Situation: Allison was a young, twenty-something professional. She had dated a series of very nice gentlemen who after approximately one year started thinking seriously about her and asked her to marry them. She ran the other way quickly because she didn't want to get married at that time. She loved her job, her slick new sports car, and her freedom. That changed quickly when she met Paul, another young professional who lived in Allison's apartment complex. He was different. The others were a bit too sure of themselves, perhaps a bit too good looking. Paul was down-to-earth, not overly friendly, just an ordinary guy.
The more time they spent together, the more Allison and Paul wanted to spend time together. All of a sudden, Paul's mother, a widow who lived in a different part of the state, started coming to visit Paul to 'help him clean his apartment.' Paul hadn't gone home for many visits because he was too busy with his career but now he started visiting mom every other weekend. Still, Allison and Paul spent most evenings together.
Christmas was approaching. Paul went home to visit his mom. Allison went home to visit her family. She was so sure that Paul would ask her to marry him that she actually tried on her mom's wedding dress. Allison and Paul talked on the phone daily.
Christmas came and Christmas went. Paul did not come to visit Allison. Allison had been feeling sick for a week before Christmas. Her mother convinced her that "this has gone on too long. Let me take you back to see your doctor." The day after Christmas, Allison was hospitalized. Paul did not come to visit.
After the first of the year, Paul called Allison in her apartment. He told her, "I just think we should see others for a while." Allison was mad. She was finished with him.
Lessons learned: Some men and some women have just not grown up enough to have the guts to make their own decisions and stand by them. Consulting family is one thing, relying on them to make your decisions is another. Be aware of the signs that the person you're dating is overly dependent on one or both parents. A spouse should always be Number One to the other spouse. Never settle for Number Two. You will very quickly regret it.
Outcome: After six weeks, Paul called Allison as if nothing major had happened. When she refused to see him, he begged her to take him back. She told him, "No, I don't trust you. You hurt me once, you won't have the chance to hurt me again. I don't ever want to see you again."
Years later I saw Paul in a Starbuck's. He had gained so much weight, I didn't even recognize him. He came up and asked how Allison was. Then I remembered and told him that Allison was married with several toddlers. Wish I had photos of the beautiful children with me!
No comments:
Post a Comment