Situation: Marge and Joan were friends. They had met at church. Marge was in her fifties and Joan was in her thirties. Ordinarily, Joan would not befriend such an unkempt, sad person, but the other women in church actually ignored Marge and Joan felt sorry for her. Marge was divorced and Joan was suffering in an unhappy marriage.
Although Marge's husband had left her, Joan could see why Marge was better off without him. Marge's husband was extremely controlling and self-centered. Marge had tried to help their now-grown children with homework and would have to take them to the attic to avoid her husband's rants. One time the children had a pet duck. Their dad didn't like the duck. One day Marge and the kids came home from shopping. They couldn't find the duck. Later, Marge found the duck, in the freezer, stiff!
Marge and Joan couldn't help but talk about their abusive husbands when they got together. Marge told of how, when she was married, Marge would drop the newspapers all over the living room just to aggravate her husband and 'get back at him.' Joan remembered reading in her Bible, "Revenge is mine, saith the Lord God." She would not do anything at all to aggravate her husband; she was still trying to save their marriage. Joan felt her husband deserved some sort of revenge but knew that whatever payment he received from God would truly be 'just.'
Lessons learned: Revenge may feel good at the time it is accomplished, whether it is small things like Marge did, or cruel, serious actions, but in the end, it is the wrong thing to do. Any form of hatred harms the person doing the hating far more than it hurts the victim. On this day, Sunday, the Christian Day of the Lord, I am once again reminded of the Bible. It is the Word of God, our Model for Living. If we but follow what it says, we will have peace in our lives, no matter what is going on around us. God doesn't expect us to be rich or famous, he just invites us to be holy. I'm old (or so my children and grandchildren think of me - it's OK!). It took me too long to figure this out. Most older folks figure it out. Why waste your time? We really don't know how long we will live! Make the best of it - now!
Outcome: After some months, Marge told Joan about certain physical symptoms. Joan told her, "That's not right, you need to see a doctor." Marge replied, "I'm fine. I feel fine." Several months after that, Marge was in a lot of pain. She finally went to a doctor. She had incurable cancer. She died nine months later. The nurse in me compels me to remind you: You've seen the signs of cancer on TV many, many times. If there is one thing you're not very sure about, a physical sign that is not normal, please, please, consult your doctor! Isn't it better to spend a little money finding out that you're 'negative' for cancer than to put it off and possibly let it advance to an incurable stage?
And, no, Joan's marriage didn't last either. Although she worked very hard to save her marriage, even to the point of seeking counseling for herself when her husband refused, in the end, she left him.
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