Alone - for the First Time

Many of us have lived by ourselves for years.  My friends report advantages of being able to "go to bed when I want to," "eat whenever and whatever I want, even ice cream for supper," "don't ever have to hear anybody snore," "can just pick up and go wherever I please," and, "it's certainly cheaper!"  If you have children you're trying to raise by yourself, however, you're not really alone and sometimes it's hard to rely on yourself to make all the decisions.

And now, I find myself suddenly alone.  My dear son #2, John, who has lived with me since shortly after my last daughter married, decided to 'move on.'  That's fine, it was his decision.  It happened two months ago and, I find, the reality is sinking in.

My days are entirely my own.  My time is entirely my own.  My family and friends haven't changed; now I seem to be able to pay more attention to them.  Yes, I can watch sappy, girly movies when I choose.  It's also a lot easier to diet.  At first, I checked two or three times to make sure the doors were locked, especially at night.  I also have to be a lot more careful on a ladder when by myself.  I've locked myself out of the house once.

The utility bills have plummeted; I only go to the grocery when I'm out of milk and fresh produce.  I probably could live out of my pantry for a month.  I'm going to find out!

Having gone directly from my parents' home to marriage, at age 20, then spending the rest of my life raising children, I've never known such an absence of activity - unless I create it myself.  This is most different!  I feel it is best to live in companionship, but it is always not possible.

But just because you live alone doesn't mean you must be LONELY!  'Lonely' would be sad and depressing.  I won't allow that to happen!  I have enough books to read that it would take two or three lifetimes.  There are so many activities in church and the community that I have to be picky.  There are plenty of family and friends' birthdays to celebrate.

I have known people living in a horrid relationship, in a tornado of activity, that feel so alone and lonely that one said, "I might as well be living in a cold, dark, locked tomb forever."  So today, I will definitely count my blessings!

Blessing #1: Today it snowed, is cold and windy.  I'm going to stay inside, wrap Christmas presents, and address the last Christmas cards.  I find myself enjoying just looking outside from time to time.
Blessing #2: Silence.  It is welcome, and peaceful.

Praise you, Lord, for where I am and how I am today!  Praise you, that with you by my side, I am never entirely alone!  I know you love me and want me just how I am today.

I would certainly appreciate and learn from the experiences of those of you who have lived by yourselves for years.  What are your challenges and triumphs?  Please share with us.