In all the rush and busyness of our times, striving to "have it all" and "be all that we can be," there's a missing ingredient of life that has been cast away: gentleness. We simply don't have time to touch the soft cheek of our child, follow with our eyes a raindrop making its way down our windowpane, or even notice how soft and springy is a real wool sweater. From the first intrusive blare of the premature alarm clock in the morning, we act like a herd of sheep trying to escape from a packed compound, pushing, bleating "get outa my way."
So what's the point of it all? Where are we heading? Is this all there is to life, exhausting ourselves everyday, for what?
The same comment from several Europeans last year during my pilgrimage to Israel and Rome has kept me ruminating about this: "You Americans are always so busy." I think they're right! We're too busy!
Now, do we really need the latest, newest (and, the most expensive) of EVERYTHING? Don't we know plenty of folks who must have the latest phone (even the poor folks have this, somehow!)? We seem to want the very newest car we can afford. After a few years, we are dissatisfied with how "out of date" our home decor looks. And clothes!: we not only need the latest fashions, we need lots of them! This all takes somebody working more hours to get more money to pay for our indulgences.
It wasn't always like this. "Dated" used to be a word reserved only for the very wealthy who enjoyed things for a moment, then discarded them. These 'things' also seemed to include people. "Does it work?" used to be the criteria for whether anything was of value to the rest of us ordinary folks.
I include myself among those guilty as charged for being too busy. Although I was a stay-at-home mom until my youngest was in second grade, I was gradually drawn into the web of 'worthy volunteerism.' Looking back, I gave my time far too easily - all for school, church, or community. One time, I looked back on my calendar and discovered that I actually had, in a year's time, two half-hour periods that were not committed!
What might we try to slow down our lives so we can enjoy this life we have created, by the grace of God? I propose that we need fewer things. When I was working (up until last June when I retired from nursing, happily), I looked at my ordinary formica kitchen counter top. It is so "dated," I thought. A nice granite counter top would be so beautiful, I knew. Maybe if I worked extra shifts for a few months, I could afford this, I planned. What could I cut out to be able to do this? Plenty - but I didn't want to change my mix of work, family, and church. And my 'old' counter top is quite functional, and not actually bad-looking either.
Another modern time-soaker is television. Why must we watch all the popular TV shows? OK, I'm also guilty of "Downton Abbey" addiction, but am seriously trying to just choose several shows to watch, and not just 'watch TV.' This has freed up so much time.
Hardly any of my friends and family would consider me an aggressive driver, but in my heart-of-hearts, I really am one. I am trying to consciously let the driver next to me get out of the starting gate first, when the traffic light turns green, and am trying to let one or two of those who need to 'merge,' get in front of me. That's also slowing me down somewhat. It's also probably much safer for me and for the world!
Another way to free up more time in our busy lives is to get our activities and things more well organized. It would certainly be nice to have the leisure to shop for our dinner daily, walking to the market, take our time preparing it, and then in enjoying it. The reality is that it's cheaper and more efficient to make at least a weekly list of meals, shop once, and do our other errands on as few car trips as possible. With the price of gas, this is cheaper, not to mention easier on our nerves in traffic!
My daughter #7, Marie, has taught me and her sisters how to organize our homes. Despite a very busy life herself, Marie has everything in her house neat and in place. Indeed, she enjoys helping others with their 'clutter,' and may have a business for that when she graduates from college. A good rule is, if you can do it, "storage at point of use." Another help is having closets and cabinets neatly stacked and labeled. This way, you know exactly where everything is and don't have to waste time searching. (Note to self: alphabetize my spices.)
My last suggestion is for busy parents: engage your children to help in every aspect of work around your home. There are so many harried parents, usually the moms, doing everything herself, because it is easy, faster, and better done. Do yourself a favor and give your children the benefit of contributing, give them jobs, according to their level. You will be amazed at how much time you have, when this is in place!
Children ALL need to be allowed to develop a good work ethic. This cannot be overemphasized!! Who will support them when we're gone? As soon as they're able, give them small, regular jobs. Even a 3-year-old can help! All of my children except one cooperated in this, easily. That little one didn't want to even put knives, forks and spoons on the table for dinner. She actually said, "NO!!" So, I took her little hands and we set the table together until she was willing to do it by herself. Today, she is an excellent mother and pretty good housekeeper.
If we could spare a few minutes per day for silence and prayer, to talk to God about what's on our minds, that, I promise you, helps to focus on what's the most important tasks.
What do you think: is 'over-busyness' a problem in our culture? What suggestions do you have to improve how we live, to save time and energy?
Lord, one thing we can't forget is to TAKE the time to pray to you! If YOU are the center of our lives, we will do the important things and not worry about the others. We praise you and we thank you for everything, especially the love in our lives!!
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