I was selected. Probably everyone, at one time or another, is bothered by this. Then all of a sudden I noticed they were no longer coming to junkmail. I imagine that if you never respond, eventually the messages will stop.
Some think that this is a 'victimless crime.' I couldn't disagree more! With personal knowledge of several families in which this problem has resulted in one spouse spending so many hours by himself to the neglect of his family, I know the very marriage is threatened at this time. This is not victimless!
There are plenty of other personal bad habits we could identify and try to uproot. Take laziness, for example. Or take its opposite, workaholicism. Either way, we could be focusing more on ourselves than on those who are important to us.
We could be indulging in so many of our favorite foods that we have a weight problem. That, indeed, seems to be a problem for many of us! What to do . . . ? We might try substituting a GOOD HABIT for that nagging problem that won't go away by itself.
Years ago I had a friend who really was addicted to eating grapes! She was terribly overweight and just couldn't get enough grapes! She moved out-of-town so I never knew what happened, if she kept this up for years and years. Seems like it should be easy to limit oneself to fewer of a good thing, or to cut it out entirely for a time.
If we can conquer at least some of our bad habits, we have power!! - the power to do good!
Lord, You and I both know what I have to do. Please give me the strength to persist!
This reminded me of the times I've heard about 'pruning' in the Bible. It seems that 'pruning,' if it is cutting out the 'dead wood,' or bad habits of our lives, is very good for us. We won't have to turn our brains inside out to discover what are our destructive habits, either self-destructive or harmful to others.
Probably at the top of every list of bad habits of Americans is watching internet pornography. This can not be mentioned too many times! It is destroying families! In pre-internet times, stores were encouraged to not stock magazines that featured attractive young women scantily clad. In some stores, they had to be covered with a brown paper 'wrapper.' At least back then (in the 70's or 80's?) this was considered 'trashy' and 'downgrading' to women.
Now worse filthy images can be easily brought into our homes or brought up on I-phones at any time. For a few years, questionable websites would come to my junkmail. I deleted them because the very topics offended me. I wondered why I was selected. Probably everyone, at one time or another, is bothered by this. Then all of a sudden I noticed they were no longer coming to junkmail. I imagine that if you never respond, eventually the messages will stop.
Some think that this is a 'victimless crime.' I couldn't disagree more! With personal knowledge of several families in which this problem has resulted in one spouse spending so many hours by himself to the neglect of his family, I know the very marriage is threatened at this time. This is not victimless!
There are plenty of other personal bad habits we could identify and try to uproot. Take laziness, for example. Or take its opposite, workaholicism. Either way, we could be focusing more on ourselves than on those who are important to us.
We could be indulging in so many of our favorite foods that we have a weight problem. That, indeed, seems to be a problem for many of us! What to do . . . ? We might try substituting a GOOD HABIT for that nagging problem that won't go away by itself.
Years ago I had a friend who really was addicted to eating grapes! She was terribly overweight and just couldn't get enough grapes! She moved out-of-town so I never knew what happened, if she kept this up for years and years. Seems like it should be easy to limit oneself to fewer of a good thing, or to cut it out entirely for a time.
If we can conquer at least some of our bad habits, we have power!! - the power to do good!
Lord, You and I both know what I have to do. Please give me the strength to persist!
Sunday, July 20, 2014
His Majesty
My brother, Don, and sister-in-law, Kathleen are coming to visit me next week! They lived in Kathleen's home town in Ireland for many years and have recently moved to Florida, U.SA. So this is the first time they will be visiting me in Lexington, Kentucky.
Naturally, I wanted my house to look as good as it could for their visit. I have totally, 100% re-done the Guest Room, from painting ceiling, walls, woodwork and doors, to getting a nice ceiling fan, to putting up a brass bed with new bedding. What's left: only to make a new window curtain and put something nice on the walls.
The adjoining bathroom is also getting transformed from a dark cave with brownish/cranberryish/rust walls to a bright, cheerful strawberry red bathroom. At last, the ceiling and walls are painted and I've bought a few new things like rug, waste basket, things for the counter, etc.
That's upstairs. Downstairs, all carpets have been cleaned, furniture polished.
I've planned a big dinner for one night with all the in-town and close-by relatives coming. Tomorrow I'll start pulling weeds, trimming bushes, and getting the yard in better shape. I actually watered the yard several times last week - I didn't want it to look anything less than green!
I started thinking of what tasks I've completed and those that are left. By the end of the week, I'll be ready for a King! There won't be anything more to do if Jesus Himself was coming! And those thoughts led to thoughts of Jesus Christ, Our King, and His Majesty.
Don, Kathleen, and I have visited Jesus in His many homes - churches - in many places, both in Ireland and in the U.S.A. They are all different, and quite grand, fitting for a King. Jesus is worth all the Adoration, Love, and Honor as is fitting for the Creator of the Universe. I was pleased to worship Him in church this morning and will honor Him all day today, His Day, by turning my thoughts and prayers to Him many times. I wish the same happiness for you!
Don and Kathleen aren't a political King and Queen but they're far more important to me!
Praise You, Lord, for such a wonderful brother and sister-in-law coming to visit!!
Naturally, I wanted my house to look as good as it could for their visit. I have totally, 100% re-done the Guest Room, from painting ceiling, walls, woodwork and doors, to getting a nice ceiling fan, to putting up a brass bed with new bedding. What's left: only to make a new window curtain and put something nice on the walls.
 |
| New Guest Room! |
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| New Bathroom almost finished! |
I've planned a big dinner for one night with all the in-town and close-by relatives coming. Tomorrow I'll start pulling weeds, trimming bushes, and getting the yard in better shape. I actually watered the yard several times last week - I didn't want it to look anything less than green!
I started thinking of what tasks I've completed and those that are left. By the end of the week, I'll be ready for a King! There won't be anything more to do if Jesus Himself was coming! And those thoughts led to thoughts of Jesus Christ, Our King, and His Majesty.
Don, Kathleen, and I have visited Jesus in His many homes - churches - in many places, both in Ireland and in the U.S.A. They are all different, and quite grand, fitting for a King. Jesus is worth all the Adoration, Love, and Honor as is fitting for the Creator of the Universe. I was pleased to worship Him in church this morning and will honor Him all day today, His Day, by turning my thoughts and prayers to Him many times. I wish the same happiness for you!
Don and Kathleen aren't a political King and Queen but they're far more important to me!
Praise You, Lord, for such a wonderful brother and sister-in-law coming to visit!!
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Ready for Anything! #1: Famine
One day I made a list of possible disasters to prepare for, not just the usual 'fire,' 'tornado,' 'car accident.' Close to the top was 'Famine.' This is a possibility that never occurs to us in the land of plenty, the land of so much we have to diet. Nevertheless, I started thinking: "What if I had to depend on myself for food?"
I'm not exactly Fanny Farmer! Over the years I raised strawberries, lots of tomatoes, squash, green peppers, lots of flowers, and a few herbs. Hardly enough to survive on. Yet, it's been good training.
During the Second World War, the home folks raised "Victory Gardens." I was too young to remember seeing any, but it seems like a good idea to have really fresh vegetables.
Also, I helped my mom 'can.' She 'put up' lots of vegetables and fruits. Every summer we would peel and peel - apples, peaches, you name it. We would 'break' green beans. She would sterilize glass jars and cut up apples and peaches, cook them then put them in the jars. She canned corn kernels and tomatoes, whole and catsup. Mom canned green beans. She made applesauce and even grape jelly. It was quite interesting but a lot of work. But the food tasted wonderful!
As an adult, I never did much food preservation, no canning but limited freezing. The years I raised strawberries, we ate as much as we grew. They were delectable! I had one squash plant which produced so much I was able to freeze some and we positively got tired of eating yellow squash.
But then we lived in a small Kentucky county for 25 years. Many of my friends had gardens (read 'vegetable gardens,' and did a lot of freezing.
Next year would be a good time for me to expand my gardening to try more things. I'd like to try growing pole beans and lots more tomatoes. I wonder if I could grow enough leaf lettuce that after the bunnies took their share there would be some left for me?
Just something to think about. . .
Lord, I thank You for never having to worry about food. Help me be aware of those in our world who are in need and help them!
I'm not exactly Fanny Farmer! Over the years I raised strawberries, lots of tomatoes, squash, green peppers, lots of flowers, and a few herbs. Hardly enough to survive on. Yet, it's been good training.
During the Second World War, the home folks raised "Victory Gardens." I was too young to remember seeing any, but it seems like a good idea to have really fresh vegetables.
Also, I helped my mom 'can.' She 'put up' lots of vegetables and fruits. Every summer we would peel and peel - apples, peaches, you name it. We would 'break' green beans. She would sterilize glass jars and cut up apples and peaches, cook them then put them in the jars. She canned corn kernels and tomatoes, whole and catsup. Mom canned green beans. She made applesauce and even grape jelly. It was quite interesting but a lot of work. But the food tasted wonderful!
As an adult, I never did much food preservation, no canning but limited freezing. The years I raised strawberries, we ate as much as we grew. They were delectable! I had one squash plant which produced so much I was able to freeze some and we positively got tired of eating yellow squash.
