Needing a Man

In the fifties and earlier, we could pretty much assume that a women's identity was tied to her husband. Nearly all married women - and nearly all men and women were married back then  - were homemakers, except in the dire circumstance that the husband became disabled.  Women prided themselves that they could 'stretch' their husbands' incomes to get what the family needed.  Since time for humans began, women needed men TO SURVIVE.

In our era, that is no longer the situation: most women in America, at least, can virtually have the life they choose and work for, without benefit of a man.  Yet there are still some women who must always have a man in their lives - not necessarily a man they love, but ANY MAN - just to keep themselves from being lonely.

These women have serial marriages or serial co-habits.  And, to be sure, there are also plenty of men in this lifestyle.  Why must they unthinkingly, unfailingly do this?  I propose that they have NEVER MET THEMSELVES!  They have grown up with NO SILENCE in their lives, none at all!  They must always have music or TV or some 'noise' or else they start getting anxious.  They never have had the opportunity to THINK!  It is most sad, even pitiful, that they have no depth to their personalities.  Perhaps we could call these individuals, "surface people."  What do you think?  Does this make sense?

It has happened so many times, a person gets divorced and remarried (or starts yet another co-habit) within the same year.  Last fall, I met a man who divorced after a long marriage and was remarried within the SAME MONTH!  Is he happy now?  I'm not certain, but he was very lonely in a small apartment and even bought a dog to try to ease the quiet.

What could you do if you find yourself alone, perhaps for the first time you remember?  Please, please, take the time to get to know yourself well!  Make some quiet time for yourself every day.  Get to know what you like to do  and what you don't like.  Take stock of your talents.  What are your possible goals in life?  What would you most like to do?  How can you accomplish this? Make lists.  You won't regret this soul-searching!  It might change your life!

In time you may meet someone with whom you would love to spend the rest of your life.  But you need to become friends first.

Dear Lord, help us learn to take our time in developing our most important relationships.  Please help us relax and enjoy life!