Background: What kind of activity do you like? Nearly continuous? Mostly couch potato stuff? Somewhere in between? This definitely has an effect on your relationships, especially on your marriage. If you're an easy-going person, working and playing fairly hard, but like to relax in the evenings, you probably wouldn't get along with someone who avoids work except for the bare minimum. You also wouldn't enjoy living with a person who worked at something every waking minute then stayed up late to watch the talk shows. People are different: there's no right or wrong here.
Situation: Becka considered herself a fairly active and energetic young woman. She worked hard at her job all day. After dinner was cleaned up, she wanted to read or watch TV. She was married to Jason; he kept a long list of things he 'had' to do after work (it never included helping Becka or interacting with the children). After a few years, when she figured out that no one would see him till 10 or 11 o'clock in the evening, she started developing outside interests. Several times a month, Becka would play cards with the 'girls' or volunteer at church.
Jason was really mad! How dare she go somewhere and leave HIM to BABYSIT!! (Of course, Becka would have the children ready for bed if she had to leave earlier.)
Lessons learned: No one ever thinks about your desired level of activity and that there are differences between people. This can be a big source of trouble in a marriage or other relationship. Know yourself, know your intended spouse! Be aware of what they do in their leisure time, or IF they have leisure time!
Outcome: Becka and Jason's marriage didn't last because this was not the only issue. They were really living separate lives. They would go out ONLY where he wanted to go. He was a real control super-freak, apparently!
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