Friend, with Benefits

Situation:  Connie and Nick have been dating for 5 weeks.  She is 24 years old and he is 32.  They are established in their jobs.  Each has their own condo.  Nick asked Connie, "Why don't we move in together?  You know how much we love each other."  They are very much attracted to each other but have not had sex.  Connie remembers her previous experience, three years ago, living together with her last boyfriend, and what a disaster it was.  She will NOT repeat that experience.  It ruined her financially and made her depressed for months.  Besides, Connie has heard about the research that proves "serial co-habitors are much less likely to ever get married."  She would like to meet a wonderful, responsible man, get married, and have a family.  Connie immediately says, "No, I'm just not interested in that kind of relationship."

Figuring that Connie is either 1) playing hard to get or 2) doesn't want to share her apartment and doesn't like his, Nick then suggests, "Well, how about if we just be "friends, with benefits?"  Connie has heard this new term and knows exactly what it means: the guy expects to have sex whenever he wants with not even the pretense of 'love.'

Lessons learned:  It's best not to give your heart completely to another without finding out what type of person he or she is.  Anyone who wants sex before a commitment of marriage does not love you - at all!  Real love wants the best for the beloved.  Real love says, "This is forever."  Real love is not casual.  Why settle for an imitation?  You don't have to!

Outcome:  Connie firmly replied to Nick, "I'm really sorry you think I'm that kind of woman.  In my mind, it's really worse than being a prostitute!  I was hoping you were a gentleman who had both our interests at heart.  I'm really disappointed.  Just don't bother calling me again."  Nick didn't say anything and sulked away with his best 'hurt puppy' look.