Dilatory!

As a high school student, I had to have a recommendation from the principal for something - I don't even remember what it was.  Sister F. solemnly handed me an envelope and I took it home.  It was sealed and I was not to open it but was to hand it to whoever it involved.  When I got home, I showed it to my mom.  We were looking at the envelope and three words from the recommendation showed through, "Janice is dilatory."  My mom inquired, "What is 'dilatory?'  I had never heard of the word.  We looked it up in the dictionary, "Dilatory: delaying, tardy, slow."

I remember being very insulted.  I didn't think of myself as 'delaying.'  I never, ever, ever was tardy and I certainly wasn't slow! Besides, how did Sister F. know?  I never once had her for a teacher.

Another instance has stayed with me for over 20 years, an opinion from one of my lead nursing instructors.  I also consider it a nasty insult.  I was a very conscientious, very hard-working student.  Mrs. A. was ripping me up because another instructor thought one assignment was deficient and I was trying to counter it.  She coldly and sarcastically told me, "You'll never pass boards!"  Guess what: I did pass boards and will forever remain proud of my nursing career!

While the 'insults' stung me at the time, very severely, it did not change my opinion of myself.  I knew what I wanted (graduation and licensure), knew what it would take to get there, and was willing and able to do it!

What brought this to mind was a recent conversation I had with a young person planning her future.  She dreamed of being a physician or a researcher, then added, "But I could never do that.  You have to study some boring things.  If I ever have to study boring things, I just stop.  I can't do it.  If it's something I'm interested in, I can do well.  But I have to like it. I really didn't do well in school."

When she was finished, I told her, "You're really limiting yourself by saying 'can't.'  You have the intelligence to do anything that you want to do.  Most of what people gain is by 95% sheer hard work and the rest by being smart enough.  People that work hard usually get what they want, sooner or later."  I hope she thinks some more about what she wants to do.  She is young, beautiful, talented, and better off financially than most.  She wouldn't have to work in school.

Those who evaluate us have a heavy responsibility to be fair.  I'm certain no one ever thinks we're as high-performing as we think we are, but we're not as bad as our bosses think we are, either!  I know no one wants to give a perfect evaluation because - how could you improve next year - but, please, be fair!

Let's encourage each other to try our best, try new things, if we fail, try something different! God has blessed us all with many gifts.  Let's help the young folks discover their talents and develop them.  Let's be cheerleaders!