He's Got a Ticket to Ride!

This morning I attended a most excellent conference on "Marriage" given by a prominent local female attorney, Lavinia Spirito, and a prominent local female physician, Dr. Nancy Mullen.  There was much food for thought in defense of traditional marriage of one man to one woman.  I would like to share every word said with you, but that is not possible in such a small item as a blog.  (Plus, I would need to ask permission!)

Then I heard the late Karen Carpenter sing a Beatle's song, "Ticket to Ride," and I knew I should share a few key points about the current practice of Cohabitation by unmarried couples.  First, the words to part of the song, to refresh your memories.

Ticket to Ride

I think I'm gonna be sad

I think it's today, yeah,

The boy that's drivin' me mad is goin' away.

He's got a ticket to ride . . .

But he don't care.

He said that livin' with me

Is bringin' him down, yeah,

For he would never be free

When I was around. . .

He's got a ticket to ride. . .

But he don't care.

I don't know why he's ridin' so high

He oughta think twice

He oughta do right by me.

Before he gets to saying goodbye

He oughta think twice

He oughta do right by me. . .

The Beatles probably didn't have cohabitation in mind (who knows?) when they did this song but the words remind us: cohabitation is nothing more than both people USING each other ONLY FOR PLEASURE; and then, when one wants to be FREE, he or she leaves.  Today's young people say, "What's wrong, everybody's doing it?"  Yet when one person can leave a relationship at any moment, it cries loudly that there is NO caring present!

Another reason given for suddenly and prematurely moving in together includes "I want to see what I'm getting before I commit to marriage."  The facts are that the divorce rate is 60% higher for couples that have co-habited before marriage.  There is a trend in cohabiting women having an increasing higher number of turnovers in 'lovers.'  The result is increasing domestic violence.  The greatest danger to a young girl is violence from her mother's live-in boyfriend.  Another fact is that with each subsequent boyfriend, a woman sets her expectations lower in the 'quality' or 'character' of a man she'll live with.  Mrs. Spirito declared what we know to be true, "Women have the most to lose!"

All understanding leaves me on the several occasions I've heard when parents have let their adult (or once, teenage!) daughter bring her boyfriend home to live in their home!  What happened to the old maxim, "You need to be able to support yourself first before you even think of supporting the two of you?" Why support a bum!!  Would you let your daughter be 'used' in your own home?  Risk the bum giving her one or more STDs?  People I've known who have done this explained, "Well, she'll do it anyway.  This way she'll be safe."  Really?  

Bottom line: we parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friends of the family need to have great relationships with all our young people.  We need to discuss with them all the 'cons' against cohabitation.  There are no arguments in favor of this heinous practice!

Lord, we know we are in challenging times where many would totally obliterate all moral constraints!  Help us always follow your tried-and-true commandments - always the best 'practice!'  And let us never give up on our young people!