I suppose this will really bring out some of the secret strengths of large families! My brother, Bob, his wife and their four children were visiting. We had a great time. I don't even remember how large my family was, at the time - all the children were still at home - six? eight? ten? The number doesn't matter. By the way, in 2014, four children constitutes a 'large' family!
In our family, there was a tremendous amount of activity, as you can imagine! Everybody did their own thing with the older ones helping out the younger ones, as needed. Mom and Dad directed everything. It was sort of like a continuous party - fun, but busy!
There was a "Jobs Chart," according to age level, so no one would be overburdened. When the teenagers got paying jobs, they were off the Jobs Chart. No one complained - except my neighbors' children. With only two or three children, they would have to do their share twice as often as my children and they did not like it!
Of immense benefit to everyone was that the younger children would learn so much from the older ones seemingly just by osmosis - absorption! The oldest two took my personal attention to potty train, for example, but the rest learned it way before I thought they were ready! It went that way with everything, it seemed. (Except driving!) (Make no mistake, they also taught each other things that would have been better not taught!)
We ate dinner together every single night. Looking back, it was miraculous that no one ever missed an activity of their choice due to conflicting needs for transportation.
We were all blessed with wonderful health, praise God! We only suffered from the usual colds and flu, and, at that time, chicken pox, two or three kids at the same time.
After about two days of witnessing the whirlwind of activity in our house, my brother asked me, "Jan, how can you divide your love among all those children?" I told him I would have to think about this.
Years later, I discovered the answer: love cannot be divided equally. You just give all your love to the one who needs it at the time! And, the more love you give, the more your love is multiplied! Somehow, there never was a time when more than one needed my total attention at the same time. They just sort of took turns.
With all the usual catfights among the children, I thought they'd grow up hating each other. But my wise neighbor, Pat, who came from a family of eight children, told me, "Oh, no! Fighting is natural. They'll be much closer when they're grown up. You'll see."
And I do. With a total of eight grown girls, I now see the value of the Sisterhood. They support each other, constantly text message, visit, pass down clothes, recipes, ways to lose weight, sharing in hard times, tears and also the good times, etc. The relationship between my two sons is different because they were eight years apart. In some ways, they seem part of the Sisterhood!
Sure, I can see many things I would have done differently just as I could point out my parents' mistakes (but never would to them - I know they tried their best!). But, on the whole, I'm content with the way our intertwined lives have turned out.
I haven't told anybody, and I would never suggest this, but I feel this is me, put on my tombstone, "She was never afraid to love." Praise you, Lord, for all the Loves in my life: the enduring ones as well as the fleeting ones!
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