Knowing all the hurting individuals and families we Americans know, it's a wonder we put up for one moment with all the Hollywood and TV insistence that sex is fine for anyone, anywhere, anyhow, any age, just do what feels right to you, and if someone is hurt - it's their problem. Despite the 'mud' of this 'loose morals' culture, everyone does not cheat. Everyone does not have sex outside of marriage.
As always, the real losers are the children. So many of them have never had an example (role model) of a good marriage for any length of time. What do they learn from the culture? 1) It's OK for men, especially, and, increasingly, women, to spend hours and hours with pornography. 2) If you think you're ready for sex, go for it! - just make sure you know how to 'protect' yourself. 3) You can get free birth control or, if it fails, kill your baby, at any Planned Parenthood. Don't tell mommy and daddy. They'll get mad. Etc. Etc.
Jeremy is a middle-aged man, in wonderful health, married for 24 years to the same woman. When he was a teenager, he had sex indiscriminately because "everyone was expected to have sex." His girlfriend got pregnant and he "did the manly thing" and married her at age 18 to help take care of the baby. They had two more children. Jeremy was faithful to her although the wife had many affairs. He never divorced her because "she was so hateful, I knew I would never see the children. Besides, she never knew how to take care of the children. I always made sure they were fed and did their homework." Now that the children are grown and in college, Jeremy is considering divorce. He is a wonderful father, breadwinner, and human being. But he has been in considerable pain for many years.
Phil is a man in his late seventies. He was in the army, near retirement, and met a nice woman, also in the army (first marriage for both). They quickly married in their late thirties but they were just plain mean to each other, even though they had two children, now on their own. He's an extremely successful businessman and his wife knows it. She told him, "I will take it all. I don't care if you have a single penny to your know. If you were in the gutter, I would kick you." Finally, several years ago, Phil filed for divorce. His wife has fought him all the way, lying, taking her time, hoping for a better settlement. Phil says, "I just want some peace in my old age." It is heartbreaking to talk to Phil. Phil has a heart and wants his wife to be comfortable but not taking him for every cent.
I've never set eyes on these men's wives. It just makes sense to me to encourage others to follow what I was taught as a teenager, concerning dating: dating is not a game, it is serious. Don't date someone you discover does not have the characteristics of a person you would want to parent your children!! And, it goes without saying: don't ever have sex with someone you wouldn't want to have a child with!
How can we get young people to be more serious? We could start with parents trying very hard to love each other, hold their marriage together, and be loving examples. Then these parents could talk to their pre-teens and teenagers about real love that cares for the other and does never 'exploit' the other for selfishness.
Dear Lord, we pray for parents, we pray for their children, we pray that we all will be examples of wholesome love for each other. We know in our hearts the right things to do!
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