But then we lived in a small Kentucky county for 25 years. Many of my friends had gardens (read 'vegetable gardens,' and did a lot of freezing.
Next year would be a good time for me to expand my gardening to try more things. I'd like to try growing pole beans and lots more tomatoes. I wonder if I could grow enough leaf lettuce that after the bunnies took their share there would be some left for me?
Just something to think about. . .
Lord, I thank You for never having to worry about food. Help me be aware of those in our world who are in need and help them!
Friday, July 18, 2014
Unfettered Thoughts
In the news, the British are suffering a rash of child pornography convictions of clergy, teachers, former police officers, and others. Pornography of both children and adults, particularly on the internet is wildly out-of-control in America, sad to say (nearly HALF of the profits on the internet are due to pornography). How does this get a start? How is this perpetrated?
1. There has to be those who victimize the children and sell or post horrible photos, for big profits.
2. And - there has to be those who buy or view the offending images.
Somewhere, sometime, all those involved have to know this is wrong, evil, hurtful of children! Yet they continue. No one is born hurting others. Yet all of us are tempted in many ways, our whole lives. St. Catherine was, if I remember correctly, asked, "When do sexual temptations stop?" She answered, "About twelve hours after death!"
The point is, when any kind of temptations comes to us in any manner, we must resist them! Temptations are first thoughts and then may progress to actions. If we are to remain ethical, rational, reasonably good adults, we must block these thoughts. If we allow them to stay, thinking they are harmless, we are setting ourselves up for a life of misery and addiction.
Yes, we have rich imaginations. Yes, we should use this gift for our own good and the good of our fellow humans who accompany us in our lives!
Lord, help us not look the other way when we see evil. Help us promote the good of families and especially children. Please help us be protective of those little ones among us!
1. There has to be those who victimize the children and sell or post horrible photos, for big profits.
2. And - there has to be those who buy or view the offending images.
Somewhere, sometime, all those involved have to know this is wrong, evil, hurtful of children! Yet they continue. No one is born hurting others. Yet all of us are tempted in many ways, our whole lives. St. Catherine was, if I remember correctly, asked, "When do sexual temptations stop?" She answered, "About twelve hours after death!"
The point is, when any kind of temptations comes to us in any manner, we must resist them! Temptations are first thoughts and then may progress to actions. If we are to remain ethical, rational, reasonably good adults, we must block these thoughts. If we allow them to stay, thinking they are harmless, we are setting ourselves up for a life of misery and addiction.
Yes, we have rich imaginations. Yes, we should use this gift for our own good and the good of our fellow humans who accompany us in our lives!
Lord, help us not look the other way when we see evil. Help us promote the good of families and especially children. Please help us be protective of those little ones among us!
Thursday, July 17, 2014
The Cryers
There are those - only women, as far as I know - who weep for each and every perceived slight or major insult. If you're around these tender-hearted individuals for long, you feel like you're walking on eggshells! You don't want to say something to 'set them off,' and you end up not saying much.
Personally, I'm not all that 'teary,' except during the singing of our National Anthem. I have cried with some of my patients' families when their loved ones have died, even if I didn't know them well. But, by and large, I'd like to think I'm not super-sensitive.
There was one exception: when I was about 7 1/2 months pregnant, and up till the time of delivery of my babies, everything made me cry! I ended up not watching any TV for a couple of weeks because everything slightly, ever so slightly sad, made me cry. I didn't feel any psychological anguish, I just couldn't control the tears. This sensitivity went away after the babies' births from the business of having a sweet new baby. I think it was just all the hormones circulating around our bodies at those times.
There's probably not a thing we can do if we have a 'cryer' in our family or among our friends. One of my daughters was a cryer when she was a teenager but outgrew it.
Lord, help us be sensitive those all who are suffering in any way! Sometimes we need the tears ourselves!
Personally, I'm not all that 'teary,' except during the singing of our National Anthem. I have cried with some of my patients' families when their loved ones have died, even if I didn't know them well. But, by and large, I'd like to think I'm not super-sensitive.
There was one exception: when I was about 7 1/2 months pregnant, and up till the time of delivery of my babies, everything made me cry! I ended up not watching any TV for a couple of weeks because everything slightly, ever so slightly sad, made me cry. I didn't feel any psychological anguish, I just couldn't control the tears. This sensitivity went away after the babies' births from the business of having a sweet new baby. I think it was just all the hormones circulating around our bodies at those times.
There's probably not a thing we can do if we have a 'cryer' in our family or among our friends. One of my daughters was a cryer when she was a teenager but outgrew it.
Lord, help us be sensitive those all who are suffering in any way! Sometimes we need the tears ourselves!
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
A Boring Night?
On the nights we had an all-night nurse to relieve us as we left our shift, our favorite good-bye was, "Hope you have a boring night!" We meant it sincerely, hoping that there would not be a nerve-crushing emergency or two. Yes, the excitement makes the time go super-quick, but we'd much rather have a routine shift.
There is boredom and routine in all our lives, even if it's no more than waiting in traffic or store lines. Most of our work involves doing the same monotonous actions over and over. How do we tolerate it? Do we have an active mind? Probably it wouldn't do any good to complain, it would just alienate our co-workers, or our families. We can take a dull day in stride, with a smile, or we can make the whole world miserable. It's our choice.
Dear Lord, if we're bored, help us to praise You! If we're faced with non-stop action, help us praise You! Help us praise You in all things because we know You love us and want the best for us!
There is boredom and routine in all our lives, even if it's no more than waiting in traffic or store lines. Most of our work involves doing the same monotonous actions over and over. How do we tolerate it? Do we have an active mind? Probably it wouldn't do any good to complain, it would just alienate our co-workers, or our families. We can take a dull day in stride, with a smile, or we can make the whole world miserable. It's our choice.
Dear Lord, if we're bored, help us to praise You! If we're faced with non-stop action, help us praise You! Help us praise You in all things because we know You love us and want the best for us!
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Spring Cleaning
Does anyone except us older ladies do 'spring cleaning' anymore? In case you're not familiar with this, I grew up helping Mom and Granny clean first our house, then Granny's house twice a year, from top to bottom. During the week before Easter and the week before Christmas, every surface would be cleaned. And every closet and drawer would be taken apart, organized, and cleaned. This was very hard work!
The house got especially dirty and greasy when we had the old furnaces with COAL HEAT. Imagine a fine black powder throughout the house. There was NO filter on the furnaces. Walls were washed down, rugs were taken up, hung outside on the clothes line and beaten to get out the dirt. Meanwhile, the wood floors were stripped of wax then re-waxed. The best dishes were taken out of the dining room cabinet and washed even though they were rarely used. All furniture had to be 'oiled' (all of it was wood back then).
Grandma had wallpaper on her walls. She had this professionally cleaned. It looked like the worker had a big ball of an eraser and just started going over all the walls with it.
The first year we children helped clean, I was perhaps ten years old. Grandma told us, "If you help clean, at the end of the week, we'll go to Dairy Queen and you can have the biggest ice cream cone they make!" This was a good reward for me. I'm not sure how much actual help I was then.
Fortunately, praise the Lord, my house now does not get very dusty. I make a list of everything that needs cleaning - cabinets, windows, floors, carpets, and try to do what I can. I check off my list as I go - it makes me feel like I've accomplished something.
All the cleaning continues through the summer because I can't commit a whole week to just clean. But it has me thinking: what is there about my 'attitude' that needs cleaning up? I try not to be prejudiced, I try to never give up on people but I'm sure I can use a 'clean-up' here or there!
Lord, You and I both know my soul needs cleaning now and then. Please help me make an honest effort!
The house got especially dirty and greasy when we had the old furnaces with COAL HEAT. Imagine a fine black powder throughout the house. There was NO filter on the furnaces. Walls were washed down, rugs were taken up, hung outside on the clothes line and beaten to get out the dirt. Meanwhile, the wood floors were stripped of wax then re-waxed. The best dishes were taken out of the dining room cabinet and washed even though they were rarely used. All furniture had to be 'oiled' (all of it was wood back then).
Grandma had wallpaper on her walls. She had this professionally cleaned. It looked like the worker had a big ball of an eraser and just started going over all the walls with it.
The first year we children helped clean, I was perhaps ten years old. Grandma told us, "If you help clean, at the end of the week, we'll go to Dairy Queen and you can have the biggest ice cream cone they make!" This was a good reward for me. I'm not sure how much actual help I was then.
Fortunately, praise the Lord, my house now does not get very dusty. I make a list of everything that needs cleaning - cabinets, windows, floors, carpets, and try to do what I can. I check off my list as I go - it makes me feel like I've accomplished something.
All the cleaning continues through the summer because I can't commit a whole week to just clean. But it has me thinking: what is there about my 'attitude' that needs cleaning up? I try not to be prejudiced, I try to never give up on people but I'm sure I can use a 'clean-up' here or there!
Lord, You and I both know my soul needs cleaning now and then. Please help me make an honest effort!
Monday, July 14, 2014
Meltdown!
