Background: "Baggage" are past hurts, attitudes, and habits that we bring with us through our lives. Baggage weighs us down, burdens us, prevents us from living the happy lives we could create. If we recognize this baggage, we can try to relieve ourselves of it and leave it in the past, where it belongs. (From this blog, September 13, 2013, "Baggage #2: Expectations", which I felt needed repeating.)
Situation: Rosa was one of the many severely depressed patients our psychiatric inpatient unit detoxed from an overdose/suicide attempt. She had been horribly mentally, sexually, and financially abused by her ex-husband many years ago. Suffering from frequent nightmares of the abuse, Rosa decided she couldn't take it any more, and, despairing, tried to end her pain permanently. Our task was to convince her that, while the memories would be still with her, she could decide to diminish them. We wanted her to believe that it was within her power to create a happy life for herself.
Lessons learned: Letting past cruelties continue to replay in our mind is like giving power to a corpse, like being visited from the grave! It is like living in a cold, black grave forever, without hope. To regain our mental health, we must BLOCK THOSE THOUGHTS! It is NOT EASY!
We can start with telling ourselves, from the start of a bad memory, "I WILL NOT GIVE YOU THE POWER TO HURT ME ANYMORE - EVER! Then we have to replace the evil memory with something positive. That could be using our hands to concentrate on a craft we enjoy, or perhaps cooking. We could listen to pleasant music, look through a magazine, or read a book. Praying is always a great option; God always listens to us.
If nightmares wake us up, we need to block the memory: "I will not give you the power. . ." I promise you that if you start to do this every time a disturbing memory comes into your mind, the replays will gradually diminish, THEN THE NIGHTMARES WILL DISAPPEAR!
Also useful is occupying yourself - keeping busy - during the days and evenings. Exercise of any kind helps. Eat healthy food, lose weight if you need to, get stronger. Forgiveness of the one who hurt you, from your heart, will also help diminish the pain. It is over. It will never happen again.
Outcome: After two weeks of detox, talk therapy, and anti-depressant medications, Rosa appeared to have the strength to take charge of her own life. She made happy plans: visit her grown children and grandchildren, straighten out, clean, and paint the apartment which she had neglected, re-learn some crafts like crocheting that she had forgotten, and volunteer in a local women's shelter. We never knew how our patients fared after they left the hospital; we were not permitted to contact them. But Rosa was not readmitted when I was working there.
Keep this in the front of your mind: God loves you and wants you to be happy!
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