Running From Work

Situation:  Neil was a big shot.  He was an entertainer, a comedian, working part-time, whenever he could get a 'gig' at a party.  Mary Rose was a 19-year-old college student who met him at a party.  Neil was older, sophisticated, tall and good looking.  He had worked in New York and was a 'very big deal.'  Compared to the 'boys' Mary Rose had dated in her home town, Neil was the Knight on the Big White Horse.

Mary Rose fell instantly in love (instantly in surge of hormones??) with Neil.  Mary Rose was also different than the skanky females who Neil had previously dated.  She had 'class.'

They dated for two weeks and Mary Rose moved into his apartment.  Besides being full-time in college, Mary Rose worked as a waitress.  Neil had approximately two jobs as a comedian per month.  He liked to stay up half the night and sleep till mid-afternoon.  When Mary Rose bugged him to get a side job to help pay bills, he worked as a clerk in a department store - for a month.  She never knew why he left or got fired.  He said he and the manager "had a difference of opinion."

Mary Rose's family was horrified, petrified, and saddened when Mary Rose told them that she and Neil were living together.  They saw an extremely bad future in this relationship.  But Mary Rose stuck with him, until he went out on her.  Then she took him back.  Once, she met his daughter, finding out he had never been married.  Still Mary Rose stayed with Neil.

Their life was stuck in this same pattern all the while Mary Rose was in college.  Mary Rose always worked part-time, Neil worked one or two months in a store, then went months between jobs.  Once or twice a month, he worked as a comedian.  He liked to eat at fancy restaurants.  They lived in many different apartments, each one in worse condition than the last one.  Neil was still tall but he had gained an enormous amount of weight.

Finally, Neil went out on her again and Mary Rose had it.  She left him - for good.

Lessons learned:  It certainly is not The Most Important Quality in a prospective mate, but Work Ethic is one of those non-negotiable, deal-breaker qualities.  If your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't particularly like to work, run, run, run the other way as fast as you can!  Poverty is painful!  No relationship continues for long if one person feels they're doing all the work, in any area.  These days, in most families both the wives and husbands work.  In some families, as it was traditionally done, the husband brings home the income and the wife stays home with the children.  However, even if the husband is the only wage-earner, the wife has to have a work history she can return to, if for any reason, the husband can not work.


In these days of high unemployment, many folks lost their jobs. For some, it's been two or three or even four years since they have worked in their field.  The smart person will go back to school, even technical school, and get a marketable job!  Sitting around applying for jobs that no longer exist is, well, stupid.  Pardon my candor!  There are jobs out there: maybe not glamorous, certainly not high-paying, but jobs.  And, in the end, a job is a job is a job is a job.  You do what THEY want, WHEN they want you to, but - YOU GET PAID!!

Outcome:  Neil moved to another town but I hear about him from time to time.  He's still the same Neil, just works as a comedian when he can.  His new girlfriend works though.  See a pattern?

Mary Rose has an extremely well-paying, satisfying job.  Occasionally, Neil will contact her, asking for money or just to say nasty things.

Our Take On This:  If you know a person in this situation, print this out and BEG them to reconsider!  There is nothing but misery in a liaison like this!  In the Bible, it says, "Let him who does not work not eat."  Please, God, open all our eyes to the reality of the importance of a steady job!