My dear friend, Kimberly, lived at home while she attended college. In the house were also her mom and dad, one younger sister, and her grandparents. When I knew her, Kimberly's grandparents were in their 90's. They had both lived there for about twelve years; both were nearly blind and both could barely walk, one with a cane, the other with a walker. It was a lovely family.
After a few years, Kimberly's grandfather passed away; within one month, her grandmother also passed away. I thought that now, Kimberly's mother, Patricia, deserved a life of her own; she had virtually devoted her whole life to her parents the entire time they lived with her.
But Patricia was devastated by her loss. After two weeks, she could no longer function. She had a physical and mental breakdown. She ended up in bed, unable to do anything but cry. The family took her to a psychiatric hospital emergency room. She was admitted and stayed there for one month.
Even though Kimberly's mother knew that eventually her parents would die, she had no life of her own, no interests, no hobbies, no friends. All she knew was caring for her parents and cleaning the house. She never asked for help and none was offered. Looking back, the family would have either got someone to help out Patricia or asked if the grandparents would be willing to live in a nursing home. No one wanted to see Patricia suffer with sever depression.
As a former nursing home nurse, I can tell you that families - even with 5 or more children - have a very hard time sharing care of a sick or debilitated elder. Yes, they love them dearly. Yes, they know "momma said she didn't want to be 'put' in a nursing home." Yes, nursing home or in-home care is expensive. Spouses, especially, think they can care for a sick husband or wife at home. Yet they are nearly the same age! I've seen it over and over again that the spouse who gives the care is just worn out and will suffer a major illness either before or shortly after the ill spouse dies. Some caretakers will ask for help; some won't.
If the 'help' involves sitting with a bedridden elder, that is possible for nearly everyone to do. If, however, it involves taking care of a person with dementia, that is a different matter entirely. It's so much better if a very sick one is in the nursing home; then the caretaker can visit, daily, if they would prefer, and not wear themselves out!
Patricia recovered and did find a new life. She re-discovered her husband and daughters. And she made new friends.
Lord, sometimes we think we can do it all! Please let us know when to ask for help, or when to give help. We thank you, Healer of us all!
After a few years, Kimberly's grandfather passed away; within one month, her grandmother also passed away. I thought that now, Kimberly's mother, Patricia, deserved a life of her own; she had virtually devoted her whole life to her parents the entire time they lived with her.
But Patricia was devastated by her loss. After two weeks, she could no longer function. She had a physical and mental breakdown. She ended up in bed, unable to do anything but cry. The family took her to a psychiatric hospital emergency room. She was admitted and stayed there for one month.
Even though Kimberly's mother knew that eventually her parents would die, she had no life of her own, no interests, no hobbies, no friends. All she knew was caring for her parents and cleaning the house. She never asked for help and none was offered. Looking back, the family would have either got someone to help out Patricia or asked if the grandparents would be willing to live in a nursing home. No one wanted to see Patricia suffer with sever depression.
As a former nursing home nurse, I can tell you that families - even with 5 or more children - have a very hard time sharing care of a sick or debilitated elder. Yes, they love them dearly. Yes, they know "momma said she didn't want to be 'put' in a nursing home." Yes, nursing home or in-home care is expensive. Spouses, especially, think they can care for a sick husband or wife at home. Yet they are nearly the same age! I've seen it over and over again that the spouse who gives the care is just worn out and will suffer a major illness either before or shortly after the ill spouse dies. Some caretakers will ask for help; some won't.
If the 'help' involves sitting with a bedridden elder, that is possible for nearly everyone to do. If, however, it involves taking care of a person with dementia, that is a different matter entirely. It's so much better if a very sick one is in the nursing home; then the caretaker can visit, daily, if they would prefer, and not wear themselves out!
Patricia recovered and did find a new life. She re-discovered her husband and daughters. And she made new friends.
Lord, sometimes we think we can do it all! Please let us know when to ask for help, or when to give help. We thank you, Healer of us all!
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Resting
It has been one year and one month since I officially retired from nursing and the world of work and money and schedules. What a happy year it has been! Since I had worked as a weekend nurse for the previous seven years, my Number One goal was to attend church every weekend and celebrate Sunday as the Lord's Day, which we are instructed to do by the Second Commandment of God, "Remember thou keep holy the Lord's Day."
To me that means that I will actually rest, not do all the things around the house and yard I usually do. I will only cook if I have to cook or if I have company. I will try to do some religious reading. Sometimes I don't but I usually manage to read the Sunday newspaper.
I thought I would be joining the world of normal folks who celebrate the Lord's Day every Sunday but I was wrong. Even if they attend their church services, most of my family and friends work the entire day at one thing or another. Trying to rest, now, I am the ODD ONE. Oh well, I understand why God started this, why He rested on the seventh day after creating our immense universe: He might have been tired!
If I have a really good Sunday rest, I can resume life and work at full tilt on Monday morning. This works well for me. Because of the Sunday rest, I am fresh with a great attitude on Monday mornings. I suggest you try it, if you can!
Good Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you for Sundays!!
To me that means that I will actually rest, not do all the things around the house and yard I usually do. I will only cook if I have to cook or if I have company. I will try to do some religious reading. Sometimes I don't but I usually manage to read the Sunday newspaper.
I thought I would be joining the world of normal folks who celebrate the Lord's Day every Sunday but I was wrong. Even if they attend their church services, most of my family and friends work the entire day at one thing or another. Trying to rest, now, I am the ODD ONE. Oh well, I understand why God started this, why He rested on the seventh day after creating our immense universe: He might have been tired!
If I have a really good Sunday rest, I can resume life and work at full tilt on Monday morning. This works well for me. Because of the Sunday rest, I am fresh with a great attitude on Monday mornings. I suggest you try it, if you can!
Good Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you for Sundays!!
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Fair Warning!
Nella is a dear friend of mine. She and her husband, Bertrand, have been happily married for many years. She is a homemaker; Bertrand has worked as an engineer and could retire if he wanted. Bertrand has traveled with his job while Nella has stayed home. She used to travel with him but got tired of moving and just wants to stay where she lives now.
The shocking word, "divorce," came out of Nella's mouth recently! It seems that she would like Bertrand to retire but he doesn't want to live at home with her. Nella frequently takes care of her young grandchildren. Bertrand is not used to the activity and noise even though it was fine when his children were young. Bertrand hardly even likes to come home and 'visit.'
"Well, I'm not moving anywhere. Ever. I need to help out my grandchildren. I would divorce Bertrand rather than move!" Nella vowed. Wow! She needs to carefully consider what she has said. End a long marriage due to location? Unbelievable! Both Nella and Bertrand would do well to get joint counseling as soon as possible - even in the city where he works, if necessary.
Why throw away the marriage? All couples, no matter how long they're married, need to fight and work for the marriage. It worked for such a long time, it can work again. Both persons need to COMPROMISE! Both can't get everything they want; but they can get a lot.
Years ago, another friend, Janelynn, was in a nearly identical situation. Her husband wasn't old enough to retire but he had a really good job offer and wanted to move. Janelynn had spent years decorating her house perfectly (who has a WHITE COUCH with children!!) and creating a lovely garden. She told him she would rather be divorced than move again. He immediately, before she could even think twice, divorced her and moved to his new job. Both never remarried.
Yes, Janelynn got the house in the settlement. But it was such an empty house. She ended up dying of cancer in several more years. Janelynn's ex-husband came to her funeral and acted like the bereaved husband. It almost made me sick.
Divorce is way too easy to accomplish in America! If the word 'divorce' even flits into your consciousness, take action! This is a fair warning: there is danger on the horizon!! Don't give up! Don't make marriage a power struggle! Find the love you first found, make it grow. It's worth far more than houses, towns, most anything!
Dear Lord, You made marriage a SACRED COVENANT, not just a legal agreement. Please help all couples value their marriages and be aware when things aren't working quite as well as formerly, then take ACTION to stay together!
The shocking word, "divorce," came out of Nella's mouth recently! It seems that she would like Bertrand to retire but he doesn't want to live at home with her. Nella frequently takes care of her young grandchildren. Bertrand is not used to the activity and noise even though it was fine when his children were young. Bertrand hardly even likes to come home and 'visit.'
"Well, I'm not moving anywhere. Ever. I need to help out my grandchildren. I would divorce Bertrand rather than move!" Nella vowed. Wow! She needs to carefully consider what she has said. End a long marriage due to location? Unbelievable! Both Nella and Bertrand would do well to get joint counseling as soon as possible - even in the city where he works, if necessary.
Why throw away the marriage? All couples, no matter how long they're married, need to fight and work for the marriage. It worked for such a long time, it can work again. Both persons need to COMPROMISE! Both can't get everything they want; but they can get a lot.
Years ago, another friend, Janelynn, was in a nearly identical situation. Her husband wasn't old enough to retire but he had a really good job offer and wanted to move. Janelynn had spent years decorating her house perfectly (who has a WHITE COUCH with children!!) and creating a lovely garden. She told him she would rather be divorced than move again. He immediately, before she could even think twice, divorced her and moved to his new job. Both never remarried.
