Growth or Stagnation??

Situation:  Bennie is an older man, single, whom you would call "square," or "a cold fish" by any stretch of the imagination.  He sort of wants to date, even asked a woman out once a few years ago but then cancelled.  All of his clothes are at least 20 years old.  Bennie has few needs, lives in a cheap apartment, the same place for many years which has never been repainted.  He earns a great salary, has a fairly new fancy car but has few other 'pleasures.'  Bennie mostly keeps to himself and likes it that way.  So does Bennie have a problem or not?

If you consider that Bennie pretends he has lots of friends to his co-workers when he really does not, perhaps Bennie is living in a fantasy world of his own making.  Over the years, various people have tried to reach out to him but he is a closed book.  Bennie finds new situations, new people, new tasks, in short, ANYTHING NEW, to be distasteful.  He doesn't want to change a thing.  Whenever his office has new things he must learn, Bennie is extremely resentful and lets the world know, "What was wrong with the old way?  'They' just want to change things so 'they' keep their jobs.  'It' isn't fair!"

This "chip-on-the-shoulder," superior attitude really repels his co-workers, most of whom kind of treat Bennie like an invisible person.  Bennie is good at his job but has always taken his lunch out to his car to eat.  Bennie has never sought a management position because, "they're all babies.  I don't want to babysit."  If there's one person that could live on a desert island forever by himself, it's probably Bennie.

Lessons learned:  Bennie is the type of person like a dish left in the refrigerator and forgotten for three weeks: it has stagnated!  The Solo people are terrified of growth in any area in their lives.  They push away the very people they need without even trying to get along with them.  They are exhausting to manage, a source of endless petty complaints about co-workers.  They can also be the butt of jokes from callous people.  Is there anything anyone can do about the 'Bennies' of this world?  In a word, NO!  Personal growth involves learning new habits, new ways of doing things, new ways of interacting, a bit of studying at times, a bit of risk.  No one can 'make' another person grow if he or she refuses.  So, we leave them alone.  Do you know anyone like Bennie?

Outcome: several times over the years, they say, management tried to fire Bennie and several times they've tried to get him to retire.  But Bennie is smart and knows how to threaten with the union.  Guess he'll be in the same job till???

Dear Lord, we know that we would like to love everyone in your world, but some folks won't co-operate.  Help us just know that you love the Solo people, too, as you love us all!