"Safe" Flirting

Situation:  Joanie is 19-years-old, working during the summer as a clerk in a huge corporation.  A product of a private all-girls school and over-protective parents, Joanie is extremely naive.  Her high school made sure that no one was bullied, that there was order, and religious values were respected. Joanie expected that the world would all be nice.

When Joanie first went to a coed college, she was almost overwhelmed by the male students.  She got used to that quickly. They were all perfect gentlemen, especially the ones in her classes.  In time, she developed some wonderful, close friends, both male and female.

Now in this mega-office, Joanie is overwhelmed again, by the men.  She is the youngest woman there, one of only two unmarried, does her job very well, but is frequently visited at her desk by men of all ages.  Joanie was taught to smile and treat everyone kindly, you know, "love your neighbor."

The men are constantly asking Joanie to lunch.  Joanie is not interested because she already has a college-age boyfriend, and also because she would never go out with a married man, but she doesn't know how to get rid of them. The other women are kind, have helped her learn her job quickly, and informed her, one by one, that all of the men are married.

The whole office goes out to lunch as a group every week or two.  Joanie (and three other women) ended up in the car of one of the men who was a real pest.  He started driving like a maniac, really fast and scared everyone. When they got back to the office, Joanie asked one female co-worker, "Why did he do that?" She was answered, "He wanted to impress you."

Lessons learned:  There are no ground rules for flirting, but perhaps there ought to be, unwritten rules.  Flirting between unmarried guys and gals is harmless, usually.  There has to be equality here!  By that I mean that young women can get themselves in deep trouble with 'creeps,' 'stalkers', those who might harm them just by a simple smile. Young women would do well to avoid eye contact in public areas or with unknown persons.  For their further protection, young women should dress conservatively, never provocatively, in public.

Finally, Joanie figured it out:  men of all ages think that women are flirting with them if you only make eye contact and smile!  So she simply said, "No, not interested," without looking at them, and they went away. The pest was different.  She had to tell him firmly, "Just leave me alone!"

In my working career, I witnessed unabashed flirting between men and women, married, but not to each other.  There were plenty of blatant 'affairs.'  A wise married man or woman could be friendly without serious flirting.  Do you really want to risk your marriage for a 'fling?'  Take a lesson from all the news about prominent politicians' affairs: do you really want your children to find out? (Your God already knows!!)

And, if your marriage is really as bad as you say it is, get a grip, end it before you even think of dating again.  Just because a person tells you, "I'm going to get a divorce," doesn't mean it will EVER happen!

Yes, God loves us and wants us to be happy but he also wants us to use our brains and avoid stupid liaisons which would be risky. You deserve a mate who is wholesome, loving, mature, and responsible.  Don't settle for a scumbag!!