The Remodeler

Situation:  Penny and Ron were married with a little girl, a toddler.  Penny had gained forty pounds with her pregnancy and was determined to not only lose the extra weight but take off a little more since she was slightly overweight when she got married.  It took a few months of the hard work of dieting and exercise, but Penny did it!  She was quite pleased with herself.

Actually, Penny was a full ten pounds underweight.  She had not weighed so little in her adult life.  But she enjoyed buying clothes in smaller sizes!  Ron was not at all pleased.  He told Penny, "You're still a little fat."  That word, "fat," is a terrible word to call someone.  Penny was not fat!

Soon, the couple was expecting their second child.  Penny again gained forty pounds.  This time, she was so busy, she forgot about her figure and dieting.  The weight stayed on and the years went by. Penny gained even more.  Ron kept reminding Penny about her weight.  She didn't appreciate this 'nagging,' but vowed that, sooner or later, she would work on it.

There were other things Ron didn't like about Penny's appearance.  He wanted her hair long and straight. He didn't think she should wear any make-up at all.  Penny didn't mind keeping her hair long but she couldn't bear to go without make-up.  Ron also wanted Penny to wear 'sexy' clothes with low-cut necklines and very short skirts.  She was too much of a lady to wear 'hooker' clothes in public.

One time, Ron told Penny, "Loose your weight and I'll take you anywhere."  This appealed to Penny because they never went anywhere on 'dates.'  Penny tried!  She would lose a few pounds then Ron would reward her by taking her out to a restaurant with a fabulous buffet.  Then she'd gain back the weight.  The pattern continued for several more years.

Lessons learned:  If you're in the middle of an aggravating situation, it's hard to see the pattern.  With this couple, did Ron really want Penny to look great?  He seemed to sabotage her efforts every single time.  Unless you've been a serial, yo-yo weight gainer and loser, you don't know how positively discouraging it is for someone to criticize your appearance.  Of course, you want to be slim and trim.  But the anxiety and sadness of someone badgering you makes you eat more to cope.

Outcome:  At last Penny saw Ron for what he was: a jerk who was unlikely to ever change.  She felt liberated!  She decided to stick to her diet and exercise routine and lost years of pounds and inches.  She was so happy to look great again, she felt, "It was SO worth it, I would have done it even if I had 10,000 pounds to lose!"   Did Ron take Penny places now?  NO.  And did Penny care?  NO.  She went wherever she pleased with her friends and enjoyed her new life.  Did Penny and Ron stay married?  Unfortunately, no.  Penny realized there had never been any love between them.