It's wonderful to see a couple obviously enjoying each other's company in their fun activities. Some wives really 'get into' the football games with their husbands. Some husbands love to putter around antique shops with their wives.
Then there are the 'golf widows,' the wives who are abandoned at every opportunity while their husbands play yet another round of golf with their friends. In my part of the country, Kentucky, there are plenty of families in which the husbands frequently go hunting or fishing with their pals.
Rick was such a man, a guy who from an early age hunted everything that could be legally hunted with his rifle, and who fished for particular fish, notably bass. After he married Ella, nothing changed. He bought a big boat (expensive!) and enjoyed his hunting and fishing every weekend, all weekend, and sometimes during the week with his same male friends and relatives. Every year, when he had his vacation, Rick and his pals went to a faraway lake or even to the Atlantic coast one year, to fish. Meanwhile, Ella and the children stayed at home.
It is amazing that Ella never got upset at Rick for always being gone. Now that Rick and Ella are grandparents, things have changed. Rick hardly ever goes hunting or fishing anymore. He openly admitted, "I wish I had been home when the kids were growing up. I missed so much." Now he spends lots of time with the grandchildren.
Negotiating compatibility in regards to hobbies boils down to a few simple things: 1) Before you commit to marry someone, be honest with yourself and your spouse-to-be: do you really enjoy the same things? Don't pretend to like sports or church activities or playing cards if you really don't like them. 2) Discover if your spouse-to-be has hobbies that he or she will be doing without you, can you handle being without them for long periods of time? Forever? Or do you really long for "couple time together?"
The amount of free time each person has and also the amount of money that will be devoted to it, is important to a relationship. You certainly can't plan your whole life together, but at least you can know, up front, what you may be getting yourself into!
Lord, help us to be honest with ourselves, with each other, but especially with You!
No comments:
Post a Comment