Reasons to Marry, #6: Same Religion

Situation:  Angelique was a devout Christian young woman, a Sunday School teacher of children.  She was very traditional, wanting to be a stay-at-home mom as her mother did while she was growing up.  Only dating young men from her church was important to her.  Angelique had been cautioned against 'mixed marriages,' how difficult it was to raise children if the parents did not have the same beliefs.

Angelique married Benjamin, a young man who went to the same church, whose parents were friends with her parents.  Right from the first day of their marriage, Angelique knew something was wrong but she was in total shock.  Benjamin was not the man she thought he was while they were dating.  He turned out to be totally autocratic, "the man of the house," who allowed for no other opinions than his own.  Benjamin had no respect for women, especially Angelique whom he perceived was weak, like all other women.

It was becoming increasingly hard for Angelique to maintain a 'front' of a happy marriage to Benjamin, especially since he was abusive to her.  Divorce was not allowed in her church.  For many years, Angelique endured harsh treatment, for their children's sake.  The family was highly respected in the community.  Angelique's parents knew Benjamin did not treat her well but didn't want to interfere.

Lessons learned:  While having the same religious beliefs may be ideal, it can not be the primary qualification in a spouse.  "It is easier to make a man (or woman) into a good Christian (insert your own religion here) than it is to make a Christian into a good man." It is the goodness of the total character of a potential spouse and the love between man and woman that promises a happy marriage.  Other qualities pale into comparison to these two qualities.  Would you agree?

Outcome:  It was the hardest thing she ever did in her life but eventually Angelique had to leave the marriage with Benjamin.  She remained in her church, had plenty of love and support from her family and friends, none of whom knew what she was planning until it was announced in the newspaper.  Benjamin went to another church where he remains as a 'loner.'

Dear God, we love you and worship you.  Help us know that there are many different paths, religious beliefs, to you.  Help us respect those of others.  Guide all our young ones in their choices of spouses.