Yes, Janelynn got the house in the settlement. But it was such an empty house. She ended up dying of cancer in several more years. Janelynn's ex-husband came to her funeral and acted like the bereaved husband. It almost made me sick.
Divorce is way too easy to accomplish in America! If the word 'divorce' even flits into your consciousness, take action! This is a fair warning: there is danger on the horizon!! Don't give up! Don't make marriage a power struggle! Find the love you first found, make it grow. It's worth far more than houses, towns, most anything!
Dear Lord, You made marriage a SACRED COVENANT, not just a legal agreement. Please help all couples value their marriages and be aware when things aren't working quite as well as formerly, then take ACTION to stay together!
Friday, July 11, 2014
Fish Mox
Heard about "fish mox, fish cillin," and other antibiotics made for fish? You can buy them off the web fairly cheap. It so happens that people are using them to dose themselves if they feel sick instead of seeking a licensed physician or nurse practitioner. Save money? Sure. Good idea? No way! If you're sick with any kind of infection, you need an exam from someone qualified first, then you need to follow their advice and fill their prescription(s) because:
1. If the infection is viral, the antibiotics will be totally ineffective and leave you open for possible adverse reactions or development of resistance to a particular antibiotic.
2. You may not need an antibiotic.
3. You may need testing for a specific antibiotic.
4. You can't diagnose yourself, even if you're a doctor!
5. You need to develop a relationship with a health-care provider so he or she will see you when you need to be seen.
6. The licensed health-care provider knows 'what's going around' and can look for that in you.
7. If you diagnose yourself, you may choose the wrong antibiotic which may be totally ineffective.
8. Medicine sold for animals are not subject to the same standards as medicine for people!!
9. Don't be cheap with your own health! There are Health Departments to help if you really cannot afford medical care.
This isn't a health blog, it's a relationship blog, as you know, but I've included this to point to a certain 'cheapness' of heart you may find in some folks. We need to have friends and spouses who care enough for themselves to fork over enough cash to take care of themselves. This should be a priority, over entertainment.
One young man of my acquaintance had repeated panic attacks. He 'knew' he was having a heart attack and would go to the emergency room where they had to see him immediately.
We were just chatting and I mentioned to him that he probably had an anxiety disorder which would be treatable with medications. I told him he needed to make an appointment with a doctor instead of waiting for an emergency. He said, "But I have no health insurance." Then he asked me, "How do I get health insurance?"
I responded, "Get a job." He didn't like that answer. He would work at a job for approximately a month then give the manager an excuse to fire him. He lived totally off others. Please, please, don't get hooked up to an irresponsible loser like that! There are plenty of hard-working people even in low-paying jobs that afford health care.
Lord, there are ways for all of us to get proper care when we're sick. Help every one find that care and encourage others to do so. We need to be healthy to serve you and others!
1. If the infection is viral, the antibiotics will be totally ineffective and leave you open for possible adverse reactions or development of resistance to a particular antibiotic.
2. You may not need an antibiotic.
3. You may need testing for a specific antibiotic.
4. You can't diagnose yourself, even if you're a doctor!
5. You need to develop a relationship with a health-care provider so he or she will see you when you need to be seen.
6. The licensed health-care provider knows 'what's going around' and can look for that in you.
7. If you diagnose yourself, you may choose the wrong antibiotic which may be totally ineffective.
8. Medicine sold for animals are not subject to the same standards as medicine for people!!
9. Don't be cheap with your own health! There are Health Departments to help if you really cannot afford medical care.
This isn't a health blog, it's a relationship blog, as you know, but I've included this to point to a certain 'cheapness' of heart you may find in some folks. We need to have friends and spouses who care enough for themselves to fork over enough cash to take care of themselves. This should be a priority, over entertainment.
One young man of my acquaintance had repeated panic attacks. He 'knew' he was having a heart attack and would go to the emergency room where they had to see him immediately.
We were just chatting and I mentioned to him that he probably had an anxiety disorder which would be treatable with medications. I told him he needed to make an appointment with a doctor instead of waiting for an emergency. He said, "But I have no health insurance." Then he asked me, "How do I get health insurance?"
I responded, "Get a job." He didn't like that answer. He would work at a job for approximately a month then give the manager an excuse to fire him. He lived totally off others. Please, please, don't get hooked up to an irresponsible loser like that! There are plenty of hard-working people even in low-paying jobs that afford health care.
Lord, there are ways for all of us to get proper care when we're sick. Help every one find that care and encourage others to do so. We need to be healthy to serve you and others!
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Carrying or Carried?
Depending on my destination in the town of Lexington, Kentucky, U.S.A., I usually drive from home on the back roads, out in the country between horse farms, for a short while. I like it that my subdivision is on the edge of 'country.' Today I had to avoid a man walking on the side of the narrow two-lane road, against traffic. He was short, thin as could be, kind of old and bent, and as dirty as could be. He was holding up his long pants with one hand; his beard was long and scraggly. I judged him to be homeless, sad to say.
The gentleman and other homeless persons, are oceans of neediness. It requires many people to 'carry' them, to attempt to meet a few of their basic needs. I worked with our city's homeless when I was in nursing school in the 90's, for two semesters. But today I would like to address the less needy, those who need help and those who give help, all (ALL!) us ordinary folks.
Let's look back on our lives. Although we would always prefer to be on the 'giving' end of help, there have been a few times in our lives when we've had to be on the 'receiving' end. I don't know a solitary person who has never needed some kind of support. I'll admit that there have been times I should have sought help from family or friends but just was hurting too much.
Since then, I came to realize that the person receiving help really does the person giving help a favor, thus permitting her or him to be generous and selfless. We need to be careful and ask for any kind of help only when necessary, lest we be 'on the take.' Then folks will avoid us!
Once, I needed help and was absolutely paralyzed, not knowing what to do. With seven or eight of my children - I forget now how many - we had visited my grandmother in Louisville, Kentucky. We were on Interstate 64-south, on the way back to Danville. All of a sudden, our blue 1974 Ford station wagon (they were big back then!) got a flat tire. I pulled over to the side of the road, got out and looked at the tire, and had no idea where to begin. I had never in my life changed a tire.
About that time, a fairly young man pulled up behind us in a pickup truck. He kindly offered, "Ma'am, looks like you need some help. Could I change your tire for you?"
Still in a fog, I remembered that you needed some kind of a tool, and I thought it was called a 'jack.' I told him, "I don't know if the car has a jack."
He was kind at my ignorance. He replied, "Well, why don't I just take a look?"
The children were sent out of the car to sit on the small hill beside the car. The gentleman quickly located the tire jack and spare tire in the wheel well, of course, and proceeded to change the tire in about 10 minutes. I was astounded and grateful! The children just looked on quietly.
I offered to pay him and he wouldn't accept anything. He just got back in his truck and was gone in a flash. What an angel God sent us precisely when we needed one!
There are all kinds of help folks can use. We have no idea what burdens the people we encounter are carrying. Perhaps, if we tried to slow down just a little and at least smile, we could lift their spirits!
Dear Lord, please remind us that we can relieve lots of suffering and hurting by kindness. And when we need to dig in and help lots, help us offer everything we have and everything we are. We know You did this for us. When we are sad of heart and soul, help us go to You with confidence that You will always lift our burdens. We remember Your words, "Come to me, all ye who are weary, and I will give you rest. . ."
The gentleman and other homeless persons, are oceans of neediness. It requires many people to 'carry' them, to attempt to meet a few of their basic needs. I worked with our city's homeless when I was in nursing school in the 90's, for two semesters. But today I would like to address the less needy, those who need help and those who give help, all (ALL!) us ordinary folks.
Let's look back on our lives. Although we would always prefer to be on the 'giving' end of help, there have been a few times in our lives when we've had to be on the 'receiving' end. I don't know a solitary person who has never needed some kind of support. I'll admit that there have been times I should have sought help from family or friends but just was hurting too much.
Since then, I came to realize that the person receiving help really does the person giving help a favor, thus permitting her or him to be generous and selfless. We need to be careful and ask for any kind of help only when necessary, lest we be 'on the take.' Then folks will avoid us!
Once, I needed help and was absolutely paralyzed, not knowing what to do. With seven or eight of my children - I forget now how many - we had visited my grandmother in Louisville, Kentucky. We were on Interstate 64-south, on the way back to Danville. All of a sudden, our blue 1974 Ford station wagon (they were big back then!) got a flat tire. I pulled over to the side of the road, got out and looked at the tire, and had no idea where to begin. I had never in my life changed a tire.
About that time, a fairly young man pulled up behind us in a pickup truck. He kindly offered, "Ma'am, looks like you need some help. Could I change your tire for you?"
Still in a fog, I remembered that you needed some kind of a tool, and I thought it was called a 'jack.' I told him, "I don't know if the car has a jack."
He was kind at my ignorance. He replied, "Well, why don't I just take a look?"
The children were sent out of the car to sit on the small hill beside the car. The gentleman quickly located the tire jack and spare tire in the wheel well, of course, and proceeded to change the tire in about 10 minutes. I was astounded and grateful! The children just looked on quietly.
