Finally Growing Up!

Not until I was in my upper years of high school was I aware that there were unfortunates who were heroin addicts.  These creatures were so depraved, so distant from my world, I felt sorry for them and forgot about them entirely.  Enter the 'hippie' years of smoking pot, trying out hallucinogenic drugs to get 'high,' free love, protesting anything that could be protested.  Consider yourself lucky if you avoided those years!  By then, I had a full life with children and didn't worry about anything touching my family in my small town.  Sure, we all let our hair grow straight and long, didn't wear makeup, embroidered our jeans, but that was as far as it went.

Before I knew it, my older children were in high school.  And I was worried.  I could imagine that some depraved classmate would offer my innocents some illegal drug and that they might try it and get caught up in the vortex of the drug culture.  For years, I counseled them how dangerous it was to even try the drugs.  Finally, my daughter #1, Anna, told me, "Mom, we don't mix.  The straights stay together and the druggies stay together."  Guess I may have had more growing up to do than she did!

Again, when Anna was getting ready to go to the big city to the big university, I could imagine people from the various 'cults' such as the Moonies, trying to entice Anna into their captivity.  Before the end of the summer, Anna patiently asked me, "Mother, do you think I'm stupid?"  I had more growing up to do then, also.

Finally, son #1, Billy, joined the U.S. Navy when he was seventeen.  You didn't need parental permission if you were that old back then.  He had plans to start the December after he graduated from high school.  I was absolutely devastated!  I could imagine my dear boy getting shot at by the enemy, a thousand times.  I really suffered!  And so must have all my friends suffered because I couldn't seem to stop talking about it!  I had such a hard time letting go.

The day came when the crisply dressed Naval Officer came to pick up my son.  Billy was packed and ready.  He went and hugged and his sisters and his brother, John.  Then he and I hugged and we both started crying.  All of a sudden, we were still clinging to each other and he stopped crying and began comforting me, who could not stop sobbing.  I was aware, that in that moment, he became a man.  And I grew up again.  We all accompanied him out to the Navy man's car and waved him good-bye with smiles.

Billy told me later,  "Until that day, I didn't know how very much I was loved."

My dear Lord, remember how my Mom told me, "You had them fast.  They'll leave fast."  Now that they've all left home, help me treasure every moment, still keep contact, and let all my children, their spouses, and my grandchildren know they are still very much loved!  Please help us all spread our love to all we meet!