The Age to Give Up?

My young single friend, Erin, will soon reach her fortieth birthday.  She has decided to totally give up on ever getting married or having children.  It's not that she has spent her adult years in isolation; she's had plenty of dates and 'boyfriends' over the years.  She was engaged once.  But her life has not fit her expected timetable.

Erin says that "one by one, all my friends long ago got married and have kids.  A couple of them are even on their second marriages. Then we sort of drift apart.  All I have is a dog.  They're not very interested in Roscoe.  If Roscoe didn't need to go on walks, I'd just stay home after work."

I've suggested to Erin that she may be depressed and might want to try counseling but she doesn't agree.  She counters with, "What do you know?  You have children and grandchildren.  You don't know what lonely is.  I'm not sick."

One of the signs of a mental illness is personal neglect.  I notice that Erin never wears any make-up and has a new 'boy' haircut.  She will often wear the same clothes the entire weekend.  Erin also has gained weight - a lot of it.  She never was what you'd consider 'slim,' but this weight gain is new.

She is cheerless at work, they say, doing her job but not really chatting much, the way she used to.  And Erin never smiles.  Of course, it is her choice to not seek treatment.  As long as she can work, she probably will just drift through life in the very same way.  Too bad.  Erin is a very nice person.  At least she will talk to those of us who call her.

One of the keys to happiness in life is REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.  If you expect that your life will unfold in a certain way and it doesn't, you will have problems.  If, instead, you decide to do your best, no matter how your life turns out, you will be relatively happy.  Choosing and dealing with  EXPECTATIONS is also the key to good mental health and even physical health.

Dear Lord, today we pray for all those who wish for particular relationships but don't achieve them.  We know everything we have, everything we are, everyone we know, are gifts from you.  Help us to appreciate what we have and all those who love us without wishing for another thing!