Mitch's Theory

Situation:  As aspiring young engineering students, Mitch and Cynthia were in most classes together in their first years of college.  They developed a deep friendship, did homework together, and even sometimes went to church together at their religious-sponsored school.  They never dated.  Both were engaged to their high school sweethearts in different distant cities in their home towns.

One day Mitch surprised Cynthia by quietly, thoughtfully mentioning, "You know, Cynthia, if we ever married each other, it would never work.  We're too much alike.  My Kate keeps everything organized for me.  Somehow, she'll keep all the bills paid, kids scrubbed, and take care of all the details when we're married.  I have an idea that Adrian would do just the same for you.  If you and I married, we'd probably end up homeless."

Cynthia was dumbfounded and speechless.  She had not ever grasped that Mitch cared so deeply for her. She now knew that she also loved him, with all her heart.  He was right about one thing.  Her fiance was a strong person who would take care of making all the decisions when they got married.

At last, Cynthia softly murmured, "Mitch, you're so right about Kate and Adrian being strong persons.  Besides, if we left them, they'd be very hurt."

That conversation was never mentioned again.  The end of the semester came.  Mitch and Cynthia went home for the summer.  Adrian had graduated and wanted to get married right away, so Cynthia quit school and they married.  Right from the start, their marriage was a failure.  Sure, Adrian was a strong person, but he was a bully, an abusive bully.

Lessons learned:  Perhaps Mitch and Cynthia should have taken time to judge whether their fiances were really the right match for each of them.  Was Mitch - and, in reality, Cynthia, also - just too kind and mellow, and even lazy?

If they had the maturity to recognize their beautiful, deep feelings for each other, could they have realized that if they worked together, they could have done anything together?!

Both Mitch and Cynthia took the easy way out and didn't rock the unsteady boat of an tenuous engagement.  Cynthia never saw Mitch again but would find herself thinking of him, at times, and wondering what might have been. . .

Another lesson: a long-distance relationship is no way to get to know someone. Besides, what's the rush to get married?  Cynthia might have judged differently if she had graduated, worked for several years, and lived in the same city as Adrian.  People who pressure you to get married may have an agenda: get you committed before you find out what human rats they are!

Please, if you have serious misgivings about your relationship, bring those feelings out in the open and talk with someone you trust about them.

Nothing in this life is random.  God puts loving people in our paths to help us.  It's like God whispers in our ears, "I couldn't touch you, but I sent him."  Nurture the loves you're sent!