Too Young, Too Poor

Situation:  Jenny and Bob met through mutual friends when she was 17 years old and he was 20.  He was tall and good-looking and it was love-at-first-sight for both of them. They dated regularly during the summer, then he had to leave for his commitment to the Navy in September.  Bob had asked Jenny to marry him after she graduated from high school.  He said that he realized he would be far away and encouraged her to "go to all the dances.  I don't want you to miss the fun of your last year at high school."

The letters flew back and forth over the months.  One time Jenny was talking with her dad.  Dad was definitely not in favor of the marriage, right after high school, but didn't make a big deal out of his disapproval.  Dad told Jenny,  "You know that since he's just a Seaman, you'll have to work.  There's no way you could get along otherwise."

Jenny thought very seriously about what her dad advised.  By the time spring came, she had made up her mind: she would break the engagement.  Even though she dearly loved Bob and knew him to be a fine man, she had planned on staying home to raise the children she hoped to have.

She wrote Bob a letter, telling him,  "I have the opportunity to go to college.  No one in my family has ever gone to college before.  I feel it is my responsibility to go.  I don't want to get married now."  Bob called, very upset, very mad.  He accepted Jenny's decision.  They never saw each other again.

Lessons learned:  To make the decision to marry someone, a man or woman has to experience enough of life to know themselves, know what each has to offer, and to be able to see beyond the 'good-looking' part of the relationship.  If Jenny's dad had forbidden the marriage or had become furious that she would even think of marrying right after high school, Jenny might have married just to spite him.

Outcome:  Jenny went to college and excelled.  She really 'loved every minute' she was on campus.  Later she married a college graduate and managed to stay at home with her children till the youngest was in grade school.  She found many creative ways to stretch one income for the years she had to.  She has no idea of what happened to Bob since his family lived in a distant city.