The Small Window

This is a thought I started to blog about some time ago and wanted to continue tonight.  It concerns a short time of total insanity during which you first realize you are in love and will do absolutely everything for your loved one, no matter what are the consequences.  The thought that there may be adverse consequences does not enter your consciousness.

Once I met a man to whom I was totally attracted.  If, in those first few fabulous weeks, he would have asked me to drop everything and sail around the world, I would have immediately done so.  I would have lived in an igloo, gone to blazing hot Africa or a remote Pacific island to be a missionary, if he had asked.

I only wanted to be with him, so kind, so friendly, so hard-working, so fully engaged in life.  When you know you're thinking and feeling this way, you need to grab yourself by the shoulders, tell yourself to slow down!!  These feelings in love are normal, and they are good!  Yet, they are not all there is, and they are not the best of what there is.

NEVER tell your beloved you're feeling this way!  I think this would be far too much for us average humans who are not gods to take in and believe.  Also, it might be greatly intimidating and chase the person away.  Keep this feeling to yourself - and relish it!

Know that the erupting volcano of emotion will be properly and appropriately channeled if you keep your cool!  Also, be wise and keep this blossoming love only between you and your beloved: no confiding to girlfriends, boyfriends, or relatives.  This will only add pressure and confusion.  Your new relationship doesn't need this; it is delicate!

You don't have to contemplate deeply to evaluate whether or not continued affection between you and your beloved is possible.  Are you both unattached?  VERY IMPORTANT!  If one or both of you are committed to another, this love between you is inappropriate, dangerous, potentially dreadfully hurtful, and should be allowed to die a natural death.  I'll spell it out, so there is no mistake: if the person you think you love is, say, married and tells you, "My marriage is so bad, I'm going to file for divorce soon," that person is still committed to another and is not worthy of your love.  Drop it.  The feelings will go away.  Do not proceed further.  If YOU are married, you have no business thinking you're in love with another; don't even try to go forth with a new love.

HOWEVER, if both you and your beloved are not committed to another, you are in a rare, pure, wonderful "zone of beautiful possibilities!"  It IS possible that the two of you may be compatible.  This doesn't mean you will like all the same things but it does mean you both like a lot of the same things and are mature enough to negotiate the rest.  

At this point, your task is to see if you can be friends (could be, you're already friends!).  You need much "face time" together.  Texting and e-mailing and letters (if anyone actually does this anymore!) don't count much in this.  Phone conversations count a little, but you need to be together quite a bit.  You can hold hands, you can hug, but you'd better NOT have sex.  This makes it more a relationship of mutually exploitation which has nothing to do with real love. You need to promise yourself to save yourself for marriage, the lifetime commitment: YOU'RE WORTH IT!!

If your friendship evolves into true love, you will want to be with no one else for the rest of your life, get committed, get married.  Anything less is not true love.  Don't settle for less!

Dear Lord, we know that You are True, Lasting Love!  Please help us strive for this when the time is right, guard it, and nurture it as best we are able!