Having to Ask

My old friend, Betsy, now deceased, suffered for most of her adult life with mental illness. She worked hard at a low-paying job and was hospitalized now and then due to her illness.  I met her at work and we became friends.  It was years before I knew about her struggles.  I was promoted, moved on to another job but didn't lose touch with Betsy and several other friends I met there.

A mutual friend, JoAnn, or so I thought, and I were chatting one day.  I asked her, "Have you seen Betsy lately?"  She angrily replied, "Oh, I avoid her.  Talking to her is like being an unpaid psychiatrist." This hurt me to hear JoAnn talk of Betsy in such a superior, condescending manner.

I never thought of being with Betsy like that.  We just shared what was going on in our lives, always at lunch, always at the same sandwich shop.  I enjoyed her company.

I'm a 'huggy-type' person.  I love to touch and be touched.  With friends, at family gatherings of any size and at church, hugs, hugs, hugs!  I'm in heaven!

Yet professionally, at work in the hospital, hugs were incredibly few.  Due to privacy laws, threat of sexual harassment lawsuits, and, I can't forget, infection control issues, skin-to-skin touching was practically non-existant.  If there was a family member I had connected with, especially if their loved one was very sick or dying (or had died), I would ask, "Could I give you a hug?"  I was never refused.

By and large, much of our society longs for the friendly touch, the smile, the word of encouragement.  We all need a cheerful, encouraging word, a shadow of recognition.  Years ago at my church, the piano tuner came to Mass. He was not a Catholic and didn't know about the part, "The Sign of Peace."  He was enchanted!  "Two little boys shook my hand!"

Sometimes we're given the cold shoulder.  Sometimes if we wave at someone we know, we are ignored.  So???  Does that hurt?  Brush off the feeling and don't stop waving and smiling and hugging!  Pass along your joy in life!

Lord, I can imagine Betsy in heaven, no longer being ignored, no longer being misunderstood.  I can see all the people alive today, with a smile in their hearts and a smile on their faces.  We ask you to help us do our small part to make it happen!