One of my brothers was relentlessly punched, kicked, and dragged to the ground on the way home from school, day after day, by a slightly larger boy in his class when he was nine or ten years old. This went on day after day and finally he told our dad. Dad asked him, "Do you ever fight back?" The reply was, "No, I'm too busy protecting myself. He said he's gonna kill me." Dad thought for a while. Then he advised, "Well, I think it's time you surprised him. Next time he looks like he's coming after you, you make the first move and punch him in the belly as hard as you can. No matter what he does, just keep punching him." Mom, my other two brothers and I were all watching out the windows from our corner house as the children walked home from school. My brother was walking alone. The bully, who was ahead of him on the sidewalk, turned around, came toward my brother with a menacing look. My brother struck the first blow and totally took the bully by surprise. For what seemed like an eternity, the two boys punched each other, falling on the grass, rolling around. Finally the bully got up and left. They never fought again.
One of my daughters also had a bully problem in middle school. She told me that there was this boy that bothered her when she was in the hall at her locker. I knew the teachers were supposed to monitor the halls between classes. She and I went to the teacher and told her about the problem. The next day, Jeanne told me that the same boy had taken the locker door and smashed her in the face. Again we talked to the teacher. The teacher NEVER came into the hall to monitor the children. Fortunately for Jeanne, the teacher, the bully, and even perhaps the bully's parents, soon thereafter, school was over for the year. Being a "Tiger Mom" on the rare times my children were threatened, I learned to selectively intervene with the school principal. I was always pleased with the results and never had to go to either the school board or the police. The following school year, Jeanne never saw the bully.
Never have I and never would I go directly to a bully's parents myself. I've heard that the great majority of them would defend their child and blame you or your child. Who knows? The bully probably had bully parents.
I actually had a bully problem, as an adult, at one of my nursing jobs! One nurse, Cara, barked at me after the first new schedule came out, "Sign up for 8-hour shifts!" I calmly informed her, "I was hired for three 12-hour shifts a week." For the next two months, every time the bi-weekly schedule came out, Cara, barked at me with the same words and I calmly, in the same way, told her the same thing. Meanwhile, I learned that Cara loved lots of overtime and was miffed that I was hired; that limited her overtime. Finally, I got tired of it. The next time she growled at me, I looked her in the eyes and very sarcastically quipped (knowing full well our boss made out the schedule), "Why, do YOU make out the schedule? I was hired for three 12-hour shifts and that's what I'm signing up for!" Cara never bothered me about the schedule again.
There seems to be a widespread bullying problem on nursing units, particularly of the established nurses bullying the new nurses about anything and everything. Does this happen in your job?
Recently I read an interesting article about "Bullying in Childhood Linked to Later Psychosis" on www.medscape.com, Deborah Brauser, January 3, 2014. Research showed that "those who were bullied at the age of 10 years were more than twice as likely to suffer from episodes of psychosis (losing touch with reality) by the age of 18 as those who were never bullied." "Interestingly, children who reported doing the bullying themselves were almost 5 times more likely to have psychotic experiences by the age of 18 years." Perhaps this article should be forwarded to every teacher, school principal, and school board member. How tragic we have this problem! Do we need to insist that schools hire hall monitors now, the way many of them have bus monitors?
Lord God, we pray that you will teach us how to love one another and prevent others from hurting vulnerable children, adults, and any of your people!
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