Invited!

Sooner or later, we all get invitations to a wedding, baby shower, birthday party, baptism, party selling Tupperware or other items, or another celebration.  What shall we do?  Attend?  Stay home?  Is a gift required?  What should we wear?  Can we bring a guest?

The Wedding is one of the more formal occasions in life.  We certainly want to celebrate the creation of a new family, the union of two people in love!  Of course, if either bride or groom is a relative, we must go!  To do otherwise, unless we are incapacitated, would be an insult to our family.  It would be kind to send a gift before the wedding instead of putting it on the pile of gifts to be opened later, perhaps after the honeymoon.

The location of the wedding will be the clue as to what to wear.  Certainly, for a genuine church wedding, we want to dress up!  The old rule was that we don't wear white, so we don't conflict with the bride's white gown.  I like that rule.

What if the bride or groom is not in our family?  How close are we to either the bride, the groom, or their parents or grandparents?  A way to decide if we should go is the question: have we socially gone somewhere with any of them in the last year or, do we work with any of them?  If the answer is "yes," we probably should attend the wedding and bring a nice gift.

It's hard to decide how much to spend on a wedding gift but we should not ever go into debt!  We have to be reasonable.  After all, "It's the thought that counts!"  Most young couples these days have gift registries, a list of their desired gift items, at one or more stores in their town.  This makes our shopping easier.  The wise couple will have gifts listed in all price ranges. Naturally, money is always an acceptable gift.

Responding to wedding invitations: we must!!!  Someone - parents, bridal couple, or all of them - has put a lot of thought and money into the wedding preparations and reception.  They need to know how many to prepare for!  The very least we can do is accept or decline the invitation soon after we receive it.  Why is this social practice largely abandoned today?

You're heard of "Bridezilla?"  She's the controlling perfectionist of a bride that must have everything her way.  Well, I'm sorry to admit I was almost the bride's "Mother-zilla!"  We've had a number of church weddings in our family and daughter #8, Jeannie's, was in September of 2007.  I gave Jeannie and her husband-to-be, Fielding, a certain amount of money for their wedding.  I told them, "I don't care whether you spend it all on a wedding dress or whatever, this is the limit."  They were very reasonable, used some of their own money plus Fielding's family's contribution to the reception.  That part of the wedding worked well.

We were going to rent tablecloths for the reception at our homeowner's association clubhouse but I found eleven long white tablecloths left to me by my dear mother and we used them.  I thought it might look nice to have an arch before the table with the large wedding cake.  Jeannie didn't like that idea but I insisted.

As it turned out, I fell backwards down the steps in my own house five days before the wedding and broke my right foot!  By the time of the wedding, I was still taking a lot of pain killers (medicine).  I forgot where I put the arch!  And, to be honest, I didn't care at all that it was used.  Thus, Jeannie had a quite lovely wedding - without the arch!  (p.s.: The arch was in my car's trunk.)

Another social custom that has largely fallen out of practice is the sending of thank-you notes for presents.  I was raised being told that even if you don't like the gift, the person giving it to you has put thought and time and money into it and the least you can do is write a short note thanking them.  This doesn't take a lot of your time!  It is very much appreciated.  All you have to do is mention the gift, say something nice, and say, "thank you."

There are several friends and relatives who have decided to not give gifts to anyone who has not thanked them for previous gifts, often given for every birthday and holiday.

If we're invited to a party, it is very poor form to bring a guest with us and not ask the host/hostess ahead of time.  It complicates their plans!

What about going to other celebrations?  How do you decide whether or not to go? It feels jaded to say that some invitations are sent just to get more gifts.  If I feel I hardly know the person, I won't go. But if there's doubt about whether or not to go: GO.  We really honor a person if we accept an invitation to a special celebration!

Our Dear Lord, help us know the important celebrations of our family and friends and what we should do.  Help us also know Your Celebrations to attend: weekly services, at the minimum, at your Houses of Worship.  We praise you and we love you, as you first loved us.