The Woman with Three Ears

When I was in elementary school in the 1950's, one of our neighbor women, Betta, was 'divorced.'  To hear my mom and grandma talk about her and condemn her, I thought she must be physically deformed or something, with three ears or two noses or something equally weird.  Betta also committed the sin of 'working' (outside the home, for money). Apparently, when Betta was still married, she hired babysitters so she could spend time ironing beautiful dresses for her daughter, Jane.  Jane always looked like a real live princess.

I have fond memories of my mom rocking me and my brothers when we were small enough to fit on her lap.  I also remember the one time Betta was actually inside our house.  She asked mom, "Why do you rock the children?"

While we hardly ever saw Betta, once in a while, Betta's daughter and I would get together because we were near the same age.  Picture this: I went to Betta's house so Jane and I could 'play.'  Betta let me in her house and announced, "Jane will be out in several minutes," and left the room. I thought I should sit down on the couch and wait.  Betta came back and sternly startled me, "Get off that couch!" That was the only time I was brave enough to venture inside that house.  They were very clean. I actually saw Betta get down on her hands and knees once and scrub her concrete driveway.

Years later I was told by mom that my dad's mother had been married - five times!  This was a scandal!  I am certain my mother hated her because she had abandoned my father when he was two years old to marry another man.

The point of this is to let you know how our society's attitude toward divorce has evolved into what it is today: "Who cares?  It's your problem."  Prior to the 60's, as you can see from Betta's experience, divorce was rare, a total failure, and very difficult to get.  Divorced people were shunned and not even welcome in churches.  Marriage was considered sacred, holy, a life-time commitment between a man and a woman.

Young people in this 21st century are marrying later in life than ever before, if at all.  I think many are afraid of marrying.  They are also afraid of getting divorced.  Society, in general, seems afraid of all commitments.  Yes, marriage is a big 'commitment.'  It is worthy of both people giving 100% of themselves, 100% of the time.  I wonder how many couples - who want to achieve the rewards of a golden wedding anniversary - actually put in the effort involved?  Or do they give up when the going gets rough?

While I don't advocate returning to the 50's prejudice against divorced people, it would be good to get back to a general elevation of marriage from just a legal contract to a sacred commitment.  This requires further thought and prayer.  God, please help us bring permanence and happiness to our marriages today!