I offered to pay him and he wouldn't accept anything. He just got back in his truck and was gone in a flash. What an angel God sent us precisely when we needed one!
There are all kinds of help folks can use. We have no idea what burdens the people we encounter are carrying. Perhaps, if we tried to slow down just a little and at least smile, we could lift their spirits!
Dear Lord, please remind us that we can relieve lots of suffering and hurting by kindness. And when we need to dig in and help lots, help us offer everything we have and everything we are. We know You did this for us. When we are sad of heart and soul, help us go to You with confidence that You will always lift our burdens. We remember Your words, "Come to me, all ye who are weary, and I will give you rest. . ."
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Holding On? #2: Forgiving Ourselves
As hard as it is to forgive others, it is harder still to forgive ourselves if we have seriously injured others. There are minor hurts - forgetting a birthday, damaging personal property without replacing it, not showing up when promised, wearing something totally inappropriate to a wedding, giving a ridiculously cheap gift (or re-gifting!), etc. - and there are major hurts - stealing your best friend's boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife, stealing their job or causing them to lose a job, staying in an abusive marriage for too long resulting in severe damage to children, and on and on. How can we ever forgive ourselves for hurting others when we realize what we have done and wish, with all our hearts, that we could turn the clock back and avoid the injury?
It's not easy, but it CAN be done! The first action is to believe and accept that the past is past and we can't change it but we CAN go on to live a better life. Beating ourselves up mentally won't change a thing.
We can - and need to - humbly ask forgiveness. This is hard. We don't know what the other person will say, how they will react. Will they get mad? This probably helps us more than it helps them. We don't have to get fancy. Just say, "I'm so sorry for ---." Restitution is important, if we can do it. "How can I make it up to you?"
Another very freeing action is to know, without a doubt, that you and me - WE - are in charge of ourselves in the future! Our life, our decisions, we can do it! This is a very self-strengthening attitude. We are responsible for ourselves! No more blaming anyone else. We'll roll with the punches in life and also enjoy our triumphs!
Lord God, help us forgive ourselves when we've done wrong but also help us ask forgiveness from You, because all our sins mightily offend You who love us.
It's not easy, but it CAN be done! The first action is to believe and accept that the past is past and we can't change it but we CAN go on to live a better life. Beating ourselves up mentally won't change a thing.
We can - and need to - humbly ask forgiveness. This is hard. We don't know what the other person will say, how they will react. Will they get mad? This probably helps us more than it helps them. We don't have to get fancy. Just say, "I'm so sorry for ---." Restitution is important, if we can do it. "How can I make it up to you?"
Another very freeing action is to know, without a doubt, that you and me - WE - are in charge of ourselves in the future! Our life, our decisions, we can do it! This is a very self-strengthening attitude. We are responsible for ourselves! No more blaming anyone else. We'll roll with the punches in life and also enjoy our triumphs!
Lord God, help us forgive ourselves when we've done wrong but also help us ask forgiveness from You, because all our sins mightily offend You who love us.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Holding On?
You've undoubtedly heard of a person or two who hasn't talked to their friend or relative for many years over an incident that happened maybe ten or twenty or more years ago. There are some folks who go to their graves without forgiving an injury. Why are they holding on so tenaciously??
Not forgiving someone is like letting that person hurt you over and over again. Every time you think of them, you are hurt. Hating someone hurts the hater far more than it hurts the hated one. Every time the hater chooses to hate, his or her heart shrivels up a little more until finally it disappears. Maybe that's why folks hold on so long.
Sure, we all are disappointed and disgusted by others' behavior at times. Sure, we are offended. Hopefully, we can find it in our hearts to forgive. Some pain inflicted on us takes a long time to heal. But we will never, never heal if we don't forgive. Some times forgiveness takes years. That's OK, just as long as we're honest with ourselves. We may think, "I'd really like to forgive, I know that eventually I will forgive, but right now, I just can't." Keep trying!
On the other hand, there are those who make it very difficult to forgive. They won't get a clue that they are offensive. Family members avoid them. They have few or no friends. Yet they keep spouting off their hurtful opinions, judging others harshly and sincerely wondering why people won't talk with them. I don't know of what could help them; they seem to be 'blockheads,' thinking they know-it-all.
There are some individuals who are so tender-hearted they are very easily offended. They almost look for or expect an insult. These dear people need to toughen up! Most of us are too busy (and too kind!) to purposely wound someone's feelings! Don't feel hurt when none was intended!
What about the person who is horribly hurt by another but doesn't let the other person know? He or she just suffers in silence, perhaps avoiding the one who hurt them, perhaps even talking badly behind their backs. This really is rather underhanded, isn't it? Man up, or woman up, gently bring up the incident resulting in hurt feelings. I'd be willing to guess that it was a giant misunderstanding that led to the hurt. Give the other person a chance to explain!
Then there are the people hurt who seek REVENGE! - they will show the person who hurt them how much they can be hurt! This is another matter! The revengeful person is as bad or worse than the person who hurt them in the first place. There are so many people who are especially full of revenge during divorces. They will do anything to get even. I admit, it's tempting, but don't go there! You will surely regret it. Treating evil with evil makes you feel even worse.
Sometimes we need to take stock: is there any hurt or grudge we're holding on to that would be better dealt with so we can be happier?
Dear Lord, You are our best example! You prayed, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do." If You can forgive, so can we!
Not forgiving someone is like letting that person hurt you over and over again. Every time you think of them, you are hurt. Hating someone hurts the hater far more than it hurts the hated one. Every time the hater chooses to hate, his or her heart shrivels up a little more until finally it disappears. Maybe that's why folks hold on so long.
Sure, we all are disappointed and disgusted by others' behavior at times. Sure, we are offended. Hopefully, we can find it in our hearts to forgive. Some pain inflicted on us takes a long time to heal. But we will never, never heal if we don't forgive. Some times forgiveness takes years. That's OK, just as long as we're honest with ourselves. We may think, "I'd really like to forgive, I know that eventually I will forgive, but right now, I just can't." Keep trying!
On the other hand, there are those who make it very difficult to forgive. They won't get a clue that they are offensive. Family members avoid them. They have few or no friends. Yet they keep spouting off their hurtful opinions, judging others harshly and sincerely wondering why people won't talk with them. I don't know of what could help them; they seem to be 'blockheads,' thinking they know-it-all.
There are some individuals who are so tender-hearted they are very easily offended. They almost look for or expect an insult. These dear people need to toughen up! Most of us are too busy (and too kind!) to purposely wound someone's feelings! Don't feel hurt when none was intended!
What about the person who is horribly hurt by another but doesn't let the other person know? He or she just suffers in silence, perhaps avoiding the one who hurt them, perhaps even talking badly behind their backs. This really is rather underhanded, isn't it? Man up, or woman up, gently bring up the incident resulting in hurt feelings. I'd be willing to guess that it was a giant misunderstanding that led to the hurt. Give the other person a chance to explain!
Then there are the people hurt who seek REVENGE! - they will show the person who hurt them how much they can be hurt! This is another matter! The revengeful person is as bad or worse than the person who hurt them in the first place. There are so many people who are especially full of revenge during divorces. They will do anything to get even. I admit, it's tempting, but don't go there! You will surely regret it. Treating evil with evil makes you feel even worse.
Sometimes we need to take stock: is there any hurt or grudge we're holding on to that would be better dealt with so we can be happier?
Dear Lord, You are our best example! You prayed, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do." If You can forgive, so can we!
Monday, July 7, 2014
Negotiating Compatibility, #2: Shopping
It should be no surprise to anyone that men and women are different - in nearly every way! That's good - very good! We are complementary, we complete each other. Men have strengths, gifts, talents, desires, as do women; what one lacks, the other possesses.
Men are more task-oriented; women are more concerned with the overall situation of family interaction and well-being. Men go to particular stores to buy particular items; women go 'shopping' to determine if an item they have in mind is the best one, the cheapest and/or most durable, and how will it fit in with all the other 'things' they possess. Women shop sometimes just to see what is new, unique, and beautiful. Women will shop just to have 'fun' with friends, children, or other family. When men shop, they zero in on what they need; when women shop, they scan many stores, many products.
Although you can find gems of men (extremely rare) that will accompany a woman on her leisurely shopping trips, they will enjoy her companionship more than the shopping; that's perfectly fine and wonderful. If you are married to a man like that, please count your blessings! Most men rebel at a womanly shopping trip, especially if it involves clothing shopping. Of course, we must try on clothes - lots of them - to see if they fit and how they look. And we can't be rushed in making our decisions!
The bottom line is, for much of women's shopping, we need to either go by ourselves or with a woman we know will be a fair critic, a friend, and fun. How patient could a woman be to go with a man who is looking for just the right tool or, worse than that, for anything having to do with a car?
So, women, if your man would rather not go shopping with you, indeed, if he refuses to go shopping with you, so what? Get a grip, don't torture him, don't be nasty and spiteful, just go yourself! Men, give us women all the time we need, please!
