Sticks and Stones

WHO are the most trusted professionals?  Overwhelmingly, since the surveys have been tabulated, it is NURSES.  Why is that?  I, personally, feel it is because we nurses are taught to be such good communicators.

When I enrolled in nursing school in 1990, I thought I would need to choose a subject in which to minor. I was laughed at!  I was informed, "You won't have time to minor in anything else.  Besides, there is a built-in minor in COMMUNICATION.  They were correct: various communication topics were part of nearly every course.

What I'm thinking about today is how we connect with others using gestures, tone of voice, and facial expressions.  The meaning of what we want to say may be totally changed by HOW we say it.

A long time ago, I was trying to teach my children that despite the little childhood rhyme, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!", that words can hurt terribly.  I took our youngest, only several months old at the time, lovingly into my arms.  I smiled and repeated over and over, as sweetly as I could, "You are the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"  The baby smiled back at me and didn't stop smiling. The words I said were useless, unnecessary.  The older ones seemed very impressed.

Let's face it: some folks just don't know how to communicate with others.  They act as if the words they say convey 100% of the meaning they intend.  Not much could be farther from the truth!  The primary way we communicate is through BODY LANGUAGE. Yes, our body posture is important, our eye contact, or lack of it, is important, and our tone of voice is important.  But MOST important is the     SINCERITY of our voice.

Do we sound sarcastic?  Sarcasm is nothing more than thinly veiled HATE!  Do we sound arrogant? Do we, in our heart of hearts, really feel we are better than the rest of humanity?  Do we feel that we know more than everyone else (at least everything worth knowing)?  Do we sound like we really don't believe the other person?  Despite the words we use, are we telling LIES?

All this KILLS communication!  It is like doubling up your fist and hitting someone as hard as you can!  It is a supreme insult!  It is extremely hurtful.

We can all, for the rest of our lives, improve the way we connect with others in our lives.  Do we want to be LOVING?  Then perhaps we can watch ourselves, and the effect we have on others, more carefully.

Dear Lord, you know how hard it is for us to break habits, particularly if they're bad habits.  But we really, really want to be caring and loving.  Teach us, we ask you today, to be the first one to reach out, the first one to forgive, like You did.