Background: Just as we wouldn't want to carry around on our backs all our old clothes, shoes, pots and pans, and other possessions, there are problems we don't want hanging over our heads. It might interfere with our happiness and our present relationships. That's what is called "baggage."
Situation: Karen is a delightful lady I've known for many years. In her younger years, Karen worked hard at her business, raised her children, then came down with a chronic illness that has sapped all her finances, and, at times, nearly all her energy. She has been hospitalized so many times that I fear each and every one 'might be her last time,' but she keeps on going. "What else can I do?" she quips.
Most of the time, Karen will tell you what's going on with her treatment, if you ask, but she does not speak of it endlessly - and exclusively. Karen has a wonderful memory about what's going on in her friends' lives and is extremely good with phone calls, the one thing she can do.
Yet, there are others who, when you finish chatting with them, make you feel like you've just earned another credit toward your M.D. degree, the details of their illness are so many and so graphic. I'm trying to be a good listener, but it's hard to bring myself to have a one-way conversation, on purpose.
While chronic illnesses are severely testing to the patient, the family, and friends, an illness from which a person is expected to recover is not as traumatic, because there is an end in sight. We will help out the ill one and rejoice when he or she has recovered.
Lessons learned: If you're sick with either a long-term or short-term illness, 'let it all hang out,' in other words, do your complaining, with your medical personnel. Believe me, we understand. And most of us have an endless supply of compassion, Praise the Lord! We can take it! Be kind to your family and friends. They suffer with you, just because they love you! Have a really positive outlook, for their sakes, even if you have to pretend at times.
Outcome: Karen is physically and mentally, a 'fighter.' She will not give up! She does everything the doctors, nurses, and therapists tell her do to do, with gusto. This tenacity always helps her recover, go into remission, for a time. I've seen this 'positive attitude' help so many patients. If you give up and 'take to your bed,' the term the old novels mentioned, you will soon be in the grave. If for no other reason, adopt a positive attitude for those who love you!
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