When I was a young mother with young children, I must have been feeling particularly vulnerable. I had no college degree and if I had to support the family, I couldn't. One day, I 'took stock' of all the bad things that could happen to our family, how we would handle each one, and the worst that could happen. I listed natural disasters such as tornado, fire, job loss of my husband, cancer or another incurable illness in any one of us, and major mental illness in either my husband or myself.
I decided that we could probably cope with just about anything except if my husband had a major mental illness. Later - years later - I could see, as a psychiatric nurse, that I was spot on! Fortunately, we were incredibly blessed in that no such disaster ever occurred.
On the behavioral medicine unit of the hospital, I could see that, if a child or teenager manifested a major mental illness such as illegal drug/alcohol use/overdoses or schizophrenia, it was very, very hard on the family, but they would pull together and do their best to help the affected one. If the mother had drug problems, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or major depression, most families would help each other and the mother, and survive. But, if the father suddenly was hospitalized with a major mental illness, it was much harder on the families and many of them split up. I don't remember ever seeing any statistics on this, it was just from personal recollection.
On our unit, I never saw a child or teenager diagnosed with bipolar disorder although it is more common now. There was plenty of patients with "oppositional-defiance disorders," but we came to believe that the children who ran away from home, argued non-stop with parents and teachers, were chiefly showing the results of an extremely dysfunctional parental relationship, that they really had no mental illness at all. I'm sure that a few young folks with this diagnosis came from 'good homes' in which the parents functioned well, but those were the exception.
If someone, either a child, teenager, or adult is hospitalized with clinical depression, the expected outcome is very good. The person will usually be helped with medication and counseling. We had many adult female patients with major depression but very few males. It was sad that most of them had attempted suicide. Don't forget: whatever happens to you, YOU ALWAYS HAVE OPTIONS!!
Schizophrenia is a relatively rare (compared with heart disease, etc.) but very serious brain disease that results in a mental disorder. Approximately 1% of the world's population live with this tragic disease. The patients actually may see and hear things that normal people won't see or hear. Medicine will usually eliminate this but the patient still may have disordered thoughts. Although some will recover completely, many will just have to try to manage their symptoms for the rest of their lives. A giant problem is that they think there is nothing wrong with them, but the problems are with the rest of the world! Therefore, they don't feel the need to continue to take the medicine that was prescribed for them once they leave the hospital.
Alzheimer's disease is another major mental illness a family may have to face, but not usually until later in life. It, also, is a tragic disease, one for which there is currently no cure, and one for which medications aren't much help at any stage. I personally judge this to be the most tragic of all diseases because it gradually robs a person of his or her entire personality and eventually life. Here, also, families generally help out so that the wife or husband of the afflicted one doesn't bear the entire burden. I have known plenty of caretakers, though, who have insisted on 'going it alone.' They almost always wear themselves out and may even die before the patient with Alzheimer's disease.
Dear Lord, the Bottom Line in having a family member with a serious mental illness is that we have to help each other as much as possible. Please help us do our best with our sick family members and friends!
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