It's been several months since this blog has mentioned "cheaters," those who sneak around while being committed to another. But recently this new situation came to light and I wanted to share it with you.
A not-so-young woman named Janet dearly loved Ty, for the past 5 1/2 years. It had not been easy. They lived together in his house off and on, then she'd move to an apartment of her own for a few months. Ty had several giant problems which, sooner or later, were so discouraging and devastating to Janet, not to mention costly in terms of having to pay deposits for another apartment.
Ty drank lots of beer every night and claimed he wasn't an alcoholic because he held down a full-time job. When he drank, he had a terrible temper, punching and kicking holes in walls around his house, and breaking objects, some of which belonged to Janet. Janet was very afraid of him when he was so mean.
Janet also worked very hard at a full-time job. One night she was just exhausted and told Ty, "no, please not now," when he insisted on sex.
Ty got furious and yelled, "How dare you refuse me! I've been seeing Debbie and she never says, 'no.' " That did it for Janet. She knew she could never trust him again and left immediately to stay at a friend's house.
Later that week, when Ty was at work, she went back to his house and removed all her clothes and furniture, including the giant TV she had just bought.
Ty was shocked and texted her hundreds of times for days. He mentioned, many times, "I don't need you. I have Deb. And I want my TV back." Janet cried and cried, off and on, for several weeks. But she was determined to never again let any man 'use' her.
For the next two months, Ty didn't call or text Janet and she was greatly relieved. She had gone to counseling and was on her way to a good life again.
All of a sudden Ty texted, "I miss you, I love you, I thought we'd always spend the rest of our lives together. Let's go out tonight."
Janet was smiling when she told me about this. She looked prettier and more relaxed than ever before! She related that she texted Ty right back, "Oh, what about Debbie?" Ty replied, "Oh - she only lasted three weeks."
Vowing to never respond to him in any way ever again, Janet wondered, "Why, oh, why, did I stay with the jerk for so long? I learned. I won't make that mistake again. There were plenty of 'red flag' issues with Ty I should have never put with."
Will Ty ever learn? Doubtful. He seems to hop from woman to woman easily. . . but then, eventually he will undoubtedly develop severe liver problems. What is the "nuclear fallout," the long-lasting consequences? For one thing, Ty has lost a woman of great value. For another thing, Janet has gained an engagement ring of great value which she plans on selling and taking a great vacation and using the rest for a down payment on a house of her own!
What can WE learn from this? Only a fool of a woman or man - or one that is sorely desperate - will take back a cheater! (I can speak with authority on this; it happened to me before.) Once in a great while, you hear of a couple in which the cheater seeks forgiveness and is forgiven, and never cheats again, but the odds are against it.
For other blog entries on the sad event of cheating, see this blog:
#1: July 2, 2013
#2: July 3, 2013
#3: September 2, 2013, "The See-Saws"
#4: September 4, 2013, "The Tale of Two Cheating Women"
#5: September 9, 2013: "It Takes Two to Cheat But. . ."
#6: May 7, 2014: "Waves"
Dear Lord, it's just not fair when the one we love the most betrays us! Yet, love is worth the risk. We need your help in evaluating potential mates for their trustworthiness, please. We have Your experience and example when Judas actually sold You! Help us, we pray, never be afraid to love!
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