My new friend, Karen, is a wonderful example of shedding her emotional "baggage," past hurt from lack of love from her mother. Please see this blog, September 23, 2013, for background on this topic.
Karen has NEVER EXPERIENCED a shred of affection from her mother. This is sad, tragic, and extremely hard from which to recover. Karen's mother, she reported, "always openly preferred my older brother, Benny. He could do no wrong. She put a lot of money into Benny going to college. Benny ended up dropping out. Mother wouldn't pay a penny for me or my younger sister for college. What about dad? He would never go against mother, even now. He just isn't strong enough."
Almost unbelievably, Karen's mother pushed her out of her home when she was four months from high school graduation. "I lived with a friend's family till graduation." I don't understand how a mother could be this cruel! Karen worked several years, barely supporting herself. She married, then divorced. She worked her way through college, then wanted to go to law school. Karen married again. Her second husband was very encouraging and helped her through law school.
Karen is a kind, loving person. Her children are teenagers. She and her husband both work hard and create a loving home. Karen said that "once in a while, I used to check on my mother to see how she and dad were getting along. She was always mean and hostile, always putting me down. I don't need that kind of hurt so I don't care if I ever see her again." She occasionally sees her father.
What are some of the lessons we could learn from this situation? 1) Lack of maternal love is extremely difficult to overcome. Most people can't overcome it and suffer from chronic depression their entire lives. 2) The Biblical commandment,"Honor your mother and your father," doesn't mean you have to associate with them if they are abusive. 3) There must be balance in marital relationships!! Spouses BOTH MUST BE STRONG, strong enough to challenge and counter it when the other person goes too far off in any direction, especially in parenting. 4) Help is available from psychological counselors or trained ministers. Karen reports that the love she experienced from her Christian sisters after her conversion is what helped her the most. 5) We all need to be sensitive to each other - we don't know what burdens the other person is carrying!
Let us offer prayers today for all mothers and fathers: Lord, help each and every parent show their love and acceptance, unselfishly, to each and every one of their children. Lord, please help each and every one of us to be examples of your unbounded love for us!
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