Background: One of the growing-up tasks of a baby is to realize that his primary caretaker, usually his mom, will return when he doesn't actually see her. He has to know for sure that mom can be trusted. Some children never pass this 'stage' of development. They become anxious and afraid. In time, when they're adults, they are never able to trust anyone.
Situation: When Rose was trying to lose weight, she would briskly walk several miles around the neighborhood by herself or with a girlfriend. Her husband, Jerry, would question her, 'grill' her, when she returned. "Where did you go? Who did you see?" Several times Jerry rode his bike around the streets until he found her. "Hi!" he grinned. He was trying to hide his checking on her, wanting to appear casual, that he just happened to want to get some exercise.
Rose couldn't go to the grocery without Jerry calling her several times. "Oh, don't forget the pizza." "Is milk on your list?" He unconsciously was so terrified of her meeting someone she liked better and leaving him that he had to know where she was and what she was doing at every minute of every day.
Lessons learned: The pattern of one person in a dating relationship constantly checking up on another should be very carefully recognized as a giant 'RED FLAG': keep away! This person does not trust me and NEVER WILL TRUST ME!
The outcome: There were many other complications in this marriage. Long-story-short is that Jerry was extremely emotionally abusive and threatened physical abuse. Eventually, they divorced.
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