Actually, this is probably less negotiating and more facing reality!
Lord in heaven, thank you for making men and women different in most every way. Help us use those differences to make a strong, unbreakable union of hearts!
Men are more task-oriented; women are more concerned with the overall situation of family interaction and well-being. Men go to particular stores to buy particular items; women go 'shopping' to determine if an item they have in mind is the best one, the cheapest and/or most durable, and how will it fit in with all the other 'things' they possess. Women shop sometimes just to see what is new, unique, and beautiful. Women will shop just to have 'fun' with friends, children, or other family. When men shop, they zero in on what they need; when women shop, they scan many stores, many products.
Although you can find gems of men (extremely rare) that will accompany a woman on her leisurely shopping trips, they will enjoy her companionship more than the shopping; that's perfectly fine and wonderful. If you are married to a man like that, please count your blessings! Most men rebel at a womanly shopping trip, especially if it involves clothing shopping. Of course, we must try on clothes - lots of them - to see if they fit and how they look. And we can't be rushed in making our decisions!
The bottom line is, for much of women's shopping, we need to either go by ourselves or with a woman we know will be a fair critic, a friend, and fun. How patient could a woman be to go with a man who is looking for just the right tool or, worse than that, for anything having to do with a car?
So, women, if your man would rather not go shopping with you, indeed, if he refuses to go shopping with you, so what? Get a grip, don't torture him, don't be nasty and spiteful, just go yourself! Men, give us women all the time we need, please!
Actually, this is probably less negotiating and more facing reality!
Lord in heaven, thank you for making men and women different in most every way. Help us use those differences to make a strong, unbreakable union of hearts!
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Does God Answer Prayers?
Did you ever hear the country music song, "Thank God for unanswered prayers?" Don't know about you, but I remember pleading with God for a particular action, actually marrying someone long ago, and now I'm extremely glad that prayer was not answered!
Here's a few Sunday Thoughts about God answering our prayers.
What is prayer? It is communication with God either in our thoughts privately or by our prayers with others. We can pray the prayers we've learned by memorization or simply 'talk' to God. God loves our prayers. Jesus said, "Pray always." He taught us the perfect prayer, the "Our Father."
1. God invented 'time' and is beyond time. For God, who lives in Eternity, everything is always 'now.' God knew what we would ask for and when exactly we would ask for it long before we were created.
2. God hears and answers our prayers always. We think if we don't get exactly what we ask for in a short time, God has not answered our prayers. Sometimes, God says, "NO!"
3. Since God always wants what is best for us, He never will grant our wish if it is not best for us.
4. God loves us so much, he would like to give us everything we ask for as soon as we ask for it! Besides not giving us things that would not be good for us, sometimes God delays giving us good things because the time is not right, or because waiting will help us mature in our faith, hope, and love, and even to help us develop the virtue of patience.
5. There are categories of prayers:
*prayers of Worship or Adoration: We praise you, O Wonderful God, We love you!
*prayers of Penitence: Lord, I'm sorry for breaking your law, for having offended you, by sinning.
*prayers of Thanksgiving: Thank you, God, thank you for everything, my life, my everything!
*prayers of Petition: God, please help me ___, please give me _____.
It makes sense to not only ask God for things, but to praise Him, thank Him, and tell Him we're sorry.
6. There are many benefits of praying:
*we will gain peace of soul.
*we will gain patience.
*we will have our anxieties greatly decrease.
*we will appreciate the beauty in the world and ultimately in everyone we know.
*when we ask for things that are good for us and receive them, we will know that God gives abundantly, far more than we could even dream of asking for! We will truly know we are blessed!
*when we pray with others, our holiness will be multiplied.
*when we finally die and come to our final judgment, God will recognize us! ("Hi, I know you, come on in (to heaven!)
7. God wants us to pray with others. Jesus said, "Where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them."
8. Part of communication with God is not only praying but listening. We need to quiet our soul in silence and try to empty our minds of distractions. If we are wondering about whether or not we should do an action, God will let us know in our thoughts "Go ahead" or "Not right now" in the words we recognize and understand.
9. The more we pray, the more we'll want to pray. At first, it will seem awkward. God will help us. He wants to communicate with us far more than we could ever desire to communicate with Him!
10. We don't have to scratch our brains and start all over to think of prayers. Go buy a prayerbook!
11. We can pray anywhere, any time, but God wants us to pray together, in church or synagogue or temple, regularly. It is critically important to give WITNESS!
In reality, PRAYER is the POWER of the UNIVERSE! Since no person or group of persons has any power compared to God, the one who asks God to intervene in a particular situation, or prays, is actually more powerful than the greatest nation or leader, president or dictator. We read in the Bible how God's chosen people, the Israelites defeated all their enemies as long as they kept God's laws, the 10 commandments. It is naive and foolish to believe that we can expect God to answer our sincere prayers because we believe in the power of God and the power of prayer yet behave against God's laws, in other words, sin greatly.
Dearest Lord, help us expand our knowledge and experience of praying, learn the beauty and steadfastness of connecting with You, Our Creator!
Here's a few Sunday Thoughts about God answering our prayers.
What is prayer? It is communication with God either in our thoughts privately or by our prayers with others. We can pray the prayers we've learned by memorization or simply 'talk' to God. God loves our prayers. Jesus said, "Pray always." He taught us the perfect prayer, the "Our Father."
1. God invented 'time' and is beyond time. For God, who lives in Eternity, everything is always 'now.' God knew what we would ask for and when exactly we would ask for it long before we were created.
2. God hears and answers our prayers always. We think if we don't get exactly what we ask for in a short time, God has not answered our prayers. Sometimes, God says, "NO!"
3. Since God always wants what is best for us, He never will grant our wish if it is not best for us.
4. God loves us so much, he would like to give us everything we ask for as soon as we ask for it! Besides not giving us things that would not be good for us, sometimes God delays giving us good things because the time is not right, or because waiting will help us mature in our faith, hope, and love, and even to help us develop the virtue of patience.
5. There are categories of prayers:
*prayers of Worship or Adoration: We praise you, O Wonderful God, We love you!
*prayers of Penitence: Lord, I'm sorry for breaking your law, for having offended you, by sinning.
*prayers of Thanksgiving: Thank you, God, thank you for everything, my life, my everything!
*prayers of Petition: God, please help me ___, please give me _____.
It makes sense to not only ask God for things, but to praise Him, thank Him, and tell Him we're sorry.
6. There are many benefits of praying:
*we will gain peace of soul.
*we will gain patience.
*we will have our anxieties greatly decrease.
*we will appreciate the beauty in the world and ultimately in everyone we know.
*when we ask for things that are good for us and receive them, we will know that God gives abundantly, far more than we could even dream of asking for! We will truly know we are blessed!
*when we pray with others, our holiness will be multiplied.
*when we finally die and come to our final judgment, God will recognize us! ("Hi, I know you, come on in (to heaven!)
7. God wants us to pray with others. Jesus said, "Where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them."
8. Part of communication with God is not only praying but listening. We need to quiet our soul in silence and try to empty our minds of distractions. If we are wondering about whether or not we should do an action, God will let us know in our thoughts "Go ahead" or "Not right now" in the words we recognize and understand.
9. The more we pray, the more we'll want to pray. At first, it will seem awkward. God will help us. He wants to communicate with us far more than we could ever desire to communicate with Him!
10. We don't have to scratch our brains and start all over to think of prayers. Go buy a prayerbook!
11. We can pray anywhere, any time, but God wants us to pray together, in church or synagogue or temple, regularly. It is critically important to give WITNESS!
In reality, PRAYER is the POWER of the UNIVERSE! Since no person or group of persons has any power compared to God, the one who asks God to intervene in a particular situation, or prays, is actually more powerful than the greatest nation or leader, president or dictator. We read in the Bible how God's chosen people, the Israelites defeated all their enemies as long as they kept God's laws, the 10 commandments. It is naive and foolish to believe that we can expect God to answer our sincere prayers because we believe in the power of God and the power of prayer yet behave against God's laws, in other words, sin greatly.
Dearest Lord, help us expand our knowledge and experience of praying, learn the beauty and steadfastness of connecting with You, Our Creator!
Saturday, July 5, 2014
It's Not Over Until It's Over!
Cheating on spouses is probably nearly as old as humanity. Used to be, though, it was important to cheat 'discretely,' in other words, the cheaters would try to hide it. Not so any more in our times! This past week I've heard of several new cheaters in our local area that are quite blatantly open about it.
The cheaters, one female and one male, are not divorced, not separated, but still married. They both have children. Don't they care about how the children will feel when they find out? I think the children in these situations are cheated on, too.
The cheaters couldn't have any real feelings of 'love' for the 'other woman' or the 'other man.' Their hormones just hooked up, like animals (blunt, sorry, but if they don't care very much for their family, how can they care about anybody else, even themselves?).
Wouldn't you think that a person who has invested a number of years in his or her marriage would at least try to save it any way they could? Wouldn't they seriously try counseling, lifestyle changes, whatever it took?
