Yes, Money Issues really matter in the Kingdom of Couples! Every person, whether 'poor' or 'wealthy,' or 'middle class,' like most of us, has LIMITS to spending! It's hard enough, usually, to stay within your income, if you're a single person, but if you're married, it's even harder. So, each person, has to have an understanding of financial goals and responsibilities. BOTH PERSONS MUST BE COMMITTED to common goals!
Lack of working on common financial goals, namely overspending by one or both persons, is the cause of divorce in many, many marriages. You would be wise to thoroughly discuss money matters while your commitment is still in the planning stage.
By 'commitment,' is meant: a legal marriage, registered with the government, that tells your family, friends, and the world, "I love you enough that I will stand by you through better or worse in our life together." Any other 'arrangement,' tells the world, "I sort of care for you, but if anything is hard or someone better catches my eye, I'm outa here."
It is astounding how many husbands and wives don't let their spouses know how much money they earn! Now, what are they afraid of? It seems SO selfish to do this! True love always wants what is BEST for the other person. It IS selfish and even risky to withhold this most basic of information.
My young friend, GerriAnn, never, ever knew what her husband earned. He paid all the bills, refused to give her an allowance, usually said, "NO!" to her any request for money, and knew where every single penny he ever earned went, from age 12. He considered what he earned to be 100% his property. GerriAnn happily stayed home with the children. She was very thrifty, cooked from scratch, raised a few vegetables, and learned to sew.
GerriAnn's husband, Donnie, decided they needed a new car. He pronounced, "We will save every penny we can and PAY CASH for a new car in a couple of years." GerriAnn agreed (not that it mattered if she agreed or not!) that this was a worthy goal. She stepped up her thriftiness even more. She sewed ALL of the children's and most of her clothes, including underwear, but not socks, by buying sale fabric from Wal-mart. She found she could order from a catalog some of her clothes cheaper than she could sew them by ordering, "no choice style or color." She got a few ugly things but wore them anyway. GerriAnn also sewed shorts and shirts for Donnie. He was quite pleased.
After three years, Donnie announced, "I've researched what is the best car to buy and decided we won't pay cash." After all GerriAnn's sacrifices, she was totally disappointed and lost trust in Donnie. Their marriage was also eroding in every other area. GerriAnn also noticed that Donnie never gave up any of his expensive hobbies while they were saving for the new car. GerriAnn didn't go whole hog and bought excessively, but she never again sewed underwear! (FYI: the new car turned out to be a gas-guzzling lemon!)
Also talk about SAVING GOALS. While it may be difficult in this uncertain economy of 2014, PAY YOURSELF FIRST! Even if you can only save $5.00 per week, put it in a savings account where you can't get to it easily. You'll be very glad to have some cash set aside when the inevitable emergency comes. Yes, you can put most everything on credit, but why should you? Credit is very, very costly! Save, save, save!
Some couples put all their money into a joint checking account. This is great if both husband and wife communicate about every check written, debit card purchase, and withdrawals of any nature. If one of them conveniently 'forgets,' the account could be overdrawn and a penalty may come from the bank.
Other couples keep their finances separate. They may contribute a certain percentage to a joint account where one of them will pay for house, car(s), utilities, or other family necessities. This also works for some. It is definitely a 'couple' choice!
You need to know if your intended spouse is either an extremely, stingy penny-pincher, or an extreme extravagant spender. Either end of the spectrum indicates an immature, perhaps selfish person. You will SUFFER later, if you marry such a person!
The mature couple lives within their means and will eventually reach all their goals. They may decide to save for a house down payment, vacation, braces for a child - whatever is particularly important to them. It is a happy life!
Lord, we thank You for the means to live and raise our families. We thank You even for paying taxes in this free country of ours. Help us to remember to contribute to our church where we worship You! Maybe we should do this first!
No comments:
Post a Comment