The question was, "Can I love two men at the same time? I've been dating them both for months and both want to marry me. And I want to marry both of them. But I must choose only one. How can I choose?" This question was asked of me by a young woman recently, and I really didn't know what to say. I replied, "I'm not sure what you might do, how you could choose. Let me think about it."
My response: First of all, I considered the nature of true love. One criteria is EXCLUSIVITY. True love will consume your nearly every waking moment and even keep you awake at night with thoughts of your beloved. No one has ever been more loving, gentle, caring, generous, wise or as desirable as your beloved.
True love will heighten your every sense. Your world is now wonderful, beautiful, almost sparkling. You want to drink in the sight of every fall tree, even a skeleton of a tree that's already dropped its leaves, even the lone yellow leaf trapped in the grass. The last roses of the season are so vibrant you are almost moved to tears! Even the clouds are fluffier. But more than that, much more, you yearn to be with your beloved always. Do you sincerely feel this desire?
True love markedly changes your life. You feel energized! You could conquer the world, clean the world, teach the world! Then you're exhausted. True love will have you smiling inside at all times. True love will make you want to sing.
True love is noticed by others. When you're together, you will both glow. The love, kindness and generosity, the "togetherness" and "couple-ness" will shine. Do your friends say, "I think he's sweet on you!"
Two people in love complement each other very well, they work together well. It is very comfortable to be in each other's presence; with no other has this been experienced before now. It is such a JOY to be together!
True love wants only the best for the beloved. That can never be dating a person for an extended time who is also dating someone else (or worse than that, married or engaged to someone else).
If you truly want two people equally, perhaps it's just your hormones speaking to their hormones: "I find you very attractive. I want to feel this way often - that you find me attractive!" And that's the way the world of dating sorts out who exactly we find most attractive in all the finer qualities - goodness, holiness, patriotism, commitment, fortitude, patience, to begin. Perhaps you have not yet reached this "sorting-out" stage with the men you're dating.
So, here are my suggestions: be honest with the two gentlemen. Keep dating both of them, if they will. Don't jump into marriage with either one. Let the process of knowing you truly love one person work out naturally, with no pressure.
Good luck! True love is worth taking your time, worth the wait.
Dear Lord, all of us seek love. Let us look in the right places, if we're looking. Let us take our time with our choices. Most of all, let us consult YOU with any questions we may have! We take example from Your tremendous love for us!
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