We don't want to imagine the pain and chaos in the family when the cheater is found out and, it won't be but a matter of days in both the above-mentioned couples' cases. There's no way everybody won't be hurt, maybe for a long, long time.
Years ago, if either husband or wife cheated and then sought divorce, the other person would usually get full custody of the children because the cheater wouldn't be a suitable, moral person to be a good parent. These days, it's not so clear-cut.
Is it worth it to cheat? What do you get if you marry a person who cheated with you? A person that would be more likely to cheat on YOU in the future!
Years ago a woman of my acquaintance cheated on her husband, planning on marrying the fellow cheater when he divorced his wife. The woman divorced her husband and let him have their children. The cheater guy ended up changing his mind and didn't divorce his wife. So then the cheating woman had no husband, no children, no family, no house, no job, and no community respect. NOT a good life!
Given the climate of acceptability of cheating on all media and by most of the movie stars, sports heroes, even many of the politicians, it's no wonder a lot of folks get caught up in the 'mud' of the social climate and take cheating lightly. Maybe one of these days, we'll regain our senses and wait till a marriage is truly ended before we even consider dating another person. It's not over before it's over!
Lord in heaven, we ask You to bless our married couples and always keep their love alive! Help them all be very good examples for their precious children.
The cheaters, one female and one male, are not divorced, not separated, but still married. They both have children. Don't they care about how the children will feel when they find out? I think the children in these situations are cheated on, too.
The cheaters couldn't have any real feelings of 'love' for the 'other woman' or the 'other man.' Their hormones just hooked up, like animals (blunt, sorry, but if they don't care very much for their family, how can they care about anybody else, even themselves?).
Wouldn't you think that a person who has invested a number of years in his or her marriage would at least try to save it any way they could? Wouldn't they seriously try counseling, lifestyle changes, whatever it took?
We don't want to imagine the pain and chaos in the family when the cheater is found out and, it won't be but a matter of days in both the above-mentioned couples' cases. There's no way everybody won't be hurt, maybe for a long, long time.
Years ago, if either husband or wife cheated and then sought divorce, the other person would usually get full custody of the children because the cheater wouldn't be a suitable, moral person to be a good parent. These days, it's not so clear-cut.
Is it worth it to cheat? What do you get if you marry a person who cheated with you? A person that would be more likely to cheat on YOU in the future!
Years ago a woman of my acquaintance cheated on her husband, planning on marrying the fellow cheater when he divorced his wife. The woman divorced her husband and let him have their children. The cheater guy ended up changing his mind and didn't divorce his wife. So then the cheating woman had no husband, no children, no family, no house, no job, and no community respect. NOT a good life!
Given the climate of acceptability of cheating on all media and by most of the movie stars, sports heroes, even many of the politicians, it's no wonder a lot of folks get caught up in the 'mud' of the social climate and take cheating lightly. Maybe one of these days, we'll regain our senses and wait till a marriage is truly ended before we even consider dating another person. It's not over before it's over!
Lord in heaven, we ask You to bless our married couples and always keep their love alive! Help them all be very good examples for their precious children.
Friday, July 4, 2014
Do Something Special Today!
Weatherwise, yesterday evening was the most perfect of the summer so far. The early clouds cooled things down and went away before sundown. There was a slight breeze with temperature in the low 70's. It was perfect for a rousing, boistrous, down-home yet high-falutin', almost sacred pre-celebration of the Fourth of July. My old friend, Nancy and I, packed up our two lawn chairs, had to park a few blocks away, and walked to a magnificent, joyful, unabashedly patriotic concert on the lawn at Transylvania University here in Lexington, Kentucky, United States of America.
Look at the huge crowd! - many thousands overflowing the lawn and streets! Nancy is in the light blue shirt at the lower right. Look at all the red, white, and blue!
We were royally entertained by The 202nd Army Band of the Kentucky National Guard, the U.S.Army Field Band Soldiers' Chorus, and the University of Kentucky Opera Theatre chorus featuring one of my all-time favorites, Tenor, Gregory Turay. The focus was on honoring current and past members of the Armed Services and our emergency responders - all those who keep us safe.
Of course, the concert started with the Presentation of Colors - the U.S. Flag, standing and singing our national anthem, "The Star Spangled Banner." Who of us Americans could not sing this without at least a half tear in our eyes and an extra heart beat or two? All we Kentuckians are quite familiar with the next song, "My Old Kentucky Home," the next on the program. A contemporary song was "God Bless the USA," followed by "America, the Beautiful." There were spirited marches and medleys both orchestral and choral.
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| The Choral Singers on the stage in front of the Morrison Building. |
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| Stars and Stripes, the American Flag, on the Morrison Building, taken from way back where we were sitting. |
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| In the Spirit of the Holiday! |
After it got dark, sparklers were held up in the crowd. As the crowd was leaving after the concert, an exuberant teen held a sparkler in each hand and was gleefully dancing in place. I tried to get out my camera but was too late. His sparklers were used up. But then he danced some more.
So today is the Fourth of July, Independence Day, in the great country of The United States of America! I have a full day to celebrate, starting with Mass in church at 10 o'clock this morning. Then it's out to lunch with Daughter #7, Marie, after which she'll help me with a computer problem. For dinner, we have a family cookout to honor granddaughter, Sarah, born on the 4th of July ten years ago. When she was little, she thought our town's parade was for her. Now she's half grown-up already!
I hope you have special plans to get together with friends or family and have fun and CELEBRATE! I hope we all can see lots of FIREWORKS! I hope you have a big or at least a little American FLAG somewhere in your home!
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| Sunrise shining on my Wonderful American Flag, July 4th, 2014! |
Lord, we feel You have Shed Your Grace on America. We especially need you in these uncertain times. But our Patriotism is strong! Praise, You, Lord, and God, Bless America!!
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Craving Grandchildren
Never have I heard a man say, "Oh, I wish my daughter or son would have a baby. I want a grandchild so bad!" Nor have I heard a man say, "My mom (or dad) is always pressuring me to have a baby so she (or he) can have a grandbaby!" Have you heard this? If so, please comment and let us know. Why is this, since it takes two to generate a child? (Presumably, either the adult child in question is married or their parents want them to be first. Responsible parents will help a daughter having a child out-of-wedlock but never, never encourage it!)
Yet there are many, and you undoubtedly know a few yourself, young and not-so-young women who are greatly and frequently asked by their mothers, "When are you going to get married? When are you going to have a baby? Soon, you'll be too old. I deserve a grandchild!" I realize that for many of these wanna-be grandmas, they see their friends having fun times with their grandchildren and they also would like to do it. For others, they just seem to have too much time on their hands. Most want their daughters to have the same fulfillment of pregnancy, childbirth, and child rearing that they have enjoyed.
There is also another reason women pressure their daughter to have babies: they didn't have enough children themselves and they want babies to hold and care for. That's not a popular answer, and I rather doubt that any of the offending parties would admit it - to themselves or anyone else. No matter how many or how few or how badly they've lived, I've never heard a woman say, "I wish I'd never had - - -." But I've heard quite a few say, "I wish I could have had more children. I had difficult pregnancies. Etc. Etc."
These days folks are marrying at older ages, if they get married. Future grandmas need to be patient, volunteer with children if they would like that contact, and take a cue from the future grandpas, all things happen in God's good time!
Praise You Lord, for children, Praise You for grandchildren! Praise you for the patience of which we could ALL use more!
Yet there are many, and you undoubtedly know a few yourself, young and not-so-young women who are greatly and frequently asked by their mothers, "When are you going to get married? When are you going to have a baby? Soon, you'll be too old. I deserve a grandchild!" I realize that for many of these wanna-be grandmas, they see their friends having fun times with their grandchildren and they also would like to do it. For others, they just seem to have too much time on their hands. Most want their daughters to have the same fulfillment of pregnancy, childbirth, and child rearing that they have enjoyed.
There is also another reason women pressure their daughter to have babies: they didn't have enough children themselves and they want babies to hold and care for. That's not a popular answer, and I rather doubt that any of the offending parties would admit it - to themselves or anyone else. No matter how many or how few or how badly they've lived, I've never heard a woman say, "I wish I'd never had - - -." But I've heard quite a few say, "I wish I could have had more children. I had difficult pregnancies. Etc. Etc."
These days folks are marrying at older ages, if they get married. Future grandmas need to be patient, volunteer with children if they would like that contact, and take a cue from the future grandpas, all things happen in God's good time!
Praise You Lord, for children, Praise You for grandchildren! Praise you for the patience of which we could ALL use more!
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Daddy's Mistake
After my dear Mother, Adeline, died suddenly at age 82 from a massive cerebral hemorrhage in July of 2002, my dear Father, Reuben, was despondent and inconsolable. My three brothers and I offered to have Daddy live with one of us. He adamantly refused saying, "I gotta be near my doctors." Now, Daddy lived in San Antonio, Texas, I lived in Lexington, Kentucky, and my brothers lived even farther away. We all worked and couldn't jump a plane to Texas at the drop of a hat. Keep in mind, Daddy was 88 years old. He lived in an apartment in a high-rise retirement condo.
