Career versus Job?

Background:  Women in America, in general, have always worked very hard, but not for pay.  That was up to the man of the family.  In the 1960's, the Feminist Movement presented the idea that women were 'unfulfilled' just being a mother and wife at home.  Until that time, women prided themselves on being able to live on their husband's income.  After that time, women wanted 'their own' income.  This was an incredible social change; no one knew it at the time.

Women had always supported their husbands, the wage earners. 'Support' meant keeping his clothes clean, shopping and cooking good meals, doing all the housecleaning and child care.   Now, they still were expected to support their husbands.  However, they found that most men were unwilling or unable to adjust their schedule to help out the wives.  The men, most of them, did no more work around the house if their wives worked outside the home for pay.  Research proved, that if a woman worked outside her home, the men actually did less around the home.  I don't think, no, I know that this is NOT what the feminists had in mind.

What the feminists wanted was that the husbands and wives, both of whom were 'fulfilled' outside the home in their paying jobs, would contribute equally in doing the housework.

What this 'fulfillment' equation failed to address was the difference between 'jobs' and 'careers.'  A job is a place of employment at which you work a designated number of hours per week then go home and totally forget about it.  A JOB is only a means to a paycheck.  A JOB does not provide the meaning or happiness in your life.  It pays the bills, and this is important.

On the other hand, a CAREER is a way of life.  You think about a career for many hours outside of what you actually get paid for.  Your CAREER provides much happiness, meaning, FULFILLMENT in your life.

The bottom line was, and the feminists did not know this, or, if they did, they didn't tell anyone, most men didn't have FULFILLING CAREERS, they merely had jobs.  When the women left their homes to get paying jobs, the great majority found out the hard way: a job is just a job is just a job. . .it's hard work for pay less than you think it's worth. . .and someone else had to raise your children. 

Situation:  Anastasia and Luke married in Pharmacy school.  They had their life together fairly well planned.  Both would get good jobs, save for a great house, have dogs for a couple of years, then have a girl and a boy child.  So far, so good!  They had the house, dogs, and were expecting their first child.  When she was four months pregnant, Anastasia's doctor did an ultrasound and discovered that the child was handicapped. Anastasia said she absolutely could not care for a handicapped child and had an abortion.  It's been thirteen years since then and Anastasia has been unable to get pregnant.  She feels like her life is empty.

Lessons learned:  Used to be, a couple bought a house, indeed, the banks lent money, based on the husband's income alone.  What would happen if the wife had a difficult pregnancy and had to spend several months taking it easy?  Counting on both incomes forever is risky business. In the past several years, there have been millions of home foreclosures due to one parent losing a job.

Also used to be that a couple wanted children as a result of their love for each other and had no other thought than to accept what God gave them.  No one even knew whether the child would be a girl or a boy.  It didn't matter!  Handicapped?  Every person has minor or major flaws.  Whatever came would be dealt with.  Everyone helped out each other. 

PLANS for your WHOLE LIFE?  That's also foolish!  You can plan several years in the future then hope for and pray for the best.  Life always gives us a few (or many) tall or short 'hurdles' to overcome!

Outcome:  I used to work with Anastasia.  She turned out to be a very bitter woman.  She wanted children of her own but was not willing to adopt one. Both she and her husband work as pharmacists but consider their work as 'jobs,' not careers.  But it pays well!  IF they had children, they could easily have paid for child care.  Everyone is not as fortunate. 

FYI: IF Anastasia had not quickly had the abortion without telling anyone, I would have advised her to get a second ultrasound from a different doctor.  Ultrasounds are not 100% reliable. Also, it is much healthier for a woman physically, especially with her first pregnancy, to deliver the baby and give the child to someone else to raise if she didn't want the child for any reason.  I know a family with both parents present that have three children.  With the fourth pregnancy, the mother didn't feel she could care for another child and gave the baby for adoption (a beautiful daughter!).