Background: Proudly, I'm an Army brat! My dear Dad, Reuben, started from humble beginnings in Saltillo, Tennessee, boasting that "I stayed in my senior year in high school for two years because there was nothing else to do." He worked at a J.C.Penney's store in Arkansas and played the trumpet in a local band somewhere, the jobs I know about before he enlisted in the Army in 1937. He worked as a recruiter in Arizona and ended up in the Army's Signal Corps which dealt with communication. By the time World War II ended, he had climbed to the rank of Captain.
My mom, Adeline, was born and raised in Louisville, Kentucky. The U.S.O. organization there took busloads of young women to Fort Knox, Kentucky, to dance with the soldiers. There my Mom and Dad met and started dating. Dad proposed marriage to Mom on December 6, 1941. That was a never-ending source of pride for mom because the Pearl Harbor tragedy occurred the next day, December 7th. Mom said that after Pearl Harbor, many couples got engaged.
Mom and Dad married in Louisville on December 26th, 1941. Then Dad left for his duty in China. What a lonely time they must have experienced apart! And how mom must have worried! Having sons, grandsons, nephews, brothers, and friends in various armed services, I know something of the heart-wrenching worry when a loved one is in a war zone.
Mom, my three younger brothers, and I lived with Dad when he was stationed in Germany, Norfolk, Virginia, and Fort Knox, Kentucky (total of three assignments there). Otherwise, the family lived in Louisville while Dad was stationed in the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., and in Japan for two years.
Dad retired from the Army in 1957 with a rank of Lieutenant Colonel. He and Mom always liked to live near a military base for the medical benefits. When I'd visit them, we would always visit the Officers' Club for dinner at least once. At a base in California, I remarked to Mom and Dad, "I wish the whole world was run like a military base. Everything is perfectly clean. There are so many services, all the support a family could need, you just have to ask. Everyone works at their jobs. There is very little crime." Of course, it is not that simple. A military man or woman has to want to work and also must follow orders from superiors.
Mom and Dad were married for 60 1/2 years till Mom's death in 2002! They had their share of problems, but they worked together and enjoyed an enviable closeness in their later years.
It takes a strong woman to be a military wife. When her husband is out-to-sea or at a foreign post, she has to take care of paying the bills, all problems with children or school or home. Many, including my mother, were up to the challenge. (These days, there are also military women who sometimes have to leave husbands in charge.)
Another situation tests the family when Dad returns. It's a different life for him and the family has to get used to him all over again.
What are the rewards? First, a military family really does get to "See the World!" Different cultures are beautiful and sometimes exciting. My parents raised me to be a 'child of the world,' in other words, to appreciate people no matter where they live. Another benefit is that children learn to make friends easily. My parents enjoyed a great number of friends they kept from the various places where they lived. And then, there is the feeling of doing a very important job for our country, keeping the peace!
Many men I have worked with in nursing have previous military experience. Many, but not all, wish they would have made a career out of the Navy, Army, etc. Many of those left the service because 'the wife couldn't handle it.' Too bad! Some left because they wanted to make more money as a civilian.
Situation: Ed was a Navy man. He dearly loved his job. Sally despised being at home, having to deal with her daughter and baby son all by herself. Besides, she was lonely, even dating other men at times. Ed knew there were big problems at home and did not re-enlist when his tour of duty ended. Even though Ed was now at home, Sally kept dating others.
Lessons learned: A man and woman have to know themselves and share that with their intended spouse. The matter of job, place to live, not to mention values, must be discussed before marriage. Spare yourself the pain of divorce, settle all the important matters before you commit.
Outcome: Ed's military service probably had very little to do with this divorce. Sally married and divorced many times after the first time. Ed didn't marry for more than twenty years. Now he is happily married to spouse #2.
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