Situation: Couple #1: Mary was a college student working in her hometown during the summer break. She was living with a girlfriend in her family vacation home. Peter, an older man she knew, called her up and wanted to go out. He is so lonely, he said, his wife is just a witch. Mary felt sorry for him. She told him she'd go out and just planned to listen to him, to be a friend. Peter, however, had other plans and soon seduced her. For several months, Peter and Mary had sex in unimaginable locations. Once, they went to Peter's home when his wife was not at home.
Couple #2: Frances is an older, thirty-ish career woman. She has dated Ollie, a married man with children for close to ten years. He told her, "I have no intention of leaving my wife. We will not hurt the children." Frances doesn't like to sneak around and she doesn't expect Ollie to leave his wife. She earns more money than he does so Frances has to pay for everything when they go out. Ollie is very careful to go to out-of-town spots. Sometimes they go away for the weekend. Frances would like to bring Ollie home to meet her parents and brothers but Ollie refuses.
Outcome: Couple #1: At the end of the summer, Mary found out that Peter's wife was expecting another child. Mary was devastated, to the point of contemplating suicide. She had to be hospitalized for a short time, for her safety. She refused to go out with Peter again. She couldn't believe Peter lied to her. In time, Mary recovered. She never again let herself be victimized.
Couple #2: Ollie and Frances are still dating. Frances' friends think she is wasting her life.
Lessons learned: In years past, the women who provided sex on the side for married men were called "mistresses" or "kept women," if the men supported them. There were other, crude names. Most of these women quickly developed a bad reputation and never married decent men. Why did they start such 'doomed' relationships? Why did some women continue these relationships for many years? When did they just give up on ever finding a man who would truly love them?
Research has shown that those involved in extra-marital 'affairs' like the excitement of having a hidden relationship; very little 'love' is involved in this. True love involves earnestly wanting the 'best' for the loved one. Sneaking around so no one finds out is NOT the 'best!'
Unmarried women and men should never let a married friend or colleague think of them as potential dates. Flirting is NOT harmless! Do NOT, for your own protection, EVER cross the line! You will bitterly regret it, sooner, or later. Like it or not, adultery is wrong! Besides, you don't want it on your conscience that you have taken time away from the married person's family! Don't be selfish!
No comments:
Post a Comment