This man, Ted, prided himself on planning. He couldn't go on the shortest trip out-of-town without knowing the exact mileage and duration. He made lists of anything and everything. Knowing exactly how much he ever earned since his first job, Ted would never, could never, WASTE not even a single penny. Funny thing was, everything Ted wanted was valuable. The family had to beg for what they needed.
This fastidiousness in Ted might have been a virtue, something good, except he took it too far. He was obsessive in his planning, his lists, his insistence that everything in his life be PERFECT. Now you know and I know this level of perfection is not possible except with God. Trouble was, Ted acted like he was God.
Ted also thought his opinions were perfect. He was a classic "control freak." Ted had to be in control of everything and everyone. Of course, at his job, he had bosses. Ted always thought they were stupid, especially when he suggested something and they never did any of what he proposed. Over the years, he nearly got fired several times. So, in addition to all this, Ted was unhappy. Pity the poor people with whom he had to (and still do) work! Pity even more his long-suffering family!
His wife, Jennifer, related this to me one day when we were talking about road trips. It seemed that the family had to visit out-of-town relatives. Naturally, Ted knew exactly how far they would travel. The car was packed, the children were securely belted in place, the wife sat in her customary place (Ted would never, ever allow her to drive - "women don't know how to drive," he opined.).
No one spoke. No one ever spoke in the car. Ted thought that when the children were chatting, they were "fighting" and forbade it. Jennifer just went along; she didn't like to fight with Ted, actually refused to fight with Ted. So, off they went.
They were about halfway to their destination when Ted missed a turn off the interstate! Jennifer knew they were supposed to turn. She didn't remind Ted the way a normal wife or friend would because she knew what would ensue: Ted would be furious, insist that he was going to turn and she should just shut up. She had had way too much of that horrible temper of Mr. Perfect already. Let him figure out his own mistake!
They went more than twenty miles more down the road before Ted figured out, "I don't think this looks right. Give me the map, let me check (Ted thought GPSs were too expensive and unnecessary).
Jennifer handed him the map and while driving, he looked and found out they were, indeed, going the wrong way.
At the next exit, Ted, turned around and retracked their last twenty miles, then turning off on the correct exit. Jennifer never scolded him. Why bother? He acted as if this was planned. The children never were aware of the mishap. The incident never was mentioned to anyone.
For those who may be planning on a "forever" relationship, be alert. Assess carefully, with an open mind, your intended spouse. What are his or her good qualities? Do any of them cross the line from being a virtue into being a vice, or even being a mental illness? Cool things off and realize how miserable you might be with a person who truly believes he or she is perfect. Someone who is "rigid" eventually, like a tree in the wind, will break when severe challenges come. And severe challenges come to us all.
Lord in Heaven, when we love someone, we tend to magnify their good qualities and totally ignore their faults. Help us see the total picture and maturely evaluate their "happiness potential" with us in the future.
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