With a Mom having German ancestry and a Dad who was active Army, plus being in Catholic schools, I was highly disciplined as a child. Being of an agreeable nature (or so I thought), I took to it well. Dad never once raised his voice to me. Mom got frustrated with me once in a while because she said I was "sassing" her, or talking back when I should have just shut up. I always thought I was just trying to explain myself.
Quite a few times, Mom told me, with a smile on her face and fire in her eyes, "I hope you have children just like you!" I was so pleased. I knew I was such a good girl and would have lots of good children just like myself.
Now that I'm a mother and grandmother, I fully realize that whenever Mom tossed that gem of wisdom at me, she was stretched to her absolute limit of endurance and was actually wishing my own 'badness' to come back at me if I was ever blessed with children. That's payback!
To be honest, I've wished that very same 'compliment' on certain ones of my children! (All?)
The Bible says that the sins of the parents are visited on the children. So, we pass down our evil inclinations. When I heard that, I knew I did not, ever, want to do that! But what were the 'sins of my parents' I didn't want to pass down?
The only thing I could recognize as something that positively had to stop with me was what I recognized in my Grandmother as "cut-off behavior." Several times, Granny "cut-off" various ones of us when we didn't do what she expected. She definitely considered herself to be the ruler of the entire family.
Once, she told my cousin, Jim, "You should have quit your job to take care of your Dad's farm when he was sick. You're out of my will!" As it turned out, Uncle Robert was incapacitated six weeks due to a black widow spider bite which almost killed him. Aunt Rosemary took care of their dairy cows. Jim had his own family to take care of. Keep in mind that Granny hardly had anything to be willed to anyone at the time.
Another time, Granny told me, "I never want to see you again." A brand new mother, I had committed the unforgivable sin of questioning her care for my baby. (We resolved this nine months later.)
Much, much later in my life, I realized that I didn't want to follow the edict of the family, "Children should be seen and not heard." While children positively need to learn respect for authority, they need to be heard at appropriate times. That was certainly more difficult than expecting a child to always be quiet in the presence of elders. Yet, I feel it benefited my children.
Because of my sassiness, Mother called me, "Street Angel, House Devil!" I didn't understand it at all. What she meant was that all my teachers and all other adults thought I was such a wonderful child but at home I was terrible!
True to the Bible, my children have had problems with their children in exactly the same way. And I remind them what Mother called me, "Sounds like he's (or she's) a Street Angel and House Devil!"
Dear Lord, please help all us parents and grandparents be good examples to our precious young ones and to each other. We need, You know, lots more patience with the feisty little mongrels!!
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