We all visited about every other month except for Don who lived out of the country. We talked frequently. Fast forward to March of the following year. Daddy fell and broke his hip! After hospitalization, Daddy was sent for rehab to the fine nursing home attached to the retirement building.
Meanwhile, Daddy was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. Now we begged Daddy to come live with one of us. Daddy again refused, "I gotta be near my doctors." We continued to visit. It was more apparent with every visit that Daddy's memory was fast fading.
On a lighter note, one time I was visiting Daddy in the nursing home with Daughter #7, Marie. Daddy thought I was Mother and that Marie was me. He kept asking me, "What time is it?" I pointed to the digital clock built in to the side of his bed. He kept on asking the same thing. Then it dawned on me, "Daddy doesn't recognize the digital clock. He needs an old-fashioned clock with a circular face, numbers 1 to 12, and two hands." So I took off my nursing watch (push a button and it lights up so I don't have to turn on big lights in a patient's room) and put it on Daddy's skinny little wrist. "Look, Daddy, now you can tell time even at night." And I showed him how to make it light up.
Daddy immediately pulled his covers totally covering his head. I heard lots of giggling! Daddy was playing with the watch!
I felt that Daddy was getting close to coming to live with me. Except that Daddy came down with pneumonia and died. He was 89 years old.
When Mom and Dad decided their big home in Chesapeake, Virginia, was too big, Dad research every retirement facility in the country, he said. They picked the one in San Antonio because it was for retired military, which he was, a retired Army Lieutenant Colonel. Daddy said, "We're only a plane ride away." THAT was their mistake, a large mistake! (Note: none of us was consulted about this decision; we were informed, as we had been all our lives.)
It's my opinion, as a former nursing home nurse, and as a daughter, that elderly people NEED to be CLOSE TO FAMILY! It was all well and good that for several years after they moved, they would travel by air to see all of us. Then they announced, "It's too hard for us to travel; if you want to see us, you'll have to come to us." We could have done so much to help them if they had lived closer - to one of us! We all had good doctors in our cities, also!! Yet it was not to be.
All of my friends who have living parents have helped them out in many ways with shopping, errands, transportation - anything and everything. That's a natural progression of life. Perhaps the time may come when any one of us need to leave our homes and either live with a relative or even in a nursing home. We need to not be stubborn and refuse to do so! I'll never know if one or both of my parents would have lived longer if they had lived in the same town as one of their four children. But, odds are, we could have helped them live longer. What will you do?
Lord God, we want to do our best to honor and love our parents. Help us - and them - know when the time is right to give them more help.
We all visited about every other month except for Don who lived out of the country. We talked frequently. Fast forward to March of the following year. Daddy fell and broke his hip! After hospitalization, Daddy was sent for rehab to the fine nursing home attached to the retirement building.
Meanwhile, Daddy was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. Now we begged Daddy to come live with one of us. Daddy again refused, "I gotta be near my doctors." We continued to visit. It was more apparent with every visit that Daddy's memory was fast fading.
On a lighter note, one time I was visiting Daddy in the nursing home with Daughter #7, Marie. Daddy thought I was Mother and that Marie was me. He kept asking me, "What time is it?" I pointed to the digital clock built in to the side of his bed. He kept on asking the same thing. Then it dawned on me, "Daddy doesn't recognize the digital clock. He needs an old-fashioned clock with a circular face, numbers 1 to 12, and two hands." So I took off my nursing watch (push a button and it lights up so I don't have to turn on big lights in a patient's room) and put it on Daddy's skinny little wrist. "Look, Daddy, now you can tell time even at night." And I showed him how to make it light up.
Daddy immediately pulled his covers totally covering his head. I heard lots of giggling! Daddy was playing with the watch!
I felt that Daddy was getting close to coming to live with me. Except that Daddy came down with pneumonia and died. He was 89 years old.
When Mom and Dad decided their big home in Chesapeake, Virginia, was too big, Dad research every retirement facility in the country, he said. They picked the one in San Antonio because it was for retired military, which he was, a retired Army Lieutenant Colonel. Daddy said, "We're only a plane ride away." THAT was their mistake, a large mistake! (Note: none of us was consulted about this decision; we were informed, as we had been all our lives.)
It's my opinion, as a former nursing home nurse, and as a daughter, that elderly people NEED to be CLOSE TO FAMILY! It was all well and good that for several years after they moved, they would travel by air to see all of us. Then they announced, "It's too hard for us to travel; if you want to see us, you'll have to come to us." We could have done so much to help them if they had lived closer - to one of us! We all had good doctors in our cities, also!! Yet it was not to be.
All of my friends who have living parents have helped them out in many ways with shopping, errands, transportation - anything and everything. That's a natural progression of life. Perhaps the time may come when any one of us need to leave our homes and either live with a relative or even in a nursing home. We need to not be stubborn and refuse to do so! I'll never know if one or both of my parents would have lived longer if they had lived in the same town as one of their four children. But, odds are, we could have helped them live longer. What will you do?
Lord God, we want to do our best to honor and love our parents. Help us - and them - know when the time is right to give them more help.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Smashing the Cycle
The three women from three generations sat, talking. They were Patsy, the mother of Brittany, and Mildred, the grandmother. All were single. Recently or long ago, the trio had left abusive men. Mother and grandmother were very much wanting Brittany to learn from their own and her own mistakes and not enter into another abusive situation.
Suddenly, Patsy had an insight: "You know, we are in a cycle here. We've all been with guys who were nasty. Sometimes I think it's a wonder we all lived through it! We have got to stop our pattern of going from one creep to another. Why are we attracted to jerks who hurt us? I don't ever want to be with a man again, after the last one.
Mildred interjected, "Now, Patsy, there are plenty of nice guys out there. You just have to be patient. You always go for the sparkly, shiny, smooth-talking ones. Why don't you try for a nice, ordinary guy?"
Patsy jumped in with, "Fine. But I don't think they're attracted to me."
Brittany was listening quite intensely.
Mildred continued, "For one thing, and this is not just you, young women these days just jump into bed too easily these days. If your goal is marriage and family and children, an ordinary wonderful life, you have to go for the stable, hard-working but not work-aholic guys. You don't have to go for guys that have a body like Superman! And, the most important thing, you have to make a commitment to YOURSELF to not have sex before you are married."
Patsy was considering, "Of course, you're right. Heads go bald, bellies hang over, it really doesn't matter if someone is healthy. A Superman-type guy is probably full of himself!"
"I think you ladies are on the right track", Mildred offered. "You go to church. Now go to a lot of their activities, meet people, lots of people. Get to be friends with a lot of people! One of those guys will notice you - you're both very pretty when you want to be! You MUST be friends first! Then you'll know a guy wants you for the right reasons, not just for sex. No one wants to be used and thrown away after the newness wears off."
"I meet a lot of new guys at work all the time. I guess I'm too busy to notice any of them," mused Patsy.
Brittany chipped in, "I don't see hardly any guys at work. Maybe it's time to change departments!"
Mildred finished, "You girls are definitely on the right track. I think we've all smashed the abuse cycle to bits!"
Lord, your plans are always the best! Help us stay morally right, yes, PURE, at all times. Help us associate with and form wholesome friendships. And, when the time is right, help us find good mates!
Suddenly, Patsy had an insight: "You know, we are in a cycle here. We've all been with guys who were nasty. Sometimes I think it's a wonder we all lived through it! We have got to stop our pattern of going from one creep to another. Why are we attracted to jerks who hurt us? I don't ever want to be with a man again, after the last one.
Mildred interjected, "Now, Patsy, there are plenty of nice guys out there. You just have to be patient. You always go for the sparkly, shiny, smooth-talking ones. Why don't you try for a nice, ordinary guy?"
Patsy jumped in with, "Fine. But I don't think they're attracted to me."
Brittany was listening quite intensely.
Mildred continued, "For one thing, and this is not just you, young women these days just jump into bed too easily these days. If your goal is marriage and family and children, an ordinary wonderful life, you have to go for the stable, hard-working but not work-aholic guys. You don't have to go for guys that have a body like Superman! And, the most important thing, you have to make a commitment to YOURSELF to not have sex before you are married."
Patsy was considering, "Of course, you're right. Heads go bald, bellies hang over, it really doesn't matter if someone is healthy. A Superman-type guy is probably full of himself!"
"I think you ladies are on the right track", Mildred offered. "You go to church. Now go to a lot of their activities, meet people, lots of people. Get to be friends with a lot of people! One of those guys will notice you - you're both very pretty when you want to be! You MUST be friends first! Then you'll know a guy wants you for the right reasons, not just for sex. No one wants to be used and thrown away after the newness wears off."
"I meet a lot of new guys at work all the time. I guess I'm too busy to notice any of them," mused Patsy.
Brittany chipped in, "I don't see hardly any guys at work. Maybe it's time to change departments!"
Mildred finished, "You girls are definitely on the right track. I think we've all smashed the abuse cycle to bits!"
Lord, your plans are always the best! Help us stay morally right, yes, PURE, at all times. Help us associate with and form wholesome friendships. And, when the time is right, help us find good mates!
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