Fair Warning!

Nella is a dear friend of mine.  She and her husband, Bertrand, have been happily married for many years. She is a homemaker; Bertrand has worked as an engineer and could retire if he wanted.  Bertrand has traveled with his job while Nella has stayed home.  She used to travel with him but got tired of moving and just wants to stay where she lives now.

The shocking word, "divorce," came out of Nella's mouth recently!  It seems that she would like Bertrand to retire but he doesn't want to live at home with her.  Nella frequently takes care of her young grandchildren.  Bertrand is not used to the activity and noise even though it was fine when his children were young.  Bertrand hardly even likes to come home and 'visit.'

"Well, I'm not moving anywhere.  Ever.  I need to help out my grandchildren.  I would divorce Bertrand rather than move!" Nella vowed.  Wow!  She needs to carefully consider what she has said.  End a long marriage due to location?  Unbelievable!  Both Nella and Bertrand would do well to get joint counseling as soon as possible - even in the city where he works, if necessary.

Why throw away the marriage?  All couples, no matter how long they're married, need to fight and work for the marriage. It worked for such a long time, it can work again.  Both persons need to COMPROMISE!  Both can't get everything they want;  but they can get a lot.

Years ago, another friend, Janelynn, was in a nearly identical situation.  Her husband wasn't old enough to retire but he had a really good job offer and wanted to move.  Janelynn had spent years decorating her house perfectly (who has a WHITE COUCH with children!!) and creating a lovely garden.  She told him she would rather be divorced than move again.  He immediately, before she could even think twice, divorced her and moved to his new job.  Both never remarried.

Yes, Janelynn got the house in the settlement.  But it was such an empty house.  She ended up dying of cancer in several more years.  Janelynn's ex-husband came to her funeral and acted like the bereaved husband.  It almost made me sick.

Divorce is way too easy to accomplish in America!  If the word 'divorce' even flits into your consciousness, take action!  This is a fair warning: there is danger on the horizon!!  Don't give up!  Don't make marriage a power struggle!  Find the love you first found, make it grow.  It's worth far more than houses, towns, most anything!

Dear Lord, You made marriage a SACRED COVENANT, not just a legal agreement.  Please help all couples value their marriages and be aware when things aren't working quite as well as formerly, then take ACTION to stay together!