The Women Who Loved to Dance

Situation:  Clara was a teenager back in the early 1900s.  She loved to dance and would go with her friends to dances whenever she could.  Clara and Mitchum were seventeen years old when they met.  They decided to get married six weeks later, by eloping to a city across the river from where they lived. They never even had time to go to a dance.  Clara didn't even think about it.  Then after the wedding, Clara suggested to Mitchum that they go dancing.  He refused, said he would never go to a dance.  He loved to go to baseball games and went to all there were in the city for many years.

Clara lived to bitterly regret the marriage for reasons more serious than the dancing.  But back then, there were no divorces between 'decent' people.  

Fast forward fifty or sixty years.  Clara's granddaughter, Shellie, loved to dance and go to parties.  She even took ballroom dancing lessons with a group of friends when they were in elementary school.  The friends went dancing once or twice nearly every week when they were in high school.  Then Shellie met a new guy, Perry, when she was seventeen years old.  He seemed to be even more gentlemanly and exciting than her high school pals.  They dated and went to movies, ball games, several parties, and school dances.  Shellie went to college, still dated Perry, but they were both too busy to attend many dances.  They married after graduation.

Within several weeks, Shellie and Perry were invited to a party.  Perry angrily refused, "I don't like parties.  I hate parties.  I will never go to a party!"  Shellie was in shock.  Where was the kind, loving, agreeable man she dated?  Through the early years of their marriage, once in a while, the couple would be invited to a party.  The answer from Perry was always the same.

Shellie asked Perry if they could dance at home to music.  He angrily said, "It's stupid.  I can't dance.  I won't dance."  One time they were invited to a graduation party for one of their children.  Perry said he would go.  On the way, he nastily informed Shellie, "I'm not going for you.  I'm going for our daughter."

Shellie also lived to bitterly regret her marriage for more serious reasons than the parties and dancing.

Lessons learned:  From Clara and Mitchum: "Marry in haste, repent in leisure." The old folks' saying is totally true!  You MUST get to know the person with whom you would like to spend your life. From Shellie and Perry: take the time to find out if your date or intended spouse really likes what you like to do. From both couples: don't let someone "new and exciting," different from any of your friends, "sweep you off your feet" and then you quickly fall in love with them.

I don't believe in "love at first sight."  I believe in "joint hormones attracting at first sight."  Opposites may attract, but for the long haul, if couples have no joint interests, any marriage would be boring at best, a battlefield, at worst.  Lasting love is more a decision than an emotion.  Why reject solid, ordinary folks you know well for shining stars who are glittery but not golden?  It's quite apparent that many individuals who have learned skills to make themselves look very, very friendly, are, in fact, 'manipulative.'

Outcome:  Clara and Mitchum celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary (50th) with their large family.  By then, both had mellowed and resolved some of their differences.  Shellie left Perry due to abuse.

Please take your time in relationships.  What's the rush?  God really loves you and wants you to be happy - he will lead you to have the virtue of patience, if you let Him.