"I've never been MODEST. . ."

A bunch of us family recently saw a photo of a distant cousin's child who had turned our memories of a sweet preschooler child now transformed into an incredibly beautiful 16-year-old woman.  Her face was lovelier than any model you've ever seen, yet still young and innocent.  But she had a bikini on that left absolute nothing to the imagination.  The top, particularly, was so scanty it was doubtful she could swim in it without losing it!

Our first thoughts were, "Where was her mother?  How could she possibly let her daughter appear in public looking like that?"  (I know that fathers care about their daughters but it is awkward for them to teach young women how to dress.)

Then, one of our group stated, "Well, I've never been modest.  Why should I start now?"  I could have retorted, "I know your mother.  You were not raised that way.  What changed you?  It's never too late to be modest."  But I decided not to challenge her at the moment.

What young women don't know - and even women of all ages may not know this - is that, after puberty, boys and men have thought of sex many times a minute!  We should NOT strengthen these thoughts and focus these thoughts either on our daughters or on ourselves!  Women of any age should never, ever, purposely TEMPT men!!!

We should want to attract men with our goodness, our character, what we have in common and, of course, by our wholesome, attractive appearance.  FRIENDSHIP should happen BEFORE SEX or it is extremely unlikely to EVER happen!  Even decent young and older men want their wives to be pure, not to have sex with many other men.

So many women bitterly complain that their husbands or boyfriends only want to be near them for sex.  What women want (and also mature men!) is INTIMACY.  You may feel physically intimate during sex but what you really want is friendship, true love, caring, a true connection with your beloved.

Modesty is not just about the percentage of women's bodies that are revealed, modesty is about appropriateness of clothing worn.  We can wear bathing suits at the beach or at a swimming pool, but not to go shopping.  Mini-skirts and low-cut sundresses are not appropriate for business or church.  Jeans, cut-offs, sloppiness are also not appropriate for business or church.

Modesty is also not only about clothes and skin; it's about facial expressions and attitude.  Just because a woman looks totally innocent in a revealing outfit doesn't mean she's totally innocent!  And because a woman has a "I'm available for whatever-you-want look means she's totally guilty!"

I would certainly welcome everyone to comment on this!  Am I an old fuddy-duddy?  Do men really not have frequent thoughts about sex which are increased by scantily-clad women?  Is it OK to wear anything, anyhow, anywhere?

Dear God in Heaven, help us protect our young ones, help us teach them to be wholesome first, help us to teach them to look and act appropriately at all times!  And encourage us to be good examples to each other at all times!